The Happiness of Ayumi Hamasaki
 

I'm a little surprised about some of the negativity and doubts surrounding the big announcement. I'm genuinely happy for Ayu, but it also got me to thinking about something regarding the relationship between fans and their idols. So I just wanted to ask: do fans have the right to have a stake in the happiness of the people they admire, people they do not know in REAL life? Why?

My take: I mean, for God's sake, she's 32 years old. She's an adult who can take care of herself and she's capable of making her own decisions. This isn't some sort of immature clueless high school romance; I am sure they know what they're getting into.

Sometimes people just click instantly. Love doesn't have any predetermined lengths or limitations. And honestly, people, please, your ages are showing. The older you get the less time it takes for you to know if you can see a future with someone. By the time you're 30, you've gone through all the crap and now you can see through the BS when it comes to people and relationships, especially when it comes to people of high emotional intelligence like Ayu. Sometimes you just know; it depends on your emotional maturity. You don't need to waste time. I even bet that Ayu has had a lot of boyfriends and flings that her fans know NOTHING about ever since Tomoya Nagase happened. You'd be surprised about the things you never know about people, even your friends.

I wish happiness for the both of them. Let her live her OWN life and let her make her OWN mistakes, if it comes to that. Ayu should not live for anyone but herself.

It's also disappointing to find so many hypocrites in this forum, fans who want the best for Ayu but only if it is on THEIR terms. But that's just what I think.

EDIT: I just wanted to add this question since most people don't bother reading through all of the posts and I wanted to expound on why I started this thread :) For those who are afraid that Ayu would not be as dedicated to her career after her marriage: has it gotten to the point that for Ayu the happiness of her fans is more important than her happiness and that people subscribe to this? Or has the happiness of her fans even become her happiness? That is something I don't know how to feel about yet.

I mean, for once, Ayu will be living for something other than the happiness of her fans.

I agree with absolutely everything you said. I'm disgusted at the amount of negativity from some people--it's her life, she's free to do anything she wants. As long as she's happy, shouldn't you be?

A+ post Uemarasan :yes

My answer is that no, fans shouldn't have any say in her personal life. I find it really sad that people want to control her and her life... why? Just because they pay for her music and that instantly makes them justified? I think those that have any problems with her personal life are lacking something in their own and that's just sad. She's a singer, a performer, an idol etc but that gives no one the right to live her life for her, no matter how much a fan dished out for her latest album or live or spent years dreaming of meeting her.

Wasn't there an interview not long ago where Ayu said she wants to experience everything for herself to the point where even if she could see into the future, she wouldn't want to know anything about it? I'm really happy for her and I hope she finds happyness with Mannie.

I guess some people are negative about the wedding simply because they are afraid it's a huge rush and may end bad for Ayu. As long as she's happy everything's ok.

I don't think it's being hypocritical at all.

Ultimately, most fans are concerned about her happiness. So yes. Is it wrong to be worried for her after this sudden announcement? It's not like fans don't trust her judgment. Heck. We ARE just fans. Like you said, we don't know her personal life. We don't know exactly what she's thinking, what experiences she's had, why she decided to do this, etc, etc. We only know that presumably they first met during the shooting of virgin road and somehow within these few months, they fell in love with each other.

I don't think anyone will disagree that fans DON'T have a right to make decisions for her happiness. It's HER life to do what she wishes. But Ayu is a human being like anyone else. She can make mistakes and she's not perfect. There's as much of a feeling of wanting to wish her well as an underlying worry that this won't work out for her. Based off of personal experiences, it's understandable that so many fans are worried this won't work out for her. They've been together for such short period of time compared to the time with her past boyfriend. Personally, I worry that if it IS an issue with age, I hope she isn't marrying because she's worried about not finding her true love at this age. (Me and my cousins had that kind of conversation before...) Doesn't mean we don't support her. It's being honest.

The problem I think many fans have is the fact that this announcement came out of nowhere makes it seem like she decided this on a spurr of a moment when in actuality, she has probably thought long and hard about it, and had actually taken a lot of time to get to know Mannie and what their relationship is.

So all in all, my thoughts are. It's not wrong that fans are shocked. Worried. And somewhat in disbelief. But I think in time, as their relationship becomes more known and shared to the world. Such uneasiness will disappear. She knows her fans care and that's all. And despite whatever her fans think, only her feelings really matter.

I agree with you.

What bothers me most is when people come up with the most bs excuse for being against their so called "rushed" romance:

"What about the language barrier?"

1. Ayu is a fluent, if not nearly fluent, english speaker. Mannie most likely the same.
2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.
3. Ever been in love with someone with a different native language? No? Then shut up.

I'm happy for Ayu. I always wanted that she find love. But I'm afraid because things are rush. I love Ayu because she brought & brings me a lot of things again. But I don't want to see a divorce after one year because they did things quickly. I would like she has her sweet season family for life & not for a only time!! I want to see her smile because she's happy behind the stage.

I'm glad because it seems she take more time for her now. In the past 4 years she was married with her job & everybody know that she didn't really care about her health (I thought about the event before PCDL 08-09). It's a good thing that there is a person who take care about her. I only hope he 'll never drop her.

In the long run like marriage, yes it is. What about communication?

But that's not an issue with this couple I believe, Ayu's english is actually not that bad in my opinion. maybe not grammatically but she knows a lot of vocab :) I was so amazed in the CNN interview!

But who says you need only to talk to communicate? 70% of what we "say" to each other is just made up of our body language.

Thanks, thanks, thanks for this. Most people just assume stuff about language barriers that...really isn't like that. As long as you got some knowledge about a language there ARE no language barriers in relationships.
And I fully agree with the first post as well.

