|
Wow, this discussion is hard to ignore and I am not sure if I understood everything right. I guess it is really helpful in a way that members express themselves what has apparantly been boiled up for a while. Hopefully the mods won't delete this, because... even for off topic, I really hope we all now can stand back, look at the other has been writing and try to put ourselves in their shoes. If I have ever been come over as passive aggressive, bullying, discouraging, disrespectful, I am sorry. Also I acknowledge I have said things in the past I am not proud of... one of those things were telling a new member to f off after he said that Ayu was a hot grandma or something like that. I meant it sassy, but I have learned that since we are writing, instead of talking face to face, the other one might recieve the message differently than intended.
I love AHS, and true; mainly to just say out loud my praises for Ayu (I don't have anyone to share my worship with in real life, basically) so sometimes it is really off putting to read discussions like these... or even negative posts, because A) I am bad at expressing my thoughts in the heat of a discussion, it is stressful, and B) being positive just creates maybe a boring, but relaxing place to come together.
Writing this I suddenly notice I am kinda intimidated by members who are able to choose their words wisely and now what parts in my posts are twisted or whatever and for that reason, I try to stay out of any discussion whatsoever.
But from what I read, I see that both sides twist anothers' words, to prove a point perhaps. Stand back for a while, read what has been said, and try to empathize what makes someone saying this... we strive for an opinion-free forum, but yet we don't always practice what we preach. Neither do I, so please don't think I put myself in a better daylight.
On the same hand, even if we ask others to empathize with us (and the other way around) I think we must also keep in mind that some members just talk the way they do. Maybe we shouldn't take it very personal what these people are trying to say. Their behaviour might come off-putting for some, but it may also depend on the kind of type of person you are, and the type you are talking to. You can't change the way someone is... and if you try or point out their flaws, they will defend themselves. Like you would too.
Even though I haven't participated in the discussion, for me it is eye opening. We cannot sink that low as @melissalove described: bullying members in privat message. That is downright wrong and I am shocked this behaviour is present on AHS. I must say, about negative comments such as those from @Chibi-Chan, sorry; I am guilty of thinking somethimes that if there are so many things you don't like about Ayu, I wonder why you were still here. Because of this discussion, I understand the viewing better and I will promise not to think such things again.
Maybe I have wrote a very idealistic post, but let's take a break from this discussion, just to read what has been said (instead of unintentionally reading what is inbetween the lines).
End of essay. Love!
__________________
|