The impact of NTV Special Interview 2004 on you

[Apekuz]

Thanks to LeButler's generosity and the efforts of csliu and MellowB's to sub the video, I was able to watch NTV's special interview on Ayu this afternoon.

I may or may not make sense here...

Well what I could only say is that, I never thought that the report would leave such an impact. At some parts of the report it felt as if I was hit right in the face with a baseball bat or something. Especially on the Dome Tour 2002 (or was it 2003? I'm unsure, sorry.) I have watched the concert before, and no way could I have figured out that she was performing with her ear problem and injured leg. She continued even when the doctor said that she needs rest for her leg, and that she could even lose her hearing if she continues to perform under high-DB situations.

And also the part where she recorded all the songs in A Best just because the album is special to her. I just don't know how to point out what I'm trying to say here. It's just that, in everything that she does, she puts so much effort into it, she does with so much heart that it's probably even painful at times. Yet she makes them look so easy.

It's funny, a part of me feels sympathy, and could hope that she'd just retire and live a happy life somewhere, because at certain points in her career, that has been her wish. But another part of me just wouldn't want to lose someone like Ayu as a singer and as a person to look up to...

I'm at a lost of word here but whatever goes on in the future, my repect for her has multiplied at least tenfold.

So for those of you who has watched the report, pray tell, how did you feel about it?

[Unimatrix Prime™]

I remember I initially commented on this before, but at any rate, my views of Ayu did change quite a bit. While I had known about some of the struggles she faced around the time of A BEST, and learned about the ear infection when reading a news article, I wasn't aware of how she was so close to quitting, or that even with her ear infection, she continued to perform. Even when she fell and injured herself in the Dome Tour, she recovered and performed as if nothing ever happened. Not many artists that I know of would've continued so quickly, or be so determined to succeed. She's such a unique and awesome individual, and seems to make anyone she meets smile and feel great. While I'm sure she has her on and off days, she seems willing to work and it's the reason why I think she's so well known and successful.

[Apekuz]

Yes, I was rather shocked when I learnt that she actually planned to have A Best as her last album. But I'm just glad that she came to her senses (or not) and continued in the music industry.

And by the way... if a thread like this one was ever created before, I'm extremely sorry, I just wanted to know different people's views after watching the report.

[Unimatrix Prime™]

Originally Posted by Apekuz

And by the way... if a thread like this one was ever created before, I'm extremely sorry, I just wanted to know different people's views after watching the report.

I don't think a thread like this was made. I think I commented in the NTV Screencaps thread, but it seems to had been deleted

[LeButler]

Here are some of my semirandom thoughts/a summary of what is in fact a 4-year documentary rather than an interview.
If there are contradictions it's because things changed (a lot) during that period of time.

The Interview
-The meaning of, and reason for, the interview has changed. Originally it was intended as an goodbye autobiography or obiturary for her career.
-Has been continuing for years; only now does did she feel she was ready for it to be shown.
-It was unneccesary to release this to further her career. Suggests to me she wanted to release it as a kind of therapy.

The ear problem
-The loss of hearing/pain was a real shock. She'd never previously experienced any kind of loss or defeat since beginning her career (the previous one, her grandma dying, happened immediatly before her debut). Up till then, she had felt nearly invincible.
-ABest album songs all had new vocals. This was because she wanted to to prove to herself she still "had it" vocally after the poor Concert performances.

Work
-Sees herself very much as part of Avex, as if she IS Avex in fact. Feels responsibility for the employees.
-Although straightforward to understand before, the Dearest PV has taken on new significance.
-Unbeliveable she didn't cancel Dome Tour - ear problem, injuring herself just hours before etc. Again, makes you see it differently when watching it.

Personal life
-Hides & actively avoids talking about personal life. No mention of boyfriend or friends, nothing really said about the absent father, and only some recollection of grandmother included.
-In fact, you get the impression that maybe there isn't a personal life to hide.

