Hehe.~ ^^ I don't know if I can find all the errors back 'cause I'd need to read the whole thing lol but from the top of my head:
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Scenes like grabbing someone or making someone fell is prohibited.
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"fell" -- do you mean "fall", or something else? 'Cause I think fell also means torture or something?
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And my organ are popping out!
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What? XDD "organ" as in "organs" -- the stuff inside of you? If it really is organs, then it should be with an s because of "are". You can't say a multiple-word and then "are". Like "tables are", is good. But "table are" is wrong. I still think that organs is kind of a strange word lol. Shouldn't it be heart or something? XD
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There’s an equipment is broken.
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Well I understand this sentance of course, but it should be "There is an equipment broken." or "There's an equipment broken". Because right now it says "There is an equipment is broken".
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Peco : I can't wait to say it, I want to say “cancel the “tissue” and replaced by the ring performance”
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Should be: "Peco : I can't wait to say it, I want to say “cancel the “tissue” and replace it with the ring performance”". OR "Peco : I can't wait to say it, I want to say “cancel the “tissue” and have it replaced by the ring performance”.
Also, "tissue" is a rather odd word lol. Tissue can mean like the little paper that you use to blow your nose, or tissue as in skin from an animal. Replacing it with "ribbon" would be better, IMO.
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Princess : douzo yoroshiku
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That's... Japanese. o_O Or is it a name? Shouldn't that be translated lol.
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Be careful the light! Take the upper part!
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"Be careful the light" = "Be careful of the light"? Or "Be careful with the light"? "of the light" if the light is dangerous, and "with the light" if someone has to be careful not to break the light or something.~
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And don’t too “imagination” style rather to “attractive” to sing will be better?
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I don't get this sentance...At all. ;-; I think there is a verb missing or something... Because I don't understand it, I can't fix it, but IMO it would sound better like this or something: "And wouldn't it be better to sing an "imagination" style song, rather than an "attractive" song?". That would mean that an imagination style song is better than an attractive style song. But I don't know if she says that an attractive song is better than an imagination song, or the other way around. I also don't understand what she means with attractive/imagination style lol.
I still think you did an awesome job though!!!
