1. Fan: "Hello Ayu! Please come to the U.S!"
AU Ayu's response: F&$@ the US! I went there so many times already! Where were you then? Leave me alone.
2. Yochan: "Ayu, I've decided to retire and become a clown for children's birthday parties."
AU Ayu's response: I thought you already did that?
3. Shuya: "OMG PINO AND PAPIKO JUMPED OFF THE STAGE!"
AU Ayu's response: That's nice. *pushes Shuya off the stage* That's what you get for going gay... I had such a high hopes for you...
4. ZIN's monkey: "Ayu, will you marry me?"
AU Ayu's response: Of course I will! Then we can have lots and lots of mini Ayu monkeys.
5. Normal Ayu: "Yaaaay time to go get my nails done!!"
AU Ayu's response: Your nails? How about you get your F&$@ing hair done. And take a shower while your at it. You stank woman!
6. Ayu Hater: "Ayumi Hamasucki you suck omg."
AU Ayu's response: Suck what?
7. Max: "Ayu, you're fired!"
AU Ayu's response: *calls stan-chan* kill him! And bury him somewhere where no one will find him. I'll take over Avex from today on. Feel my wrath Avex!!! >
8. You (the member): Ayu!!! Will you adopt me?
AU Ayu's response: Suureee. I'll adopt you... as my dog. Hehe.