Fukoka (revisits her childhood home town)
-Note until just 2 months ago, this part was not intended to be included. Didn't want her past to be shown at all before then. Why? wasn't excessively unhappy duiring childhood according to previews bios, so maybe they were wrong.
-Seems genuine at Fukoka, not rehearsed, IS seeing things for 1st time in years.
-To a certain extent was a lowering of the guard re: controlling her image which is significant considering this is Ayu, the one who tries to controls everything.
-Right at the end of the interview when you see her smiling away, I did however wonder how much was for the camera and whether the entire 45 mins were choreographed, but overall I don't feel too much was stagemanaged.

2004 and the future
-The last 3 months have been critical (so is she still volatile?).
-She has turned a corner and this release shows confidence that she's now OK.
-Living a lie to herself in past. Has that now stopped, or not? Can someone in such a position ever NOT be that way?
-New maturity. Has had time to think about herself. Previously release after release meant she didn't have time to do that...but having said that there hasn't been much of a let-up in her releases during the last year.
-This could all still have been a career move: wants to be seen as a mature person instead of an icon now.

Overall, it does at the least remind us (though not neccesarily show us) she's a human being, even if it is an exceptional life she leads.

Essential watching for all Ayu fans to understand her situation a little better.

[ohsixthirty]

I downloaded the NTV Special Report, but initially was not that interested in it because I couldn't understand what was going on. I skipped through it and though, "Oh that's nice." Then I read the translation by Csliu I believe and got a little bit more of a grip on what it was talking about, but still I didn't really get much from it. It wasn't until I watched it with the subs that I got it...and all I can say is WOW! I had tears in my eyes at several points even. I mean, It has completely given me insight into Ayumi that I did not have before now. I already thought she was driven and amazing, but now that I know all the things she has done, like re-recording for A Best, dealing with her ear, injuring her leg...and the death of her grandmother right before her career exploded...Ayumi is a strong and amazing person. It's not just chance or coincidence that she has gone so far, but it's her hard work that has brought her to the top. She has fought and she has scars to show for it. I just find that amazing and I'm glad that I got to have this insight into Ayumi and her career.

[LeButler]

Yes touchedstar, it is completely different with the subtitles.

If it wasn't too late now, I'd have hard-added them onto the video so people could not watch it without them...they are essential.

Please, make sure you watch it again WITH the subtitles everyone.

[Apekuz]

Overall, it does at the least remind us (though not neccesarily show us) she's a human being, even if it is an exceptional life she leads.

Ahh!! That hit the spot! That was what I was trying so hard to say! Sometimes her idol image is so glorious that we forget that she's just human being. And judging from that perspective, what she did and what she does now is something very little people can do.

I'd wish things were a little easier on her, but we all know its just not that simple...

[Ryoko]

Wow.... I'm reading everyone's replies and I'm really surprised. I think my respect for Ayu has grown!

[CT_Cool]

After seeing / reading the interview i really think what ayumi has done in her singing career, the stuff she over come and achieved is amaizing. Not only do i like her as for the singer she is, but now i really really respect her for who she is for what she has been through and done. I would have never know about the dome tour where she fallen in to the hole and injured herself. I think she how still chosen to carry on running the tour with her injuried foot and hearing problem without cancelling it ans betraying her fans really show to me what a great perosn and how much she loves her fans. Also i thought it was sad about her grandmother when she were recording poker face .

[ohsixthirty]

You know, with the tour thing...think about how much she went through to not cancel. But then think about so many other artists and how easily they will cancel. I've heard of Britney, X-tina, Janet, etc, etc, etc... cancelling shows SO many time over things so much smaller...but then there is Ayumi who is determined and pushes on in spite of everything. It's really quite amazing.

[deceitXblue]

Yes !!Ayumi's really tough going through the ear and leg pain.She just go on and perform like nothings wrong .I really extremely admire her now !!This interview is very touching to me.

[AfanforXX]

I got more respect for her as a person, but not as an artist. Her lyrics are still recycled i think. She's a really interesting person, she should write about the real her! Not about what she thinks people wanna hear.

