What is this feeling, I wonder?
You feel distant,
rapidly becoming a blur, I can't touch you anymore
I close one eye, then slowly the other
If I do it over and over again
It seems as if you're disappearing

It's not an excuse
I'm not glossing it over
Because the one who decided it was a mistake
was me, and no one else

I've let go of it again
What I believed in from the bottom of my heart
Even though I believed you were the only one in the world
I'd spend eternity with

Why did I let go
of what I want to believe in from the bottom of my heart?
Even though it was the last glimmer of hope
left for me in this world

Are you laughing with all your heart?
Haven't you made your way back yet?
I can hear a voice saying,
"Shall I come pick you up?"

I don't have a place to go back to anymore
There's nowhere for me to lay my head
I don't even know where I am now
I haven't known since the day I lost sight of the exit

I won't go back again
No matter how much my heart yearns to be saved
Wherever I am in the whole wide world
Even if it means I'm alone

I won't regret anymore
No matter how my heart may scream
Wherever I am in the whole wide world
Even if it should be my end

The sun will never rise again
This long night will never end

I've let go of it again
What I believed in from the bottom of my heart
Even though I believed you were the only one in the world
I'd spend eternity with

Why did I let go
of what I want to believe in from the bottom of my heart?
Even though it was the last glimmer of hope
left for me in this world

I understand so much it hurts
that there's nothing left but the moon

The clear, cool breeze strokes my cheek
On nights like these, I sit alone,
re-reading the messages you sent me,
and wonder how you felt when you wrote them

Why is living so painful?
Why is living so joyous?

What I can do for you now
is cast aside my tears and be here with a smile

Even during our silly conversations
there are moments full of helplessness that make it real

You can face the difficult days with more strength than most
But I can't express that feeling in words

Living is so precious
Living is so transient

The only thing I can do for you now
is to stay with you, as we are, no matter what

Living is so precious
Living is

To be as we are

edit: thanks tenshi for your input on the first part!

I'm okay now, I made it through
That's what I tell myself*
We've reached the day
that marks the passing of five years
since that day

Even now, my wish
hasn't changed
Once more, just once more
I want to see you

To be as we were
holding hands as we walked
laughing and crying at trivial things

I wonder how I must look to you now
As you look down on me
from the place you chose to be

I pray
there's not a single thing making you suffer
in the place where you chose to be

Until that day, someday
Wait for me

The traces of you haven't disappeared
Every day is full of stories that I want you to hear
They pile up incessantly

Someday, when the time comes for us to meet again
Can I hold you so tightly that you'll hate me?**


*顔をする in Japanese literally means to 'make a face' but in this case, it's like she's putting on a mask. She tells herself (and everyone else) that she's fine 5 years after the death of her friend, but inside she's still hurting.

**Thanks tenshi for your divine inspiration~

It's been five years since the release of the original untitled and thus 5 years since the passing of her friend, as referenced in the lyrics. Ayu also makes very explicit references to the original song through her lyrical choices, especially in the italicized stanza above (which is veeeeery similar to the opening lyrics of the original).

In the middle of an ordinary walk home
I encountered a single flower I'd become familiar with
Its color and shape weren't to my liking
But I was captivated

He loves me, he loves me not
Plucking the petals one by one
What if the last petal should say
"He loves me"?

I awoke this morning and saw the flower laying there
It had fallen without a shred of hesitation
Surely that's why it was so captivating
I gently let it go, and move forward

He loves me, he loves me not
Plucking the petals one by one
Shall I leave the last petal
in the hands of fate?

He loves me, he loves me not
Plucking the petals one by one
If only the last petal said
"He loves me"

Farewell, farewell
Plucking the petals one by one
If the last petal says
"He loves me not"...

Somehow, we forget so quickly
when this all began, and what kind of winds carried us here

Somehow, we become complacent
We're used to being hurt, and not being able to smile

Embrace the reality in front of you and all the love you hold in your arms
Believe in all that you have seen and touched
There will be a rush of feelings and sharp words
But don't give up, change them into a yell for tomorrow

Somehow, we become greedy
and lose sight of how much it cost to get to this point

No one can say what's in store for the future
So choose the reality in front of you and take responsibility
We'll open up the blank page and you can draw a map just for you
Realize the value of everything your eyes will be opened to

Neither you nor anyone else is that strong
so I'll never desert you

Embrace the reality in front of you and all the love you hold in your arms
Believe in all that you have seen and touched
There will be a rush of feelings and sharp words
But don't give up, change them into a yell for tomorrow
That's right, change them into

a yell for tomorrow