Amen to this. :D

God yes. I mean seriously. The past 12 years of her life have been almost entirely dedicated to her fans. Every few months she gives us something new - a single, an album, something, and she has to put her personal life on the back burner for that. And the clincher is, she never, ever had to. As far as money, she was probably set after I am... or RAINBOW. Same for notoriety and fame. She didn't need to keep going for 12 years but she knew her music was important in the lives of her fans.

Now, after all that time, she's making a huge move for her own life, and in the pursuit of her own happiness. She needs that more than she needs to please her fans right now, because she's already given so much. She deserves it, completely.

So really. It's time that fans just back off, stop pushing her and judging her and acting spoiled and needy. Ayu has poured her soul out to the world for over a decade, now let her have at least this much in exchange, without negativity or backlash.

I agree.

For all we know they could be taking language classes so they can communicate better.

^ +1. :yes

Maybe. I didn't do that with my bf though, we just learned it kinda automatically as the days went by. We'd been IM'ing in english and then we met, but we just 'clicked', though there were a lot of "what?"s and "what did you say?" :laugh

My point is...It's a bs excuse for opposing an engagement. I know that, since I've got personal experience with those so called "barriers".

Well, I'm not saying that you can only talk. But I think that you can only grow to understand one another through body language only after being able to talk through them.

I mean it's not impossible. But I'm just considering with a difference in culture and life styles, the time they knew each other, and communicating through phone/emails, they most likely have no problems with language.

And I hope I'm not feeding gas to the flames by my point in defense of fans' worry. =_+ I've been a fan of Ayu for a long time too and I want her happiness. I just want to point out that fans have feelings for her too so their fears aren't just "having a say in how she finds happiness". They're concern. So, yes. Some can hold their tongue. But the shock will pass and fans can do whatever they want. Everyone knows only her feelings matter.

As long as she's happy thats all that counts, I mean the fans want to make sure she gets a good man to be with. I am a bit dissapointed that he's not Japanese since all that she ever did was sing probably for a Japanese man or for that someone special in her life and if she feels he is the man then he is the man and there is nothing any of us can do about that so yes I do agree it is her life her fans should be happy for her and we all want the best for her. But her last name does not fit I said the same thing with another one of my fave actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar who is now known as Sarah Michelle Prinze it just did not seem right but the man she married is a great guy and I have a feeling that Ayu Schwarts wil not sound right but he may turn out to be a good guy for the fans, and you never know it just might have a ring to it:) So I would like to Congratulate Ayumi and wish her well in her new Married life!

I agree with the thread-starter in this case, and with a lot of what you, Kanzaki88, have said! I agree loads! And also, congratulations to you too!

yup, Ayu doesn't tell us every detail of her life, so it could very well be possible!

Uemarasan, thanks for creating this topic. What you posted are my exact thoughts.
And I gotta ask the ones saying she's pregnant, or that Mannie is looking for her money, or any other such retarded comments, please, do you even know Ayu? She's a smart woman, I really doubt she wouldn't be so careless, and as for Mannie, if she choosed him, she'll have her reasons, and that's what matters, not the time they know each other. Who thinks Mannie has to be liked for the fans is absolutely wrong. It's her personal life and we're noones to question her decisions. And real fans would be happy if she is. Let's trust our idol, ok?
Well, to resume my post, it's their business, and they know what are they doing with their lives, as responsible adults.

I totally agree with you. For me, as her loving fan, I just wish only the best for her, and I'm happy that she's happy right now. It makes me all warm inside that she's found love, and honestly, he seems like a very sweet guy.

But, you know.....

@chocopockymaster
some people have genuine concerns about this news. i don't but you can't expect someone to think so blindly. if the feeling of happiness is the only thing important then anyone can do whatever they want, even sinful things, as long as they are happy but you know that's not right...

you don't know what it's like to be married. someone said it might be a problem in the long run and i tend to agree. don't think about marriages you see on romantic dramas. if this was not your intention, i apologize!
i don't think it is a problem however because ayumi's english is good and she is constantly improving.

Yeah it's a possibility. It is. Congratulations! :)

Can't agree more!

Im not going into anyone's private life thats why I didnt want to comment that subject at all. I just want to say here Im happy she's happy.

I'm sick of people going on about a language barrier. I mean seriously, if that were a problem then they probably wouldn't have made it this far. Ayu took singing lessons in America for goodness sake. Give the girl credit where credits due. Just cos she has an accent and every now and then uses the wrong sentence structure doesn't mean she doesn't understand or can't express herself. Ayu is happy. Trust her judgement and her heart's voice.

Someone is giving her their wing. She wants to fly. Be happy for her and let her reach the sky.

Thank you ^^
The date, my 23rd birthday: 11-11-11

I'm so happy for Ayu, for myself, and I have such high hopes for this year right now :luv2

She's a public figure. Of course there's going to be people with different opinions about her, this includes her love life... I don't understand why so many people are offended because some individuals are either indifferent or not particularly happy for her. Who cares? It's not going to affect Ayu, we all know she's stronger than that. She can deal with the scrutiny. And someone's particular views on her personal life isn't a measure of how "good" or "bad" a fan is, so everyone needs to stop with that nonsense as well.

Thank you.

It probably has to do with me being a huge Michael Jackson fan, that I'm so distrustful. Point is, you need to be careful when you're as wealthy and successful as someone like Ayu. I'm sure people understand that it's her own life and she needs to be allowed to make her own decisions and make her own mistakes. It doesn't mean they're not going to have thoughts or feelings about her personal decisions. Y'all that are happy for her ARE still actively involved in discussing her personal matters, so don't act like everybody with a negative opinion needs to "mind their own business." Please.

i sometimes wonder if people will care so much if ayu is not a big star.would you care so much if she is just a anonymous woman to everyone?i accept her choices and i wish her good luck and hope that she will happy always.

