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I guess the hardest part is acceptance. I mean, I still look forward to Ayu's music, but I have come to realize why it's so heartbreaking when it's not exactly what I expect or am hoping for. There was a time, when Ayu's music was the best out there. Very little compared to the material she released, in my mind. No matter what genre I'd compare it to, looking back, it just felt like the music she was releasing at the peak of my fandom was absolutely perfect. Outstanding. It felt like her music was so damn unique and somehow felt like it was made just for me and my tastes. Now-a-days, it's hit and miss. Most of the time I'd rather be listening to trance (and I have always been an EDM fam since I was a child).
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