1. Fan: "Hello Ayu! Please come to (foreign country)!"
AU Ayu's response: Stop asking me to come to your STUPID hovel of a country!!!!
2. Yochan: "Ayu, I've decided to retire and become a clown for children's birthday parties."
AU Ayu's response: Birthday parties?? Surely you mean Halloween?
3. Shuya: "OMG PINO AND PAPIKO JUMPED OFF THE STAGE!"
AU Ayu's response: Your point? If you're so worried get them yourself! *pushes Shuya off the stage*
4. ZIN's monkey: "Ayu, will you marry me?"
AU Ayu's response: No. *Shoots monkey with a shotgun*
5. Normal Ayu: "Yaaaay time to go get my nails done!!"
AU Ayu's response: *Bites nails*
6. Ayu Hater: "Ayumi Hamasucki you suck omg."
AU Ayu's response: Like omg, your face sucks. Stan, this freak is breathing the same air as me. Remove him/her!
7. Max: "Ayu, you're fired!"
AU Ayu's response: Yeah don't think so. Are we done now? OK laters.
8. You (the member): Will you ever come back to London?
AU Ayu's response: Come BACK??? Don't make me laugh! All you horrible little creeps wouldn't give me a break. "Ayu Ayu sign this, sign that. Take a picture! Blah blah blah!". You're lucky I didn't get Stan to show you all a lesson. Now, don't forget to buy my next CD. There's a good little fan.
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