Do fans have the right to have a stake in the happiness of the people they admire, people they do not know in REAL life? Why?

i think it's okay to be concerned for someone. sometimes the opinions of fans or the public can influence a choice of a public figure. but hate and jealousy are different from concern. there's always going to be crazy stans/fans in every fandom. you just gotta deal with it, lol.

but for me, i try to distance myself from their private life and just enjoy their work. sure, i like to keep up with gossip or whatever and poke fun sometimes, but i just remember that idols and stars are human too.

PREACH IT :yes

+++

+1! :yes

Who cares about what we think?
We are just fans, our opinions don't affect her
Is her life not ours

Nothing stops us from having our opinions

^ If you're a true fan, you respect her. You look up to her and wish the best for her. It's only natural that a fan, while having no true impact personally on Ayu's life, feels connected to her and wants what's in her best interests, because you don't want to see her fail.

This is what she has decided is best for her, and this is what she wants to make her happy. As I stated before, fans have taken more than enough of her life away from her, even though she didn't need to give it at all. She gave up her time and work to please those who follow her.

Now, she's doing something for herself. Have the decency to respect that and understand that that is a small favor to ask in return for how strong she's been in order to fulfill all her fans' wishes.

I couldn't agree more with you, Uemarasan.
It may looks rushed but as I said before, you'll never know how love really works. Long relationship doesn't mean real love, most of the times. Nagase and Ayu turns into a brothers alike relationship after so many years. And she focused on her work, until she met Mannie. Maybe he's the perfect match for Ayu :shrug we don't know if they will live together until death or not. I hope they live together with a life full of happiness and love though, but yeah I'm a really romantic girl :D so you know I love daydreaming.

However, I'm really really happy for Ayu ^^ and I think she would be really happy as well, if we (japanese and not) fans would support her now.

Just have to say, I completely agree with Kanzaki on the language barrier thing. I know from personal experience, because my uncle speaks English and he's learning Japanese because of my aunt, who is from Japan, and she is learning English just fine~ From what I can see, my aunt and Ayu's English are around the same skill level, so I see no difference. My aunt and uncle are perfectly happy together, why can't Ayu and Mannie be?

Language thing aside, I really agree with the first post. Completely. This is Ayu's life, she can live and love however she wants to. If this was a mistake, then it was her mistake, she will learn from it, and she will grow as a person from it. She's already proven that she is a mentally strong person~ Chances are though, that it wasn't a mistake, and she will live happily, the way we should all wish for her. Either way we should support her not only as her fans, but as people who actually care about her :)

Thank you, everyone, for your comments so far! Kanzaki, congratulations!

The point of this thread wasn't to close the discussion on the indifference or negativity towards the announcement. I simply wanted to open the discussion on why do fans care so much. I personally hope that this marriage works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm more interested in why it seems like fans like to think they know what's best for people they idolize. It's a fair question.

Sure, people can have different opinions about her love life. And people can have opinions on other people's opinions. Fans come in all different shapes and sizes. If someone believes that fans are being hypocritical, then they have the right to call them out on it. How is that nonsense? Personally, I think that people should have a little more faith in people.

There's one difference between Michael Jackson and Ayumi Hamasaki. Ayu isn't a naive man-child. I love Michael Jackson's music, but let's be honest, he wasn't exactly the smartest thing around when it came to trusting people and being in charge of his assets.

And let's be clear about it: what fans of Ayu know about how she has lived her life is only what she chooses to reveal to fans. I believe that there is so much more she doesn't let people know. It's an illusion to think that you know someone intimately when you don't know that person in real life.

Now there's something you don't hear every day :innocent

Her lyrics and non-English interviews betray the childlike nature she plays up for fans :P In my experience, intelligence is something you can't fake. Smart people see right through you. I bet she's a ruthless businesswoman.

THIS. She's free and she's an adult.
If she thinks he's the right one I'm with her. If they're going to stay together forever I'll be happy, if they won't... well, maybe it would be painful for Ayu but it was HER choice for HER own life and when she did it she believed in it. That's all.
And I can see her happy now, and it makes me happy too ^__^

+1

as for me im against this all cuz of how little they really know each other, this doesnt mean what i think will ever matter to her. but seriously if your against it your not a true fan ? WTF

anyways congrants to her and i hope she keeps her personal life, personal so we wont have threads like this :yes

Ya, I totally agree with Uemarasan's opinion~I think being a fan, we can support her work, her songs and her creations, but getting marry is AYU's own decision, she just want to have a life as normal girl, and she must had been thinking a lot before she get married, and i don't think it's our decision to agree who should she get with for the rest of her life, it's her life and her marriage, all we need to do is wish her in happiness, and I am really happy that she found the one in her life~:)

Really, how well you know someone isn't measured by the length of time you've known that person. Sure, time is a factor, but it isn't the end-all and be-all.

If you're against it, you're against it. I'm more interested in knowing why and seeing if the reasons are believable enough. That's more or less what the thread is in a way discussing.

As for me, I'm happy for her because I believe that love should be something to be celebrated. Lord knows how difficult it is to find in a world of pessimists and cynics.

I'm sure no one has an answer to your question though. People feel what they feel, it doesn't necessarily have to make rational sense to you. Just because someone has a negative opinion doesn't make it a "strong" opinion either. I don't think the people here (perhaps a few might be a little loony, lol) really care that much about Ayu's love life or think they know what's best for her. I'm just saying, it's obvious that none of us are in the position to judge, assume, or even care.. but we're still going to anyway.

