[babamon]

Rough translation:

If i want to write about this matter, i guess it should be today.
Actually it's very long ago, there was this period when i feel like quitting as a president. During the management meeting, i announced that i will be quitting very soon as well, giving those around me quite a lot of trouble.

Although i used to like fufiling my dreams in life, but whenever i thought of the staffs that had been with me, can i really quit like this myself? This had been troubling me everyday.

In the first place i never wanted to be a president.
But after working so hard, i just somehow gotten this position.
It kept giving me the feeling that it's something against my wish.

What i wanted to do isn't this!
Rebel or whatever. I always think the fault lies in others, or perhaps i'm just finding someone like myself.

Speaking of talents, I think that's what everyone has.
However, it's not something that u can decide yourself, but rather, acknowledged by others.
Getting praised,
helping others out, in reality it is all for my own benefits.
It is then that i realised the true meaning of my talent.

I believe my talents is that i have originality.
I believe so ever since i was young, and had been moving on towards that direction.
However, that direction was a mistake.
Right now, as an operator,
i had been given a fine reputation by others (Of course there are bad ones as well)
earning money, (There are times i couldn't earn any)
expectations by others (I could only think of it this way)
Overall, i can only say, i guess this is wat makes up my talent.
So as long as there's anyone that expect something out of me, i will be determined and move forward on that road.

Recently, I had been chatting with my staffs regarding some other colleagues of mine.
"Isn't it very impressive, the earnings he had made from all those he had done, even if he stops working he will not have to worry about his life in the future"
"Isn't president like this too?"
"......"
Yeah, i hasn't noticed in the past, that even if i stop working now i will not have any problems with my living in the future.
But i had never think of how life would be like if i stop working for years.

However, after i met Ayumi Hamasaki, the thoughts of quitting had never cross my mind again.

When i first get to know her, it was during those times when i was about to announce quitting.
It was during her TOP STAR moment, climbing to the top.
Guess it was due to some bad encounters that she escaped to where i was at that time.
Ever since then, we had been living together, sharing our feelings and thoughts.
Not long later, she brought some of the staffs over to my house that has to confirm her costumes, sound and visual problems.

Looking at her,
giving them different instructions,
even those backstage work which artistes wouldn't get to see, she has to inspect them.
Quite often, she even needs to amend those wordings that are written in an unclear manner
I was so amazed with her precise observation and imagination
Day and night, a huge amount of workload is always waiting for her.
And what i saw, is the utmost professionalism and diligence an artiste could give.

Her determination, sensitivity and of course her lovely features,
has seriously touched my heart and soul.
As compared to any other things, the attitude of this genius got me deeply attracted to it.

In order to live together with this person, i must achieve this as well.

No. Instead, i should be the role model of this person since i'm much older.

I must do more work than this person, because in order to discuss matter with her, it got to be people like Madonna, Matsutoya Yumi, Seiko Matsuda etc.

After much consideration,
I can't lose in work, thanks to her.
Therefore in the end i became pretty hardworking

Of course, this isn't just because of her.
There had been others who encouraged me, and supported me to move forward as well..

However, she's still the most special one to me.
I'm so thankful that i had met her.
Thank god.
If we didn't, i guess we will be so different from each other now.
I always feel that whenever you are working out there,
There will be times when you are glad, but at the same time painful, that you surpassed others.

Always trying your best to fufil the expectations of others, I respect you.
Ganbatte! The songstress of Asia!

After performing at Kouhaku still have to rush before CDL starts.
No matter when it is always this anxious, actually it's quite pitiful.

The reason i wrote this long is because of the news today.
The message that was intended for her fans only, had became the news for the media. It's pretty frightening.
Even if you remain depress it's not going to help.
She will quickly go for training, and is determined to show everyone when she had overcome it.
I'm not trying to explain anything here, just being a busybody.

OMG THIS IS THE HARDEST TRANSLATION I HAVE DONE EVER -_- Sorry if i made some mistakes here and there. I tried my best..