|
When you look at Ayumi Hamasaki, do you see Ayu, the human being, or do you see Ayumi Hamasaki the Entertainer? Is there a grey area?
I believe there is a grey area. I'm unsure where I lie now though. I used to view Ayu as a human, and I praised her for being so humane and down to earth in her music and image. I thought this was unique to her. But it isn't. I think I see her more as an entertainer now, but I don't expect her to do everything to please her fans. But that said - I do feel that there needs to be some recognition that if you don't please the fans, you don't have fans. And what is "Ayumi Hamasaki" without fans? Ayumi Hamasaki isn't a brand, an entertainer, or a person able to share her views and feelings any more.
I think the best way to put it is... she puts a lot of her person into her music, but we never see anything but that aspect of her, because she's never really been or done anything else. She doesn't have anything else to show us without it crossing over into us knowing EVERYTHING about her life, and that's not right.
How do you think that affects what you want from what she does? What do you want from her?
The only expectation I have from Ayu now is "good" songs I can enjoy. No more than I expect from anybody I listen too. I guess because I used to see her as my best friend or someone I needed - I used to expect music that I could relate to and be moved by. I don't expect that any more, partly because I just see her as making music and whether I feel moved or not is up to me, not her. This is mixed with her taking her music in directions that don't fit with my musical taste.
The focus on being "moved" comes from the fact that Ayu was the first artist to get that reaction from me.
I guess... I view her older eras as superior because I could take all the material and find the songs I loved and the treasures. They were there for me to explore and I could ignore all the songs I disliked because the magic ones were there. When waiting for that next magic song from her I have to wait for her to release all these "disappointing" songs until she hits that magic for me again.
Do you think that being so close to Ayu with social media affects your view of her?
Oh yes, 100%. Negatively too. Part of Ayu's charm was this mix of being so mysterious but having lyrics that were so easy to relate too. Now she isn't so mysterious and I don't relate as much.
It's like... I don't know. I cried my eyes out when I met her. I cried for weeks. I'd pretty much accepted I'd never get to see her live, but to meet her in my country?! Why did I want to meet her? I thanked her for her music and the support it had given me. After those weeks in London she got Twitter and was closer to her fanbase than ever.
And Ayu wasn't who I'd built her up to be in my mind I guess. We were able to see her reactions so much more than before, and I guess I just disagreed with her a lot on a personal level - like you disagree with a friend or acquaintance. I'd disagreed with her before, but Twitter took it to a whole new level.
How do you feel about the way other people see Ayu?
I don't really care what people think, but I do care about how they express it. Honestly, it put me off integrating into the Ayu fandom. Look at my join date and my post count (I did a looot of lurking).
I guess in the Ayu fandom the extremes really really overshadow the middle ground. Those who love something get viewed as stans who love everything she puts out and should stop following her and go outside. Those who dislike something are told they should stop wanting her to go back to her peak days because she's evolved and they should get over it/not listen. Even outside the Ayu fandom, this is how onlookers look in.
I like that people view her differently, I think that's what makes her interesting and entertaining. I like to see why someone views her the way they do, or why they dislike something, and I think at times that's lacking a lot in the Ayu fandom. It's also what makes the fandom so volatile though, all these different views and perspectives.
Are you a little pig-headed about your opinions?
Oh yeah, but that's not exclusive to Ayu. It's just the way I am. I sometimes push views I don't even agree with just to get people to think or just because I want something to talk about. I'm not pig headed in a "I LOVE IT WHY DON'T YOU?" sense, I'm more of a "I hate it, why do you love it, please explain to me~" kind of sense and then debating why I agree/disagree.
I usually refrain from posting my opinions as I come across as more aggressive than I intend too. I wouldn't have bothered with this if I hadn't felt so strongly about all the issues a-nation brought up and shared my views more than I usually do. I mean, I very rarely post anyway, so why would anyone care what I think?
As sort of a note, reading the posts above. Why am I here? I used to lurk here to follow Ayu, now it's that and that this place is surprisingly convenient for non-Ayu news also. I think I participate in Ayu discussions because I'm sort of in a state of... I still care, but not as much as I used too. I never posted when I adored her, and I joined here late into that, and if I did post when I did... I may have come across as deluded, and I was aware of that so never bothered. Or is that I just enjoy posting criticism of her more than praise? I am a very pessimistic person haha
longest post ever. I could write an essay on ~how I feel about Ayu~
|