ROCKIN’ ON JAPAN
NOTE: Utada talks about her first album in years, Fantôme. She announced a break from her music career in 2011 to focus on 'human activities'. In those years she moved to London, lost her mother to suicide, married and had a child. She looks back on Fantôme and all that’s happened.
Q: I’ve been looking forward to interviewing you again. It’s been a while!
U: It has. Thank you for your letter.
Q: No, no. Your album was just too amazing.
U: That makes me happy. Thank you very much.
Q: Well, your album is truly wonderful. That’s why it has received so much support.
U: I guess, yeah.
Q: How do you feel about it?
U: Hmm. You never know whether something is going to sell or not, right? But this time there was a big gap between releases, many things have happened, surface-level things such as my singing style have also changed and everyone was waiting 'I wonder what she’ll release this time?' — It was my first time to release an album in such a situation. I did wonder how people would receive it, but I’m happy I got a warm response.
Q: I felt it was really worth listening to.
U: No, no, no. Actually, what surprised me was that some people felt it was musically bland. I read some comments by reviewers and I was surprised they wrote the arrangements weren’t particularly new. When I had asked some of the arrangers I’ve worked with in the past to join in, they listened to my demo’s and what I wanted to make, and they said to me "So fresh!". When we were discussing the album title, they even joked "Can’t we just call it 'Fresh'?'
Q: Hahaha. In other words, the taste of my fellow traders in this business is the traditional Utada Hikaru, the programming one, huh.
U: Yeah. Well, it’s quite glittery and pretty.
Q: I think they had a particular image in mind and they were a bit floored when you released something different.
U: I see!
Q: That’s why I think this album proved that the users have better ears than the industry figures. I also heard people around me say "Utada Hikaru is quite bland this time 'round."
U: You did? Wow.
Q: I lashed back, 'What the hell are you saying!?', of course (laughs).
U: I thought I was really pushing like never before, actually (laughs). Well, I did mature obviously, how to put it, there’s a more calm soberty to this album. Maybe that’s why people felt it was bland or not very flashy.
Q: But people did truly listen to it.
U: Yes, yes.
Q: It had a strong reaction, not just in Japan but all over the world. I think this really encouraged you. Did it?
U: Yes, it did. I felt it’s alright to do things naturally. It really gave me courage.
Q: When I first heard Manatsu no Tooriame, I was so moved I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up writing you a letter (laughs).
U: It made me really happy when people who make music or work closely with music told me 'Amazing!'.
Q: Thinking Utada Hikaru has become able to make this song almost made me cry.
U: (laughs) I was defenseless like never before. While I did always express the things I couldn’t say in some way or another, it wasn’t until my mother’s death — leaving my private situation suddenly exposed to everyone — that I had nowhere to hide. I felt I had no shield to guard myself with and I was able to throw everything out like 'Waah!'. It took a lot of courage to let everything come out freely and honestly. Although I still work the same way as I did before, it’s like I was working inside a forest before, whilst now I was working on a plateau, without a place to hide.
Q: That’s why your melodies and words changed.
U: Yes, I see.
[…]
Q: Why did you decide to take a break on your activities?
U: Hmm, I don’t remember when exactly I said I wanted a break, but… it was after This Is The One.
Q: How was your overseas tour?
U: It was very fun. I haven’t done many tours, so there were many firsts. Fans outside of Japan are very passionate. They’re not nervous or shy at all. They pulled me along instead of the other way around. And it was interesting to see people from many different countries and religions. It was like being at an United Nations meeting.
Q: Hahaha.
U: Really, there were people from many different cultures. Girls wearing Islamic clothing, for example. Even so, everyone would sing along to my Japanese songs. It made me feel the power of music. Some time after this, I started thinking "Is it alright to go on like this?". I had many friends who are in show business, which is very partial. I thought, "Ah, I’m becoming an entertainer!".
Q: Hahaha.
U: People often tell me "You’re very normal" when I first meet them, so I mistakenly thought I had a normal perception of things. But people only say"You’re very normal" because I wasn’t as unnormal as they had thought when they actually meet me. I’ve been in strange surroundings since I was 15 years old. I was constantly given special treatment, I didn’t have to do things normal people have to do and did things I wouldn’t have to do. I ran into more and more situations that made me realise "Ah, I’m starting to become strange". I felt I looked bad. I decided it was best to move away from Japan, where I would always special treatment, and live a normal life. To become a proper adults. That was my main reason. But if I’d go to New York, where things were already in order, I wouldn’t change much. So, I wanted to go somewhere I hadn’t lived before. Somewhere I’d have to build up my life from scratch. I decided, "I guess I’ll go to England". It’s part of the English-speaking world, after all. I had a few acquintances there, too.
I started living in England. I signed my own mobile phone contract, paid the water bill, rented a house, stuff like that. I did all those things for the first time. I started going to the supermarket every day, clean the house. Having to do something can also be bad, right? Being chased by it. Like, I can live properly if I clear this. Having nothing in particular to do, I’d frequent the library to study an African language, took lessons to learn French, things like that. I also went to a school which had totally different ideas from me, not as a student, and helped work the fields. Just interacting with people, without judging which ways of lives or ideologies are good or bad.
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