People have a right to call other people out for being hypocritical, yes. The impression I'm getting from some of the posts in here though are along the lines of "SHAME ON YOU. HOW DARE YOU? YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE" and condescending stuff like that. This is where I'm seeing elements of the typical "GOOD FAN, BAD FAN" kind of labeling and finger-pointing that occurs at this forum all the time.

And finally, I guess the reason why some people might have negative reactions is simply because of different life experiences, different views on love, relationships, communication. I've been in a lot of great relationships, and some really bad ones. I also know what it's like to have instant chemistry with an individual and feel like they are completely on my level within a very short time of knowing them. On the other hand, there's people I have known for years who I still find myself having awkward, meaningless conversations with. The main concern some people have is the language barrier. Of course, that can be worked out because they can both improve their knowledge of the languages. I'm a talkative person and I like to engage in serious discussion, that's what my relationships are built upon. I tend to get very frustrated when people do not understand what I'm saying, and I've never developed any sort of meaningful relationship with somebody who could not communicate English well. From what I've observed of Ayu's English, I honestly do not think she's competent enough in the language (for my standards, at least). If Mannie and her can deal with that, then great! More power to them. Somebody else also brought up that they looked awkward at times in the Making Of's for the PV's - and I agree. That's another reason why I was surprised at the news.

what a multi-faceted issue! lol

I can only say that, even when talking and discussing your life with the people closest to you, there are many times different opinions and different takes on a situation, and people have different things to say, and different advice to give.

I don't really care for people being like "omg I want her to get a divorce"...but what can you do right?

I only hope that everyone respects her wishes and that's all. And just because someone has a possibly negative opinion, doesn't really mean that they don't.

...I'm not gonna lie. Someone getting married after 4 months (if so) is something, personally, I'd advise against lol

I think people have some valid reasons to be "against" the marriage...but then again, no one knows the true relationship between two people except those two people...so...in the end, it's a little difficult to make any reason be so valid that it's grounds to want bad things to happen to them or something...

I'm not really looking for answers. I'm looking for a discussion. And I hope that this thread didn't come across as something close-ended. I do have to say that I am always suspicious of people who do not try to rationalize their feelings. On the other hand, I have my doubts about people who over-rationalize as well.

Both positive and negative opinions are welcome here. My issue is that I simply do not understand why people would express negativity at this announcement. This is what I'm working towards, and as of the moment I remain unconvinced. No one owes me that, of course.

Exactly: there are so many different experiences when it comes to relationships. I'd argue that although communication is important in any relationship, the level of talkativeness doesn't guarantee that you communicate effectively. Some people need a lot of words, such as yourself. Some people don't. Some people need a certain corresponding facility with the language to develop a connection with someone. Some don't. The exchange of words alone does not define a relationship. Mutual understanding is found through several other means.

Personally, I'm surprised by how I put off I am by a constant need to verbally communicate in a relationship. I like silences and I prefer concision, using the most effective amount of words to communicate what you have to say. It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be short. It has to feel right.

Weren't the PVs all shot at the same time? Meaning, at the time when they both first met? I've only seen the Virgin Road making of, but it seems more like cultural differences more than anything. In my experience, and as an overarching generalization, Westerners tend to be very expressive and overly affectionate in a short amount of time when it comes to body language and contact. As Asians, we tend to take our time.

Emiko, thanks. Excellent points, all.

For some reason, the length of time doesn't bother me. Of course, more often than not, it takes time to get to really know someone. But I prefer to view relationships in this way: it's a cliche but it's true, the real work doesn't begin until after the commitment. Maybe for some people that commitment needs the presence of a marriage license, and they know that divorce is an option. How a relationship is is defined by its entire life span and not by what leads to it.

But, at the very least, children aren't in the picture yet.

I think when it comes to idols like Ayu or Utada or someone, their fans and the public in general have this image of them burned into their brains. The 20-something bright eyed fresh faced newcomer who seems perfect and flawless in every which way, who's single and anyone could have a chance with and whose sole purpose is to entertain us. This is the image that everyone sees them as and never want it to change, which is why when something major happens like a marriage or something, its a change in their image and the way people will see her and how she'll act. And People don't like change.

To me its not even the fact that she's marrying manny even though the just met not too long ago. Heck, I believe in impulse decision making, and that sometimes its better to do things on the whim instead of thinking about it. But I still can't believe Ayu is getting married. Because now I'm thinking everything is going to change, that she'll retire now to become a full time wife or go on a long hiatus. It's selfish, I know but, I feel like if she gets married we'll lose our idol because she'll focus more on her own life instead of her career and pleasing her fans like she has been for the last 10 years.

^But Ayu has stated herself that nothing will change. She wants to continue singing and being the same Ayu she has always been. The only difference now is that she has found a lifetime partner.

I agree, but let's face it. The news was kinda shocking! It came from nowhere and thus, it caused some concerns for fans. And people always judge in one way or another.

However, I think we can all agree that we wish for the very best for ayu, although some of us are more negative than positive.

hsienko, good points, also, coming from the other side of the argument. I'd really prefer Ayu to take a break, actually. For the past decade she has already given so much to her fans. Isn't it time that they, I don't know, give something in return by letting her enjoy something other than her career?

Thirteen albums, fifty singles, more than a hundred songs, all those concerts, live performances, photoshoots, calendars, TA messages, Twitter messages. How much more? Will it never be enough? She's only human.

Has it gotten to the point that for Ayu the happiness of her fans is more important than her happiness? Or has the happiness of her fans become her happiness?

I find the remarks people are making expressing their worry over Mannie being after her money not only insulting to Mannie but also to Ayu herself. She's not stupid or naive. If people are truly worried about this, they don't know the first thing about Ayumi Hamasaki.

