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#1
16th April 2012, 11:03 PM
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Rules of Visual Kei
I just found a word doc with 60 rules of Visual Kei on my HD. The original one is in German but because I loled so hard by reading it I had to share this and translated it. I would myself consider a Visu, but the Visual Kei scene in Germany became so.... ridiculous and laughable that I don't want to be associated with it. xD I have no idea if this stereotypes are also outside of Germany widely known by people who like J-Music, but I hope that you will have as much fun as I had by reading this! xD
(I don't know who the author of this is, so I can't give credit. >_< And if you find any mistakes 'cos English isn't my first language just point them out!) Rules of Visual Kei §1 Be evil. §2 Be out of temper. §3 Be evil while you're out of temper. §4 Never laugh, absolutely NEVER. §5 Just listen to evil, unknown bands. §6 Major bands are making bad music. §7 If you nevertheless wanna listen to a major band it'll be men dressed in female clothes. §8 Put on white make-up (as well if you're black) even if you will look like a clown for other people, but you know you're looking like a vampire. §9 Always choose a nickname with "666", "dead", "dark", "?", "Lord", "hell" or "shadow", because that's evil and Visus are evil. It will be even better and totally evil if you'll combine this with the name of an evil bandmember. For example "Shadow_Lord _Illuminati-Gackt_in_the dark_hell666?", this way you're showing how evil you are. (It is really way better than "Ranma_1989" or "Son_Goku13", isn't it?) §10 As a real Visu you're of course not believing in God and you're strictly refusing religion! §11 But of course you always have to wear a big cross, collect pictures of angels and you take pictures of yourself in front of churches. §12 Hate mainstream. §13 Define mainstream: anything but Visual Kei is mainstream. §14 Often use the word "pseudo". §15 Define pseudo: everyone who doesn't listen to Visual Kei is a pseudo. §16 Always write sentences nobody understands and come up with new words. §17 Use as often as possible "waiiii~" and "nyaaa~". §18 Claudi666 is your idol. (note: that's Claudi666 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rxn6l45vDNI, but it's in German, so non German speaking persons won't understand) §19 Write on post-it notes japanese words like "konnichi wa", "kawaii", or "genki desu ka" and stick them onto your monitor, this way you can write everyone something in Japanese while you're chatting and show how visu you are! §20 If someone is asking you what a Visu is, answer it's sort of like a satanist, only that you're also liking Japan, anime and men in female clothes. §21 Never, absolutely NEVER, listen to non-japanese music and if you do after all then only to HIM and Marilyn Manson, 'cos they are evil. §22 If it's rare it has to be good. Order it immediately! §23 Hate Gackt. §24 Hate Hyde, 'cos he is friends with Gackt. §25 Malice Mizer hasn't disbanded by choice... Gackt is to blame for everything. §26 Never listen to bands which aren't visu. §27 Never let anybody know when you're liking non Visual Kei music (KinKi Kids and Ayumi Hamasaki are absolutely bad). §28 Hate Germany (respectively the country you're from) because you like japanese music. §29 Buy magazines for kids because a picture of a Visual Kei band is included. §30 Write to bands they should perform on an Anime Con. §31 Buy shirts at C&A on which is written in a pink glitter font "Gothic/Punk Girl", but usually only buy black clothes at H&M. §32 Wear white shirts which you had painted with red color so that it looks like blood. §33 Mill around with those shirts in the inner city to show how evil you are. §34 If you're not just showing people how evil you are, you're with friends on the graveyard. §35 Make plans with friends to found a sect. §36 In this sect only Visus are allowed. §37 Everything that isn't dressed everyday absolutely visu is Biedermann-fan and pseudo. (Note: Jeanette Biedermann is -or was?- a german popstar and soapstar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnBcde-9X9Q) §38 Don't go to concerts outside of Japan even if it's in your city. §39 And if you nevertheless do: position yourself with crossed arms and don't show that you like it. §40 Be against Visual Kei appearing in gothic magazines. §41 Visual Kei only may appear in an anime magazine. §42 At men: be gay otherwise you're not visu. §43 Read and write a great number of fanfictions in which your favourite (actually not homosexual) band members have sex with each other. §44 Only talk to people who are liking exactly the same bands as you. §45 You also have to show in your room how evil you are! Place next to your Sailor Moon manga skulls and above your plush toys on your bed hang up posters of evil indie bands. §46 It doesn't matter how somebody is singing, most important is the look of a band! You always have to remember that! It would be awul if they would only make good music but don't look good, wouldn't it? §47 Always remember: Eve of Destiny, D'espairs Ray or Moi dix Mois have absolutely nothing to do with gothic. §48 Found a band, even if y'all don't make music and give it a meaningful german name like "Saft" (eng: juice). §49 Drive one of your band members into suicide and argue that to blame would be the mainstream which is infiltrating the "scene". §50 When somebody is asking you if you like the new CD of a band you point out that you only like the old stuff, 'cos they aren't visu enough anymore. §51 Don't have fun, that's not visu. §52 If you're talking with someone about bands just bring up totally unknown indie bands about which nobody knows anything and had never listen to. Remember: the less songs they have the bigger is the chance nobody knows them! §53 Tell everyone how much it annoys your parents that you're listening to such music, even if it isn't true. §54 Give every anime and manga fan Visual Kei and J-Rock songs. §55 Go to an Anime Con and complain that they have too less J-Rock. §56 Place candels everywhere in your room. §57 Always be depressive and contemplate about suicide. §58 Light candles and think about how awully evil you are and be sad, depressive and angry all at once. §59 Let your friends assume roles as wife/husband, child and all-important are the pet and slave parts. §60 Never go against those rules and you are a real Visu. Last edited by Chibi-Chan; 16th April 2012 at 11:09 PM. 
