Why Ayu might have finally sung "ever free"

[CatGirl]

As some of you may know, I absolutely LOVE ever free. It's my favorite song by Ayu and I was way too excited in the Discord chat when I heard that she FINALLY performed it, lol. And from what I heard from the recording, her performance of it was excellent.

But I've been thinking about it a little bit, and I'm worried that there may be a deeper meaning to why she performed it.

Ayu announced last year that she was now going deaf in her right ear, and that it'll only be a matter of time until she's completely deaf. In addition, her tours from the past year have seem very rushed and almost haphazardly put together. Not only that, but this is the longest stretch we've ever had without a new album from her.

Why do I bring this up? ever free is a song about endings and death. Moreso than some of her other songs, it expresses finality, along with the acceptance of that finality.

For reference, these are the last two choruses: "How far away will you go?
Is it so far away that you can never come back?

I want to see you but I can't; at least you could tell me.
I won't forget any of the final tears you gave me."

Not to mention the fact that when the HAL's mix of ever free was used for an interlude video in Concert Tour 2000, it was literally a funeral in front of Ayu's casket.

Honestly, I'm wondering if she performed it because she knows she doesn't have much time left, and maybe ever free expresses her feelings about the tragic health situation she's in. Either that, or she wanted to finally perform this fan favorite before she could no longer do it. It makes me wonder just HOW much time she has left - could it be a year or less?

What does everyone else think? I'd really like to hear your interpretations (and I also kind of hope I'm wrong, lol).