Also, Westerners tend to be socially contrained to have a long relationship before marriage. Not because they don't love the person, but because that's what's expected. This isn't rushed. This is knowing what you want and getting it. She knows what she wants, and she wants to be with Mannie, and he's obviously beyond crazy about her. It's only sudden for fans, who frankly have no right to be privy to anything in her personal life.

While I think that no one else besides her should have a say in who she marries or not, she is far from being fluent in English. I agree with the rest though.

Coelacanth, when I met Ayu in late November, we had a conversation and her English and comprehension was completely fine. I didn't have to slow down too much to answer her, and she was able to ask questions as well as the next guy. Her ability to read English is capable as well, as she was able to understand perfectly from a note who to make out autographs to. Her English is fluent compared to 70% of the Southern California population. Her accent, however, is horrific, but that does not detract from the fact that her comprehension is very high.

If people really stop being fans because of this good riddance. Who wants such childish moronic fans?

I personally think people are making way to big a deal about the whole marriage thing. We no longer live in a world where marriage is forever and divorce is looked down upon. Ayu and Mannie seem to truly be in love, 4/5 months isn't too short a time. They spent pretty much every day together when Ayu was in LA and they probably talked on the phone for hours every day when she wasn't....sometimes people just click.
I think they didn't waiting because they want to show the commitment they have made to eachother. They obviously see their futures together, and if it doesn't end up like that, it doesnt tend up like that.

I've seen some comments about how this isn't like Ayu...I disagree. She can be pretty unorthodox and we know she likes to live in the now. As a lot of other people has said, Ayu is a smart woman and I don't think she is all that trusting of people in general and she chooses her personal relationships wisely. Considering that, the fact this happened fairly quickly shows how much she trusts Mannie.

This post is all over the place but point is: Ayu is smart and will live how she wants, as she has always done, despite what other people say. Let her be happy, she absoloutely deserves it.

Some Ayu's fans are hilarious !

No one have the right to be against that wedding, nor the right to claim Mannie wants Ayu's money as it was a fact and dunno what else as BS. Ayumi is the property of no one, and even less the property of her fans ! She is her own property ! Keep this in mind !

She got married quickly and so what ? He is not japanese, she is not english native ? So what ? They know each others since less than a year and so what ? Plus we don't know for SURE since when they know each others so stop with Virgin Road fact !

It is the concern of none of her fans ! Not even if you are here since her debut ! You have nothing to decide for her, you don't even have the right to ! You don't want to be a fan anymore ? Good, leave, she doesn't need childish people behind her a$$ .
You are angry, upset ? But damn it, ask the question to yourself : why ? I'm sure the answer is the most stupid of the year !

I known fans can be stupid but that selfish .... it's just disgusting ! Some of hers fans are so selfish that I'm shocked, much more than the wedding announce !

What I find the most shocking through the cons is that they take Ayumi for a dumba$$ unable to know what is right for her, to be blind, stupid and dunno what else ! You are so insulting to your supposed favorite singer that yes, you are hilarious ! You forgot that Ayumi is not there for you and only for you, she can think to hers own life without caring about yours opinion, that's how it works ! I suppose that some felt betrayed but it has always been like this, you just forgot it !

She looks very happy, she found love ? Then I am truly happy for her because right now it is rather hard to find love or happiness but at last one of us found it !

....mmm.... the news were shocking, yes...I'm still kinda wondering if she's serious (hello???she's just got married! xD) and even if I might think it's kinda fast and stuff, there's no reason to think that they totally don't know each other, or know nothing at all..It's impossible to get to know a person in 3 months as well as you can not know them for your whole life, and sometimes if you meet someone similar to yourself you just see through them, and understand them as well as yourself plus you can't just say that because they got married so quickly they will end up divorcing it's just ridiculous... none knows that, and we shouldn't go calling for that in near future, instead wish for long and happy marriage!

We do have a right to like it or not because we all also do have some sort of feeling for her, but we have NO rights to judge her decissions because what you hadn't experienced yourself you can't understand. And respecting her is the thing fans should do.

Most important is as lots of you have already said she's a grown up woman, she's smart, moreover neither her life or she herself belong to us, she has a right to live and learn, to get hurt and be happy, to smile and cry, and our duty is to support her during those moments and to smile with her when she's smiling ;)

:yes

all I said that our opinions don't matter but it wont stop us from having our opinions

I'm not happy about the wedding but I am happy for HER
I don't have to look up to her to be a "true fan",
I love her music and that's all that matters.
I'm not going to idolize her in every move she makes.

So what if I disagree with things that she does, who really cares? No one.
My opinion doesn't affect her in anyway I still love her music

this quote "she's a smart woman" just drives me nuts. do you know what love can do to a person? go and read some classical literature if don't agree or feel offended

opinions are opinions. people are different. as fans, we accept her choice and are happy for her. as individuals, some like her choice, some, like me, don't. I think it's normal

it anyway won't affect HER choice and she will do what SHE wants because it's HER life

I look at her husband and have a bad feeling about him, without knowing him. I look at him and don't like him. what's bad in this? what's unusual about me having my own opinion...huh

so according to your logic if I say this, I'm a bad fan. sorry I'm not screaming "yatta" all the way around

and some people are like that too. you jump to conclusion and say that fans offend, disrespect and much more. I mean, wtf? just expressing opinion

if I don't like him I can't write "He's amazing, smart and suitable".

^Because it's not okay to just look at a person (who doesn't even look like anything out of the ordinary btw) and just decide who he is.

I feel like when I was in high school, and I had this super religious friend, who thought she could tell who was a virgin or not, just by the way their skin looked.

