The second one sounds better and conveys the (supposed) meaning better in english. A full translation of a song isn't about translating each and every word correctly, but rather conveying the meaning in a way so that the intended readers of the translation can have the same experience more or less to the extent possible that a person reading the original text gets. A translator always has to make certain choices when translating a full text and there's really no such thing as very precise translation of a piece of poetry unless the languages in question share very close cultural and historical bonds and the languages are pretty similar as well. This is certainly not the case with japanese and english.
Last edited by *Petit*; 9th January 2012 at 04:57 PM.
|