Thank you for the translation! I’m so excited that she’s trying a return to the ayu we knew. The Ayu that put her heart and soul into everything. Even though I liked most of her recent releases, there was a feeling of a lack of energy, kind of like she was only doing it because she felt like she had to, not because she was truly excited about what she was doing. I’m so excited to see that she’s excited again and has her sense of creativity back.
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Originally Posted by koumori
I want to say that regardless of how you interpret her words, it's still okay to be a fan of the work she has done in the last few years. Those are moments that she was having fun with, or expressing herself in the most honest way she could, finding those moments of freedom and happiness in what has seemed to be a long time of strife and hardship personally behind the scenes. I don't look at the long gap between music releases and think she was just having fun, I see it as Ayu struggling to connect with "Ayumi Hamasaki", and the few pieces of music we have had (in comparison to her typical release schedule) are even more remarkable to me in retrospect, in acknowledging how hard it has likely been to write and record things in that sort of headspace.
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Trying to force creativity is very draining, emotionally speaking. Trying to put into words or song or music your inner feeling when the creativity just isn’t flowing is so frustrating and exhausting. It’s a hard thing for an artist to feel as though they’ve “lost it” but still trying to create. I really loved オヒアの木 because it felt like she had some of her old inspiration back with her son, and she crafted a song for him that you can really feel her love.