OK this should be fun.
1. Fan: "Hello Ayu! Please come to (foreign country)!"
AU Ayu's response: I no speak your silly language. Japanese ONRY!
2. Yochan: "Ayu, I've decided to retire and become a clown for children's birthday parties."
AU Ayu's response: ...OK Yo...chan...have a nice life without my money to support you!
3. Shuya: "OMG PINO AND PAPIKO JUMPED OFF THE STAGE!"
AU Ayu's response: *stares at the floor* Maybe they died? Oh well, less of my millions to spend on dog food.
4. ZIN's monkey: "Ayu, will you marry me?"
AU Ayu's response: Um...yea right. You think anyone could ever be good enough for THIS?! *Ayu points to herself*
5. Normal Ayu: "Yaaaay time to go get my nails done!!"
AU Ayu's response: Seriously...I think I can do without my fingers.
6. Ayu Hater: "Ayumi Hamasucki you suck omg."
AU Ayu's response: Your not the one making the millions honey, no wonder you hate me...I mean, LOOK AT ME!
7. Max: "Ayu, you're fired!"
AU Ayu's response: Um, I don't think so MAX...YOU ARE FIRED! *boots Max off of avex property, avex then changes its name to ayutrax.
8. You (the member):Ayu you are a very kind and beautiful person (choose your own ^^)
AU Ayu's response: I know right? *bats her eyelashes* Now buy my new album or you will suffer.