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With any celebrity, you'll never really know their heart 100% - but with Namie, I feel she's very guarded. I think she gave some insight in these interviews, and some of it less than flattering as you mentioned, but I also guarantee that there was a LOT more going on behind the scenes that is unknown or rumored only.
Past that, I think Namie's goal in fame has almost always been to enjoy herself, and to make other people happy. Unlike others, I don't think it was ever her goal to have a deep connection with her fans - and I think that is why she was so moved by certain moments, like Kouhaku - because she never sought out that kind of connection.
And through various times in her career, when she was not enjoying herself, that made her want to stop. Is it alarming just how often she thought about retiring - yes, kind of. But, at the same time, in the scope of the Japanese music scene that would not have been unnatural. Many idols retire by the time they turn 25 and are "too old." I'm sure as her popularity has changed over the years (good and bad), there have also been stresses behind the scenes with her label, management, etc. that have contributed to that.
And finally, in a lot of ways, Namie is also VERY Japanese. She had a period of rebellion when her popularity fell, when she did Suite Chic, and even Style & Queen of Hip-pop. But over the years, she's tried to erase a lot of that - removing her tattoos, toning down her image to be more girly, etc. I think she has some more traditional values in terms of what she thinks her life should hold, or how she should live it. But she's a very private person, and I believe she holds a lot inside and has never felt like she wanted to or should share that externally.
So I can understand if you feel disillusioned, but I also don't exactly agree with your interpretation. I think if you put her in a Japanese context, it's much more understandable. If you go back to the Ayu comparison, without dwelling on it, Ayu is very non-Japanese in a lot of ways - it was the source of her major popularity earlier in her career, and what continues to hurt her now. So it's not a fair comparison in a lot of different ways.
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