[Solarblade]

So it seems that HIMEKA had a breakdown on her blog.....seems like it's a possibility that Hatenake Michi could be up for cancellation

I’m the world’s trash.

It’s strange that the empty me has been able to stand up. I’m the only one who knows it, though.
But no matter how much effort I put into it, it’s impossible. I can’t keep up with the pace like other people can.

Not just singing activities… even as a human, as a women, I can’t do anything at all.

Even waking up, sleeping… the same bad dream continues.

My brain has already, a long time ago, been being eaten by a weird bug… but recently I want to smash the brain that is left. It’s already no good. Already no good. Someone please kill this brain.

When I sleep, in my dream I’m told, “You’re already over. You’re not our problem.” And then I’m also told, “You’re ugly. You’ve become a real old lady.” Thinking about myself, the hatred directed toward myself, is said by other people in my dream. I’m already tired.

My songs, Japanese, face, body, head, everything is no good. I don’t have any charm.
It seems like I live in a completely different world than everyone else.

I only… before I die, I wanted to be useful to someone. For the sake of weak people like myself I only wanted to give courage and hopes.

It’s painful that I can’t even really do this (little bit).

It’s also painful that everyone always looks at me with pitying eyes.

No matter how much I push myself to do my best, the idiot me just can’t catch up.

Every day I think “I’ll update my blog” but because I’m empty.. it’s really hard to update. So every time I try to think deeply of something interesting. But, everyday I can’t find anything interesting.
This sadness is definitely retribution for my weakness.

Living is really a painful thing.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

creds to acorin from JPM for translating......oh yeah seems like her blog was taken down as well in this happening.