Ayu in My Life
 

after knowing the fact that ayu's left ear can no longer function, i suddenly realised how much ayu have accompanied me since i became her fan in 2000.

in 2000 Sep. i was still 12 years old. i was shocked to see this Japanese female singer in a leopard outfit on her album cover. in my mind i was like "she is indeed daring and sacrificed a lot". and thats when i started liking ayu.

in 2001, ayu was in her peak. I remembered i was so proud telling everyone that my idol is ayu and telling everyone to watch the PV of evolution which was blasted on TV almost everyday that time.

in 2004, i finally saved enough money to buy ayu's 1st DVD. i was so happy that i finally owned a DVD of ayu and see her perform in a concert. it was A MUSEUM. i treasured it a lot.

in 2004 Dec, i went to Japan for a holiday. my parents bought for me the Japanese version of MY STORY the very day it was released, Dec 15. it meant so much to me to see ayu's MY STORY album everywhere in shopping centres, posters everywhere, songs being played almost every street. i listened to "About You" a lot while i was in Japan cos i simply loved that song. Now, listening to "About You" again still brings back fond memories.

in 2005, ayu released a song "Bold & Delicious". my friends and i will go crazy everywhere singing BOOOOOOOLD AND DELICIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUS. the song pulled me and my friends closer as we spent some crazy time together.

in 2006 Nov - Dec, i just finished A levels and went partying all night. I went clubbing and stayed out. I catch the first train home. It was the time when album "Secret" was released. When i reach home, i will be sure to listen to the new songs i just downloaded. especially "until that Day...". this song meant so much to me as i remembered how i spent my happy days after my A levels.

a week later in 2006 Dec, i got enlisted into the army and i was shut down of all entertainment. Luckily, i was told that i was able to bring in CDs to camp and i blasted the song "Secret" till i sleep. the song "Secret" accompanied me thru my army days as a Recruit.

in 2007 Apr, i was still a trainee serving the nation. i begged my instructors to let me go to Hong Kong. i told them that i need to visit a relative. But i went to ayu's ASIA TOUR. i was so happy in the coliseum. I did not know how to react when i see my idol just 10+ metres away from me in the air singing "evolution". i totally enjoyed the concert and i didnt wanna leave. ASIA TOUR 2007 definitely is a significant event of my life. it's my highlight of the year.

in 2007 Dec, i was so happy that ayu is gonna hold another ASIA TOUR next yr in 2008. i swear that i gonna see ayu LIVE in action again!!

in 2008 Jan, i received the news that ayu is deaf on the left ear.

i sounded as if ayu is dead, but i cant help it but to feel emotional as ayu has accompanied me thru A HELL LOT OF significant events in my life. and now knowing that my idol is not in the pink of health, i duno how to react. i feel so bad seeing ayu struggle to perform when she cant hear on her left ear!! i feel ashamed commenting that ayu has bad vocals when she cant hear properly.

all i can do is to continue support ayu and hope that ayu takes good care of her right ear. Nothing else please.

Well, Ayumi Hamasaki.... she's been a part of my life since 2002. I remember how amazed I was when I saw CM with her on some kind of special CD. And I really liked the music in the background.

Since that time so many different things happend in my life... happy and very, very sad. And all I remember is that Ayu was always there... Her music was always near me...

I believe that Ayu is still going to be with me... till the end of my life becouse I can't imagine any other artist that could replace her in my life. Thank you for this topic.

As for me, she's been a part of me since her YOU single. I LOVED it so much and still is. But Depend on you was the song who made me made up my mind TO COLLECT all her stuff. I WAS proud to be her fans, I AM proud now that I AM her fans and I WILL still love her, WILL ALWAYS BE her loyal fans and WILL ALWAYS support her no matter what her sales is by CONTINUE BUYING her STUFF. I LOVE HER MUSIC, I LOVE HER LYRICS, I LOVE HER no matter what people say about her.

My love towards her is simply becoz she has an AMAZING CHARACTER.

