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thanks so much for the translation. awesome lyrcis
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thanks
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thx ^^
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is there a kanji version anywhere?
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i'm still unsure about [never come into my sight], which is a direct translation from the japanese, but one would not say this in natural english. i feel a passive reversal i.e "i never want to see you again" fits better, as it still implies that she wishes the Microphone never to enter her gaze, yet sounds more fluent in this case... |
Really love the lyrics of Microphone, Thank you very much for the translation!
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Regarding "sight", firstly I think it's sometimes OK to use less-colloquial words/expressions in our translation because ayu's original lyrics sounds less-colloquial/less-chatty sometimes even to Japanese people. Words like 視界, 重力, 敬服 and a kind of philosophical phrases like 私である意味, 存在する意義 are the examples. And another thing to consider here is that we need to differentiate between "kao mo mitaku nai / 顔も見たくない" and "kono shikai ni hairanaide / この視界に入らないで". Because ayu repeats one idea twice in different expressions, we need to do the same, and in this case the second expression is less-colloquial than the first one. How does this explanation sound? |
I really like these lyrics. Microphone sounds very good. :)
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that being the case, there are times i hate you so much i can't stand the sight of you sometimes i even think to myself that i never want to see you again because the literal translation is [never enter into my sight ever again] but as we've used the word -sight- previously, i personally think it's ok to switch it like this... and you? |
Isn't that taking a few too many creative liberties when it comes to translation though?
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^ the problem is that english and japanese are like polar opposite languages at times, so accurate translations (particularly when it comes to poetical thing such as lyrics) are uber-hard to translate well...
i have endeavoured to retain as much of the original as possible whilst at the same time producing something natural-sounding to english speakers... personally, i would translate the line i crouched down and turned my back away from everything even though the original is i turned my back away from everything and crouched down as i find the former to sound better stylistically but it's obviously open to interpretation and everyone will have a different take on it... plus, it's unfortunately half a decade since i've been translating japanese professionally, so i'm rusty as hell :-/ |
> well, i found something interesting... in my dictionary [Xの顔など見たくも無い] is [cannot stand the sight of X] which i think sounds better than the literal translation of [i don't want to see your face]
Well, could you tell me why you think "I cannot stand the sight of you" is better than "I don't want to see your face" for the translation of "顔を見たくない" ? "顔を見たくない" is a very normal and frequently used phrase. Why do you want to use less-frequently-used phrase for the translation of "顔を見たくない" ? As for "視界に入らないで", you know the literal translation of it is "Don't enter into my sight". I'm curious what is bad about this "Don't enter into my sight". I think you said you wanted to avoid using "sight". Then, why do you think using "sight" for the translation of "顔を見たくない" is OK? Let me explain again. Ayu's first phrase is "顔を見たくない" and second phrase is "視界に入らないで". Why do you want to change this order while we can say firstly "I don't want to see your face" and secondly "Don't come into my sight" ? Anyway this is just how I feel. I simply cannot figure out :dead2 As for > i crouched down and turned my back away from everything and > i turned my back away from everything and crouched down , I'm not very sure about nuances of English and I agree it's open to interpretation and liking. I wrote "I felt my limits, turned my back on everything, and crouched down" and it's because it's the order of how ayu sings. I think if we can keep the word order as original as possible, it would be better because ayu fans can follow/sing the lyrics while they have a better image of what ayu/they are singing. ;) |
^ yes i completely agree, it's just difficult because japanese and english grammar are usually opposite in form etc, so it's hard to directly translate without sounding ridiculous sometimes :laugh
yes, i know i was a bit vague about the sight thing.. basically, in english, you can say "get out of my sight!" (i don't want to look at you right now) we don't usually include the face in phrases like this... i.e [jesus, i can't even look at you right now... i can't stand the sight of you... etc] i don't want to look at your face sounds unnatural... it's like... in spanish, me duele la cabeza... literally the head hurts me - my head hurts... you know? so we modify it to sound better in the translated language, whilst retaining the original meaning... but i realise i have thrown a curveball by revearsing the order of the sight thing... but my dicitonary translated -kao mo mitakunai- as -i can't stand/bear the sight of- which to me sounds a perfect translation... the glitch being that the next sentence uses precisely the word -sight-... but one would never say -never enter my sight again-... ok, so howabout we try 'there are times when i hate you so much i can't even look at you sometimes i think to myself get out of my sight and be gone' P.S i have only had 3hours sleep so i'm not the sharpest thorn on the rosebush right now :-/ 御理解と御了承を戴きます様宜しゅう御願い申し上げます... |
to go a bit away from appears and oji-san's translation questions...
may you turn your eyes on this part, it's just minor, but like a thorn in my eye: Quote:
so it should look like this: Quote:
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^ da, i'd put that in my translation but masa-san blanked me on it :laugh
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OMG~~
the lyric is so AWESOME!!! and AWESOME translation! o.O thanks masa! :heart |
awesome lyrics!
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I'm always anxious about my "the/a/(nothing)/one's" My first translation didn't have that "the", but later I added it thinking it may be grammatically weird if "the" is not there. I'm happy to know there's no need for it. Thank you to appears, too! I think I get a part of your points. Is it like "I hit your face" is unnatural (or never used??) and "I hit you in the face" is natural? Then, I agree it's natural and fine to say "I don't even want to look at you" instead of "I don't even want to see your face" As for "get out of my sight", I still feel it's a little too natural. My reasoning is "get out of my sight" is asking something which is in to go out but "shikai ni hairanai de" is asking something which is out not to come in. They are (to me) different things. But, haha, maybe I'm too picky. Another thing I'm curious about is if it's better or not to pursue the natural English in a place where there are many non-native English users. Danke schön for your comments and ideas!! :P |
I personally feel that changing what Ayu wrote simply to have it make more sense for English speakers would be compromising her work somehow, haha. I suppose it depends on the style of the translator in the end. I think there are some people who really dislike when translators try to "localize" their translations, if you understand what I'm saying...
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