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#2
16th April 2012, 11:12 PM
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I LOVE visual kei bands!
 GACKT is KING of J-Rock & both for Visual Kei since he's in this band called YFC笑 Last edited by Kana×Shin; 17th April 2012 at 03:37 PM.
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#3
17th April 2012, 01:30 AM
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This is the greatest thing I have ever read. Posers amuse me.
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#4
17th April 2012, 03:04 AM
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Hate Gackt. Cause he sold out!
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☆ bunnnniiiieeeesssss ☆ - The "New Artists You're Trying Out" Thread -
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#5
17th April 2012, 06:19 AM
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#6
17th April 2012, 06:34 AM
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This is hilarious...
lol hate Gackt...xD
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#7
17th April 2012, 03:02 PM
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#8
18th April 2012, 03:27 AM
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rofl at all the Gackt hate, though I have to say I like his music before YFC, I just don't get it anymore actually after he released like a bunch of singles in a roll for his anniversary thing it just threw me off, I haven't like much of his new stuff, after returner... Actually that's about the time he switch to avex right?
__________________  Ok so my photoshop skill sucks sue me... 
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#9
18th April 2012, 04:29 AM
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^He's good at arranging music, and has written some good songs, but he's gone downhill in the last few years. EVER, released in 2010, was his first single under Avex, save for a few other, KamenRider-related singles.
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#10
18th April 2012, 11:54 AM
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Lol!! It's really funny.
The only thing that I get from the whole list is to Just be evil.
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#11
18th April 2012, 12:01 PM
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I feel this list has so many horrible stereotypes that seems more like people would have about Visual Kei fans, rather than what Visual Kei fans are actually like. But it was definitely entertaining to read
__________________ Ok so my photoshop skill sucks sue me...
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#13
18th April 2012, 01:43 PM
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#14
18th April 2012, 05:45 PM
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Some are better than other, but it's defenitely entertaining. 
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#15
18th April 2012, 08:49 PM
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I wonder, was the person who wrote this joking? Or trying to make VK fans look bad perhaps?
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#16
18th April 2012, 08:50 PM
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Hilarious! I find VK such a ridiculous idea. Every time I see a guy in a frilly, Lacey dress I laugh and think of Dir en Grey and wonder what Kaoru and Toshiya think of their short skirt waxed leg days now that they're so badass. lol
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#17
19th April 2012, 02:39 PM
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Many VK fans (above all younger and new fans) became very strange and cliché in the last years. What would be the reason why I don't really want to tell people I like VK, because they are always like:  But of course I also know a lot of VK fans who aren't like this at all.And I want to point out I'm not a pseudo at all, 'cause next to my plush toys I have a MUCC, Dir en grey and An Cafe poster on my wall *quickly hides the Hamasaki Ayumi poster*... xD
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#18
23rd April 2012, 04:35 PM
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#19
23rd April 2012, 07:30 PM
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^Instead of pseudo you could say wannabe (I hope it was obvious that I was just kidding and making fun of myself 'cos I really have a lot of plush toys and above them those posters on the wall)
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#20
23rd April 2012, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
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Initiate
BEST Initiate
Funny~
Linear Mode