I think us fans are being a little too tragic over this. I believe ayu was already aware of her situation, and we've had previous warnings that her hearing was impaired. She could have lost her vision (which in my opinion, would be much worse) or died, but she is alive. Diseases exist, and even the richest people might not be free from some of them. ayu doesn't need PITY or compassion. As a fan, I respect her and hope she'll be strong even with the hardships she's going to endure with that problem. We should take her example of being strong and be strong ourselves, instead of crying in corners and feeling pity. It could be one of us, there are fans who actually have health impairments, and maybe we might have one of a sort someday, so I hope it will help us to go through such hard situations with our heads lifted.

Your entry was really heartfelt and reminded of myself in many ways. It's quite amazing how she became part of our lives... Beyond just a singer, a celebrity, an idol...

Very soon there'll be lots of NSmen visiting relatives overseas!!

I agree with you

Good point ,I feel the same exact way :yes This is not the end for ayu or any of us !! Crying isnt going to solve anything ,I'm not saying that its stupid to express how you feel, but acting like its the end of her career wont help you or ayu !! Ayu is still planning to do what she does best , SING!! There are soo many other bad things that could have happaned to her that are worst ... and I know her moving on would be a inspiration for people who have the same problem she has.

Hey... I just wanted to share my thoughts on Ayumi. I did not pity her at all

I understand that fans are sad over her problem, but it's not the end of her career, she hasn't quit on you guys. Ayu's always had hearing problems, it's nothing new. I agree with Impact.

True true. In the end she's not the first or the last to suffer health problems. Andrea Bocelli, an Italian singer is blind but he performs in concerts and delivers excellent performances. Other artists like Delta Goodrem suffered from cancer but they still got back onto their musical career after they got better. I think Ayu will be just fine if she is more careful and doesn't strain herself too much.

u all dont understand..

wait till one of ur loved ones get deaf and i will be telling u that crying doesnt solve anything. It's nothing new. You are getting a little tragic here..

When you saw Ayu in the leopard suit you thought she sacrificed alot and was darling??

When I saw it, I was like

Damn. Talk about a Camel toe.

If somebody in my family or a beloved one got deaf from an ear, I'd try to be strong and tell them to be so. I wouldn't go crying and panic and make them feel like they're dead/**** and bury them alive with pity and compassion. That wouldn't solve anything, if not, it would make things worse. I'm not being insensitive but your post has so much nostalgy/tragedy it almost sounds as if you're giving condolecences to ayu's family for her tragic death. People get sick, some suffer more, but serioysly, this could have been a LOT worse, ayu could have died on a plane accident or an earthquake, but fortunately, she's alive, and willing to still do her job.

since u r a mod, delete my thread then. i have said my piece.

:love I love this post, it's very sweet and it's clear Ayu means alot to you. Thank you for sharing your story :thud

don't take it persionally. I'm just postig my opinion, as an initiate and not a mod. It would be ridiculous to use moderation here.
No need to be so sensitive either. Some people are agreeing with you, so can we all agree to disagree?

I know how you feel. You've been a fan for a long time. So have I. It's hard to recerive such bad news on ayu. I guess it hasn't sank in much into me at all yet. I do think we shouldn't be getting too sad because of that. ayu is strong and we should be too. no hard feelings, ok?

you know ,my dad is deaf in his right hear, but I dont ever remember crying instead I helped him move on, by being strong . By the way... he is doing just fine, he still works and everthing, sometimes I forget that he is part deaf anyway....

This is my personal opinion only since everyone deals with things differently, but I think that what you did was admirable. I also don't think that crying and feeling pity would be a good idea. The person would already be feeling sad and seeing people around him/her constantly sad would also dampen his/her moods. I think being positive is a great way since it helps the person move onwards.

Thank you ^^ Besides my dad gets pretty upset and almost mad when he thinks i'm about to cry. So if he saw me crying because of him, that would get him really upset.
I'm so happy that he is doing fine now, I feel even better because I believe I helped him to do so ^^

My friend was like that too. She used to tell us that she didn't want to be with sad people because she wanted to be happy. I think you helped him because I'm a firm believer that a positive attitude always helps.