[primavera♥]

Although I've often been told by directors and such I should, I don't intend to take music as a profession. However its a passion

I play euphonium/baritone (whatever u wanna call it) in concert band. This summer I learn trombone. I used to play trumpet. I very much love brass
So I've always done concert band at my middle school where we took trips and I got solos. I do get very nervous
now I do high school concert band which is myu elective choice instead of IB Music Theory
I prefer band stuff. Not solo things

My problem is with auditions. I've done All County Band since 7th grade. But each year I never get used to being judged by people when its just me byself
But I've made it every year with either first, second, or third chair
Its All State that kills me. I can't hurt. I've just never had the guts to do it. And I'm in trouble right now because I still refused and my mom was trying to force me
Even if everyone has confidence in me I can't do it

And then there's solo ensemble that I HAVE to do again as a course requirement. Its just me and a piano accompanying.
And just that one judge is terror to me. I got Superior last time. But I wanted to vomit while I was in there

On the occasions where I do an audience its just horrid. I don't like solos. I just don't. And nothing helps.
All I need is to be under scrutiny of one person to make me nervous

But I think if u focus. Just really focus some of that nervous energy into deep concentration then you will do extremely well. The one time I wasn't nervous and didn't care I did my worst.
So I think its somewhat a good thing. Either way its worth it in the end.
But hey I'm a high school sophomore. Idk if I can help much. But that's what I think. Just focus

Lol sorry to tell my whole life story.