[Surreal17]

Lyrics/Themes

GUILTY is Ayumi’s most aggressive album to date. From the cicle of darkest albums such as Duty, GUILTY and Party Queen , this album marks the beggining of a new era in her discography. From this point on, she starts to make use of a more stern timber.

Mirror – the most explosive song from the entire album. Ayu questions the current state of herself and the world as she is repeatedly asking if our present is as good as we had expected. She used “future” in the sense of “present” to create a certain distance and coldness and this practically is the introduction of the era. A dissatisfaction with what we truly see in the mirror because the reflection has not taken the ideal shape of our wishes. The military beats are amplifying the great tension and confusion preparing us for whats to come.

(don’t) Leave me alone continues the theme of the dissatisfaction. If the discontention in Mirror was kinda vague, here, ayu’s taking a defensive side towards the fake system. Also, she’s showing two facets : the rebellious one and the fragile one (even if she wants to cure her wounds alone, she can’t stand total loneliness).

Talkin’ 2 myself (my favourite lyrics from the album)
Talkin’ 2 myself is in the same vein as rollin’ (also Last angel & Letter). Ayu is bringing awareness, putting forward a monologue, also used as a healing process. She's giving a 'wake up' signal to the younger generation saying that depending of their actions, they may pay some consequences. About the 'overflowing information' that she’s mentioning, she admits that we all have free will, so nobody except for ourselves is forcing us to do it (drugs, alcoholism, porn, becoming depressed etc.). She’s also saying that sometimes we first have to make mistakes in order to evolve (“That destruction/ Gives birth to creation “). In the end, we are responsable for whats to come, so don’t blame others for your misfortune.

Decision is talking about people's resolutions. A decision taken at a crossroad point may change one’s life forever. Ayu’s not questioning her decisions, the fact that she chose the singing road. Morevover, she’s proud of what she has became. She’s also had hard moments (“A strong head wind blows / The cold soaks into my skin “) but she managed to overcome the crisis (“My frozen hands now / Reach straight out to the other side”) . This song serves as introduction for Guilty regarding her hearing loss.

GUILTY shows a very fragile part of human nature. The feeling of culpe for letting people down and the fear that everything may end in an instant. I'm pretty sure that this song deals with her left hearing loss. Being the title track of the album, we are left with an apocalyptical painting that sees no light at the end of the tunnel. Pretty depressing and a bit scary - but this is surely the summary of Ayumi's 2007.

Fated – the first love song from GUILTY. A beautiful description of love that at the end could not be fullfilled. Also, a dream hypoptesis is possible as the lyrics are kinda vague. The pv shows how love was undone by death.

Together When… – second love song from GUILTY. Suffering from a failed relationship, the need to return to the past and the unsure future.

Marionette (second favourite lyrics)
Similar theme as Like a Doll. She is doubting people's capacity of truly loving, as they choose to hide themselves within masks. Ayu’s using the “marionette” metaphor to describe this kind of self-destructing behaviour. The song is accompanied by a theatrical manifestation in the form of a pv that makes a lot of sense in the context of the lyrics. The video connects very well with the songs' creepy vibe by showing many interesting elements such as dead/fake eyes (confusion, lost of purpose), dark house (loneliness), wind (unsecurity) etc. The prelude marks the transition between two of the most darkest moments on the album (Guilty & Marionette). After Marionette ends, the mood of the album gets quite cheerful – The Judgement Day continues in the same sober style but only by a certain point when it becomes more and more uplifting.

Glitter – GUILTY’s singular summer song. The decision to still trust life and love even after multiple letdowns. Its our choice to limit our lives in black and white but we can certainly choose to see it in shades of gray. The lyrics may also be interpreted as the start of a new love story.

MY ALL – Ayu's gratitude for fans. The lyrics are kinda vague, so they can also be interpreted as lyrics for a friend, for a family member, even for a lover. Again, a fresh uplifting warm melody.

rebirth - reinvention, moments of collectedness, of grieving.

Untitled ~for her~ – ayu’s mourning towards her lost friend. The CDL 07-08 is so sad, I feel like crying everytime I see the concert. The lyrics are using the motif of the sky (e.g. clouds) as the place where souls go after leaving this world. This tragedy is maybe the main inspiration for this record.

GUILTY was created from ayu’s unconscious need to forgive her mistakes and her impotences. 2007 was a depressive year for her and she even said at a certain point that she wasn’t planning to release anything that year because she wasn’t feeling inspired and well enough. But eventually, she found the power to gather herself and to unleash all her anger into the music. Once again, music is healing.