[Deibel]

I randomly watched a documentary about a singer from my country. And then I heard something very relatable to ayu's situation. Couldn't help but thinking about her. Those could be her words as well. (I'm sorry in advance for the possible mistakes).

"The stage is the biggest drug in the world, I think. I hate it, but I love it. I can't live without it. Singing 2,5h nonstop is hard, very hard, and sacrificed. And no matter how much you love what you do, you're not always in the mood to stand there, smile and offer the show everyone deserve. On stage, feelings and energies are contagious. They can't stop flowing during the show. The stage is something that catches you, hookes you, and then you can't live without it. You're nothing, no one, without it. To me, this addiction produced me real health issues. I can't say "no" to him.

My last tour (120 concerts) was very big. My health was damaged. Not taking care of myself, no sleeping, long car trips, you eat whatever you can, the way you want... After one concert I didn't felt well. My belly hurted like crazy [...] I said to my manager "call an ambulance". The next thing I remember is that I was in a hospital, don't know for how many days. But doctors couldn't find out what was happening to me. More concerts got cancelled. Turns out my vesicle was very damaged. The doctor explained me the whole operation. I was so tired and sleepy that I asked him to do it the next day instead. "If we do that, we would operate a corpse".

She's ok after all that, still performing. But I wouldn't want to see ayu in that situation. To some extent, I guess this passion they talk about is something only artists/performers can understand.