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Here are some of my semirandom thoughts/a summary of what is in fact a 4-year documentary rather than an interview.
If there are contradictions it's because things changed (a lot) during that period of time.
The Interview
-The meaning of, and reason for, the interview has changed. Originally it was intended as an goodbye autobiography or obiturary for her career.
-Has been continuing for years; only now does did she feel she was ready for it to be shown.
-It was unneccesary to release this to further her career. Suggests to me she wanted to release it as a kind of therapy.
The ear problem
-The loss of hearing/pain was a real shock. She'd never previously experienced any kind of loss or defeat since beginning her career (the previous one, her grandma dying, happened immediatly before her debut). Up till then, she had felt nearly invincible.
-ABest album songs all had new vocals. This was because she wanted to to prove to herself she still "had it" vocally after the poor Concert performances.
Work
-Sees herself very much as part of Avex, as if she IS Avex in fact. Feels responsibility for the employees.
-Although straightforward to understand before, the Dearest PV has taken on new significance.
-Unbeliveable she didn't cancel Dome Tour - ear problem, injuring herself just hours before etc. Again, makes you see it differently when watching it.
Personal life
-Hides & actively avoids talking about personal life. No mention of boyfriend or friends, nothing really said about the absent father, and only some recollection of grandmother included.
-In fact, you get the impression that maybe there isn't a personal life to hide.
Fukoka (revisits her childhood home town)
-Note until just 2 months ago, this part was not intended to be included. Didn't want her past to be shown at all before then. Why? wasn't excessively unhappy duiring childhood according to previews bios, so maybe they were wrong.
-Seems genuine at Fukoka, not rehearsed, IS seeing things for 1st time in years.
-To a certain extent was a lowering of the guard re: controlling her image which is significant considering this is Ayu, the one who tries to controls everything.
-Right at the end of the interview when you see her smiling away, I did however wonder how much was for the camera and whether the entire 45 mins were choreographed, but overall I don't feel too much was stagemanaged.
2004 and the future
-The last 3 months have been critical (so is she still volatile?).
-She has turned a corner and this release shows confidence that she's now OK.
-Living a lie to herself in past. Has that now stopped, or not? Can someone in such a position ever NOT be that way?
-New maturity. Has had time to think about herself. Previously release after release meant she didn't have time to do that...but having said that there hasn't been much of a let-up in her releases during the last year.
-This could all still have been a career move: wants to be seen as a mature person instead of an icon now.
Overall, it does at the least remind us (though not neccesarily show us) she's a human being, even if it is an exceptional life she leads.
Essential watching for all Ayu fans to understand her situation a little better.
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