She would be all like 'oh no she looks like she has "touched skin"'.

Yeah. That's how freaking ridiculous you sound right now.

But the thing is, you haven't even taken the time to find out who he is, look up anything about him or his career (obviously since you didn't know what his profession is). And you automatically judge him based on his looks...(which he gets paid for).
I'm sorry but your opinion is really ridiculous.

She's already done so much for me, for us. For once, we need to leave her be and let her live her life the way she wants. She's married. It's done. We fans can't do anything about it except congratulate her, wish her luck, happiness, and togetherness. That's all we can do. That's all we SHOULD do, even if we have doubts and worries (since I'm pretty sure she does know what she's getting into and knows all the risks and repercussions of said risks).

Classical literature is just that: literature. Sure, a lot of it makes excellent points about love, but it's not the be all and end all of how to love. I wouldn't use classical literature as a reference point of which steps I should take to ensure a stable relationship.

Even if she is in that euphoric stage of a relationship, she's had plenty of experience to know what's best for her at the moment. If that means getting married after allegedly 4 months, so be it.

A couple of other people have pointed out your other fallacy of judging Mannie by his looks without even bothering to further research him, so I won't touch on that.

I'm really, really happy for her, even if I personally think it's rushed to marry after 4 months. But I wish both of them all the best, lots of great and happy times together!

By the way we as fans can't claim judging Mannie, cause we don't know him, don't know his character etc. Ayu is the one to make the decision, it's her life and I'm sure Mannie is a good guy even with his flaws.
Love searches strange ways sometimes and nobody knows the future, so let's support Ayu enjoying her happy days right know.

well, just because of what love can do, you can't say she's stupid, can you? :innocent :mischief she proved so many times that she's mature and has a head on her shoulders, plus books are books, some of them are supposed to be crazy and abnormal.

What I was trying to say is that even if she does mistakes, even if this step is one of them, let her be, she's SMART enough to later learn from it and don't repeat that again. As I already said on some other thread if it was fated for her to get hurt, she will and all the people in the world won't be able to stop it.

None of us are forced to like Mannie nor to like her decision, but at least we all should learn to express our opinion in a civilized and polite way and at least, if you're not happy about what she did, and with who she is, then at least try to be happy that she's happy.

I can't say I totally love Mannie and think he's super awesome and supper cool. I can admit to that he's not my type here, BUT, he doesn't have to be MY type, right? it was Ayu who decided to chose this way, not us, and we shouldn't judge him without even trying to understand WHY, or what she liked about him that much. Some of the fans are instantly jumping to conclusions and making judgments without even trying to get to know the reasons. Besides when you think about it..Who's actually in a rush to make a decision here, Ayu or some of her fans?

And again you can never understand someone's actions unless you got yourself in the same situation. In this case we all should think about being in Ayu's shoes, being a super popular persona in Japan who's life is like under a microscope and preasure from fans in teh country :yes

Yeah, I think just the same. I hate that when some of Ayu's fans act like spoiled brats. I'm honestly so happy for them. When I heard about the marriage, I was so happy I couldn't do anything but smile the whole day.
I don't know about you, but for me, I love to see Ayu happy. Give her the change to rest and enjoy her happiness. That's the best thing I know.

And besides, why someone here are so worried? Ayu has said herself, that she isn't going to end her career.
I mean, Ayu is not some pretty object you can handle just like you want. She's person.
And her fans aren't Ayumi Hamasaki. So please, stop acting like every deciosion Ayu makes that don't suit your personal tastes shouldn't suit for Ayu either.

Oh my. Let's not bring classical literature into the discussion. I mean, literature is an artistic construction of reality. Really, you don't want to open that can of worms.

There's a difference between being smart and being smart about love and relationships, and I think most people were referring to Ayu being the latter. Sure, love makes fools out of the most intelligent, but I think people here just hope that Ayu is smart enough not to be that naive.

Sure, you are free to have an opinion, and everyone else is free to have an opinion on your opinion. It's an endless, vicious cycle :)

This is such a hilarious story :D "Touched skin"! Who says that in this day and age? Is she channeling the spirit of a Puritan germaphobe?

:laugh Some people just click! What's wrong with that? I'm sorry he's not Tomoya Nagase! :irked In case you've forgotten, they broke up in 2007! You just got to accept the fact that ayu is someone who makes her smile and can let her be herself without regrets! Besides, the old saying goes "You can't judge a book by its cover". I feel like you're basing him on his looks without researching about him! lol So, the next time you want to be a biased, ignorant idiot, do a little research! :D Oh and go read a Jane Austin book if you disagree! :D After all, ayu's old enough to make her own decisions and make her own mistakes! :P

Talking is over rated. :) I'm in a relationship with a Japanese man who speaks no english and somehow we make it work.(In the same amount of time Ayu and Mannie have known each other, we've moved in together^_^) It can definitely be difficult and frustrating but is doable.

^see? another example. love doesn't has a default script. if it works for yourself and your partner, that's all.

u know, for the people hating on Mannie for whatever reasons u have...

don't u think it's reli rude & insulting to, hate on someone's husband when u dun even know him personally? what's worse is this someone is ur so-called idol and blah blah - Ayu!!

like I know Ayumixx here just got married recently.. how would she feel if we told her, "ur husband sucks, we don't like him, cos we just don't."

I'm sorry but, that's just so insensitive to Ayu especially.. imagine how her heart would break if she read all the hate comments here towards her husband!

& most importantly, sorry but none of us here actually knows Mannie personally, so none of us have the right to insult him or call him names and all that. Ayu is the one who knows him, the one who wanted to marry him, so OBVIOUSLY she knows him well enough to her own standard to think, "he's a good person", right??

