[Zeke.]

It's a mixture of different things. Of course there's the fact that material has changed. Every now and then there is something that screams that classic Hamasaki aura but more often than not lately it has been a slew of tracks that, when it comes down to it, I wouldn't miss if they were never released to begin with. For example, if I were in an alternate universe and got to hear clips of the majority of her songs from recent eras that "could have been" (songs that actually ARE existing in THIS universe), I wouldn't feel sad over many of them.

There is a study in which I read lately when researching materials for a research paper. My chosen topic was trance music but it broadened out to power of music and its effects, user experiences, etc. One interesting study was about how there is a part in the brain which is constantly making guestimations or expectations of music as you listen to it. This part of the brain which is interpreting new music as you listen to it, compares it to stored "templates" of music you have enjoyed in the past in another part of the brain. When your brains expectations are met or exceeded, the first area releases dopamine into the brain - and when this area compares the new piece of material you are listening to to the stored "templates" of which your brain has found pleasure in the past, the dopamine levels will fire off more intensely. But, if the new material is too "out there" compared to past experiences that have shaped your brains preferences, then you won't feel that "rush".

What I'm trying to say is, for a long time Ayu's music had this CRAZY effect on my brain. It was immensely powerful, and I have no doubt now after reading these scientific discoveries that the amount of dopamine my brain produced during the height of my love of her works (my favorite songs) just cannot be rivaled. After having that kind of experience, such INTENSE feelings of disbelief at how my expectations were continually exceeded, such an intensity will never return because the part of my brain which creates expectations and the part of my brain which holds onto those templates are filled with moments like those... even when lowering my expectations consciously, subconsciously my brain is a slave to those peaks in pleasure I had during the best moments in her music for me.

If she changes too much then the part of my brain that stores enjoyable templates is not satisfied. If she doesn't change much but does not exceed or at least live up to past attempts at a similar sound, then the dopamine will not fire off and disappointment ensues.

I once had this theory come to me when I was "medicated" and my mind was blown - that the reason my passion for her music was dwindling was because the rush I felt during my first years of fandom were SO INTENSE that it was virtually impossible to live up to that rush. Now that science has actually explained this as a possibility I am truly baffled by it!