[ohsixthirty]

Originally Posted by AfanforXX

I got more respect for her as a person, but not as an artist. Her lyrics are still recycled i think. She's a really interesting person, she should write about the real her! Not about what she thinks people wanna hear.

Why do you think she doesn't write about the real her? And as for recycling lyrics, all I can say is that I write a lot and I often find that I return to the same themes because they linger in my mind.

[Ryoko]

Originally Posted by touchedstar

Why do you think she doesn't write about the real her? And as for recycling lyrics, all I can say is that I write a lot and I often find that I return to the same themes because they linger in my mind.

I agree .

Nearly every artist writes about love and still I think that no one has found quite the right words to describe their feelings.

Anyway, back to the subject people!

[charlie 3223]

People write songs about what they know. Im sure if Ayu spends her whole life dealing with corporate crime we will get songs about that topic.

The interview felt like one of those VH1 behind the music deals and those always takes the "burnt out" artists and adds a human component to it. So that the viewer thinks "It wasnt all about the drugs" or something like that. I remember watching the one with Milli Vanilli...so sad it was.

[[H]]

I've watched the NTV interview and read the translation from csliu too. I just want to say that I'm so proud to be the fan of ayumi hamasaki. She has so many struggles in her life and she managed to move on. She even didn't care about her ear problems and the injury during Dome Tour just because she didn't want to let her fans down. Even though she has many unrevealed past, she'll probably reveal it someday through her song maybe. I'm glad she could move on now and told us more about her through the interview.

Goodluck ayu, may happiness always be with you.

[hanabiwings]

I was happily able to view both the 2000 documentary and the 2004 documentary. I actually felt like I got more out of the first than the second. The second was wonderful, full of insight, and so on. But the first... There was something very moving about it. Perhaps it was because it focused so much on Ayu's hectic schedule or something. But really, I was able to understand just how she felt after having debuted and come to grips with her popularity. Some of the mature things she said sent chills down my spine. When recording "Far Away" and also when discussing her view of herself, she really shocked me. I hope someone will have the time to translate the 2000 interview as well. It was excellent, so I hope everyone can find some way to understand what is said. I'd translate it, but I'm going through the end of the semester stuff in school. ^^ (Has it been translated? I haven't looked elsewhere.)

[dCxAyumi1]

i've always had a great deal of respect for ayumi-chan..wat with all the work she puts into her albums, concerts, CMs, etc..the list goes on..it is amazing how just one person can handle all these types of pressures. and on top of it all, ayumi-chan does a superb job..it's like the midas touch..everything she touches turns to gold..everything she does becomes the cream of the crop. dat's just one of many reasons why Ayumi-chan is so successful with her career..although it seems humanly impossible for anyone to tackle the tasks and overcome the burdens and struggles mentioned, Ayumi-chan is living proof of such talent, of such power and strength. i've definitely shed a few tears while watching the interview..all the hardships she had to go through..wow...any ordinary person may not be able to go on like ayu-chan did...it's..absolutely amazing. after watching this..my respect for ayu-chan has grown at least hundredfold, no..wait..more..im glad im one of many dedicated fans of Hamasaki-sama, and glad to be writing in this forum dedicated to the one and only Ayu^^

[Apekuz]

Erm... about the recycled lyrics... isn't it Ayu's policy to write from personal experience? I've been made to understand that she was never trained to write lyrics and her writing skills were developed from writing diaries as a little girl (I wonder if she still does it?). Meaning even if she wanted to write something 'fictional' she wouldn't have a good idea how to.

Take a look at her first two albums, they were mostly about her problems, her hopes and herself. She took a little turn in the "I am..." album following the 1999 incident. She was believed to think that the problems of the world are more "serious" and started writing some songs about peace.

Ooops... I'm at a lost of words again. Anyway... as far as her lyrics go, they don't seem recycled to me, I even enjoy reading them from time to time as it provides wise insight about everyday life (I believe so). Want recycled lyrics? Check out boybands singing love songs (no offense everyone). (^___^)

Anywaaay... please don't let my little rant discourse the main topic! And sorry if I offended anyone! I was just voicing my opinions.