All I can say that if you don't like ayu's decision and can't respect it, then GTFO. She doesn't need your biased hate. :innocent (My apologize to the supportive fans that had to see it! :()

I agree wholeheartedly with the OP.

I do have a bit of a fear that this will change Ayu (even though she has stated she doesn't intend to change--who knows what the future holds?), and that her music won't be the same, or that she'll take a long break. But that's a selfish fear, and I recognize it as such. Because actually, Ayu deserves a break so badly. And as for changing her attitude (for example, maybe if she's happier overall, she won't write such intense, negative, and EPIC songs)...well...her happiness is far more important that that of the fans.

Ayu is her own person with her own needs...she's not here to serve us. Which seems wildly obvious to me, but some others seem to disagree. Yes, her job is to be a singer and performance artist. But Ayu the person, not Hamasaki Ayumi the product (as she herself would say), does not exist to please us. Anyone who would want her happiness sacrificed for the sake of the music is, to be blunt, a complete ass.

Edit: And yes, thank you waterballoon. This Mannie-hate is so insulting to Ayu herself...

waterballoon, hahahah OMG i was in shock u brought up about me in here bahaha XDD but really..to compare me n ayu is a bad example..hahahaha~~

well anyway, i do understand some people/fans who feel sad, mad, angry, uncomfortable, whatever.. because i think there are people/fans who are still not USED TO this "new" situation..ayu in here is AYUMI HAMASAKI, the JPOP QUEEN, not just some random pop star who is just famous for a year or so whom people might not care at all, so i guess some ppl/fans just need time to digest everything, so just let them be..

so let's trust Ayu and if something bad happen (which i absolutely don't want, never!), then Ayu just has to learn from her mistakes, that's all we can do as of now.. and pray for her happiness :)

Edit: and i'm sure that Ayu must have known that there are some fans not gonna like Mannie or her decision.. she knows her consequences and yet she chose to follow her heart :)

EXACTLY, thank you. Some might argue that danish and swedish are very similar languages, and indeed they are, but not nearly enough to make a swedish man who's never spoken to a dane before understand a danish girl, who's never spoken to a swede before and vice versa. Of course today, I am fluent, but back then I didn't understand a word. But I love him, and loved him then, and there were no barriers, believe me. With a few ups and downs, we've stuck together, and this year we've been together for 5 years.

And don't you think that maybe Mannie can help Ayu to improve her english, so they can understand each other better? And he will probably learn some japanese, even if it's just the basics

Sure, that happens almost automatically. Constant exposure to a language is very effective.

artcika's post is beautiful. I agree with it so much

Since I don't get on here much anymore and a little shocked to see Ayu just got married in Las Vegas to Mannie. I'm very happy to see her making a big step in her life and wish both of them the best.

Only thing I'm having a hard time with, is Ayu's conversational English good enough to communicate with Mannie where they don't have a language barrier to deal with?

Most likely not. I'm sure they can talk about surface issues, but that only takes you so far in a relationship. Relationships last because of fundamental ideals rather than surface things like likes and dislikes. Like others have said, though, it should come in time.

I'm cool with the marriage, but still surprised that it all happened so fast. It's obviously what she wants though, so because we are only her fans, we don't really have the right to pass judgment or cast disapproval on her.

It is Ayu's decision who she marries...its her personal life after all. We fans shouldn't be in her way to make such decisions. If that's what she wants, then I'm happy for her and wish her the best. As a fan of hers, I'm just worried about her if Mannie is really right for her. Of course we don't know Mannie personally...he might be a great guy and truly loves Ayu....but from the fact that they just met not that long ago and they're gonna live separately so far away from each other, makes me think how the marriage will work out. I do hope things will work out for them. I just hope Ayu won't get hurt...but I should trust Ayu's decision. So from now on, I'm not gonna worry about her personal life...and just look forward to the music and goodies Ayu will give us. :D

Edit: If Mannie is the reason for the awesome cdl and Love songs album, then I certainly wish them happiness!!

I learned the basics of english in high school, and then I met a boy that spoke english ONLY and we were together for 3 years. You can rest assured I've been totally fluent in english since then. Yes, I make mistakes sometimes, and I still have issues pronouncing certain words, but I learned the most when I was with him.

I'm sure it'll be something similar for Ayu. :3

Everyone, thanks for contributing to this discussion! It's very much appreciated :) I especially like the stories that people are sharing regarding intercultural relationships! It's a topic that I've always found fascinating. Thank you for the insight into your own personal experiences.

Opinions based on extrasensory looks at the photo and PV's are quite strange, aren't they? Well, only strange though, nothing more.

***
It's normal and productive (lol) to have opinions, to share them once or twice, but it's odd to make wide half-hysterical speculation about person's private life.

I completely agree with you. While I understand that she is a public figure and people always have their opinions about celebrities, a line has to be drawn at some point when it comes to their personal lives. When people start dictating what others should do with their lives and start speaking on things they know nothing about, it's certainly out of line. For me personally, I haven't spoken much about her marriage except that I'm happy for her and as long as she's happy, I'll remain that way. I don't know her or Mannie on a personal level so there's not much else I can say about their relationship. I personally hate when people want an explanation for personal decisions or make bold statements when they have no facts to back them up. People need to know when they're crossing over the fan line into "you need to back up and mind your own business" territory.

Don't say that. I didn't like Love Songs much and now I'm gonna blame him :(

People are selfish. That's not news. :/

It's natural to worry with news like this. To get it so suddenly and knowing that she's marrying someone she's only known for a few months definitely sends off red alerts. However, it doesn't give us the right to control her life. I don't know if any of you noticed but Ayu doesn't give two ***** and a donkey about what anyone thinks. It is something she reflected in her music and her life-style for many years. So people who think if they ***** enough, out of concern or not, she'll suddenly realize "her mistake" and adjust her life to the path you choose reaaaaaaaaaaaally need to grow up and get a life of their own.

Also, the Mannie-hating is obnoxious. This guy was A-okay by fans until he married the Queen and now all of a sudden he's a mooching, lazy, no-good bastard who is only after Ayu's money. He gave NO indication of being a bad person before, even when fans actually met him, so there's no reason to accuse him of being a bad person now. He WORKS, he makes his OWN MONEY, and he LOVES Ayu. So drop it, please~

:popcorn

And first thing I'm thinking is "Whoa, Ayu's a married woman now?" How long have I been out of the loop, LMAO!?

Kind of weird, but having read this discussion, I agree with points both Uemarasan and Coelacanth made. While I agree that we should all have the decency to step back and wish her happiness in her decision, you can't control people's feelings/their gut reactions, however rational or irrational those buggers are.

And this is a forum - a negative opinion is certainly not less valuable than a positive one. Discussion is the key. From a moral standpoint, so long as people are saying things that they believe are right and fair, they have as much right to naysay as they do to yaysay -whatever that means.

Also, while it's very true that so much of our communication is non-verbal, a lot of culture (non-verbal behaviors and thought patterns) is actually embedded in language, strangely enough. I think it definitely depends on the couple and their willingness to see eye-to-eye, but the opportunities for some serious misunderstandings pop up all over the place if people cannot verbally communicate on the same level. From my own experience (not that it speaks for everyone), my parents' relationship has and always will suffer because of this discrepancy. Though my Japanese mother has been speaking English on a functional level of fluency for thirty years, there are certain nuances of English (especially humor) she will NEVER catch onto for how intelligent she is. And this has led to so many misunderstandings and heated conflicts, that I can't help but think it's a little naive to think that love will simply overcome EVERYTHING. I won't be a cynic and say love can't get people through some tough ****, but there's a reason people with more similarities have more harmonious relationships. tl;dr, tmi, etc...


Naturally though, I HOPE that the lady that brought us so many fun, inspiring songs will share many happy years with the man she chose. But as I do not know her personally, I will politely refrain from judging her or Mannie.

If they are to end up getting divorced for any reason it will probably be because of distance. Its one thing to be bf/gf and living in different cities but to be married and live in different counties is another thing. Because we've all seen in before where the couple struggles to make it work and then one of them meets someone and has an affair or seeks a divorce to pursue their relationship with the other person. But I say its better to be married (if you're the marriage type) and not have it work than to not have it and wonder for what never was. Hopefully she'll have a baby, because to me it seems this would be her only shot to have one, as bad as that sounds.

Love you! hahah

but well..I think as foreign fans we see it one way. Japanese fans see it another way.
Im really happy for her of course. Definitely wished there was a wedding ceremony of sorts and Ayu can be in a wedding gown haha but as long as she's happy.

To be honest, the news, well. I'm over it haha. Now I'm just waiting for what new music is coming our way! Afterall, it's her personal life. I'm interested in her career and works :) Lol, i think I sound like I don't bother but well, I did and was very excited for her.

But, if they do get divorced, won't it be hard on the child? They would have to spread them selves across two continents. I lived on the American Base in Yokohama, and witnessed a lot of Japanese women marrying American men, but end up divorcing, for various reasons. Its really hard on the children from what I have seen and the parents too. Most of the time, someone loses out.

yeaaa excited for new music!
i want MORE LOVE SONGS from Ayu!! since she's been working with a lot of tough-relationship type of songs..i want more Romantic love songs.. i wanna how she feels all along the relationship with Mannie through her music :)

Wow, I'm just back from a holiday and what's this? Ayu is married? Dude, this is why I never can leave my computer for a day.

Anyway, I am happy for her, if she thinks Mannie could make her happy, then let it be.
I am just very surprised and a little bit shocked that's all.

I totally agree that we should just be happy for Ayu!!! I'm just slightly concerned that it might have been a rash decision. 4 months is a short time after all but I wish her the best and I will always love her with all my heart :)

That's a bit presumptuous because we don't really know what kind of arrangements they have made regarding their marriage. Maybe they'll make Los Angeles their primary residence, with Ayu heading to Japan to do shows and TV appearances. She can record songs, films PVs, and do photoshoots outside of Japan. Maybe they'll settle down in Tokyo and Mannie will sign up with a modeling agency in Japan. The very nature of their jobs means that distance will be easier to negotiate because they do not have to go to an office everyday. Both of their schedules are very flexible. Mannie can simply take time off to accompany Ayu during her concert tours and he will still have work to return to in Los Angeles. Also, Ayu has enough money so that the financial burden on travel is virtually inconsequential. In fact, she lives outside of Japan several months of the year.

The only time that distance will be an issue is if they decide to have children. But even then there are several educational options that can have a child be as mobile as the parents.

I really don't see how distance could be THAT much of an issue. I mean, they've got two important things right now, Love and Cash. LOL

My 1st boyfriend and I were in long-distance relationship for 2 years and it still worked out, we moved in together and were together for a good while. We didn't break up because of the distance. When two people really love each other, it can work out. Of course, it's not always easy, and certain sacrifices might have to be made, but it's possible :3

We all can just speculate.
Guess they will first both keep their first residence they have right know, but who knows how it will go on?
And I'm sure Mannie will start learning Japanese and Ayu to improve her english. They will never be on the same fluently level like a native speaking couple, but if the love is big enough, they will be able to overcome it.