can anyone explain the meaning of ASFXX?

Sorry for the Enquiries, but I have read the lyrics and still don't understand the meaning. I guess I'm dumb or something, but can anyone explain the meaning of the lyrics?

[JesA]

all i know is that is for her mom and about growing up or something

[nmskalmn]

You should read masa's essays.

Originally Posted by nmskalmn

You should read masa's essays.

I have, but it was kinda hard to understand. That's why I posted it here.

[walking proud]

My interpretation, paragraph by paragraph:

"Why am I crying?
Why am I lost?
Why did I stop?
Please tell me
When will I grow up?
How long can I stay a child?
Where have I come running from?
Where am I running to?"

She feels emotionally immature but she has grown up physically. By "how long will I stay a child?" she asks how long will she stay in a child's mindset?

"I had no place to live. I couldn't find one.
I don't know if I could have any hope for the future."

This is pretty straightforward, she couldn't find her place and was uncertain about what would happen in the future.

"They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong to not cry."
I didn't want those words at all.
So I pretended not to understand."

She wanted to cry; she wanted to be immature so she blocked out those words. She used being a child to an advantage by saying that she "didn't understand", although she did. She didn't want to be strong at that time.

"Why are you laughing?
Why are you by my side?
Why are you leaving me?
Please tell me.
When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?"

She's asking you about when you became strong and mature so that she can use it in relativity to herself [IE: if you became strong when you were 20, she will assume that she'll become strong when she's 20; if you became strong when your parents died she'll assume she will be strong when her parents die]. She's asking rhetorical questions that you really can't answer, but she's showing her immaturity and not knowing the world.

The sun is rising. I must go soon.
I can't stay in the same place forever.

Self-explanitory.

You will someday be betrayed by your trust in people.
I thought it was the same as being rejected.
At the time I didn't have that kind of strength.
I definitely knew too much.

Once again, showing immaturity in her feelings. She says she knew too much as a child and she wanted to "keep her innocence". She expresses her confusion in losing trust and rejection, assuming they are the same thing.

They always said I was a strong child.
They praised me, saying "you must be strong not to cry."
The more people said things like that,
the more even laughing became agony.

Everything became disappointing to her because everyone kept repeating for her to be strong when she couldn't be.

I was born alone. I'll go on living alone.
I thought that surely that kind of life is appropriate.

She thinks that the only "acceptable" way of life is to go on living alone.


once again, these are just my thoughts and how i interpret it.

[Axel_Grease]

Thanks for typing that out. Gives me a slight idea of what it's about.

[chibi_sunny]

thanx, walking Proud!

[sexysaucestar]

All I know is that the song is pretty sad. walking proud explained it well though =) Pretty good interpretation if you ask me. ^^

Thank you walking proud! I think I understand it now!

[walking proud]

Welcome ^^

[Delirium-Zer0]

One thing:

When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?"

I think the last two lines should be "how long must I wait", not "you", since after asking her mom in the first two lines how long it took HER to grow up, she's putting that against herself, and then asking how long it'll take herself. That line has no "you" or "I" in it so it's fuzzy but i think that's what ayu probably meant.

And judging from the line in the booklet "your small, weak-looking back from behind is what I remember" (that's rough, i don't remember what it was specifically, but this is a reference to her watching her dad leave and thinking he looked weak and cowardly), I think this whole song is her talking to her mom in reaction to her dad leaving. Ayu and her mom are on their own after that event, and it occurred to ayu that she'd have to grow up faster than she thought she would, and try to help her mom. She didn't feel abandoned so much as shoved into the world of adults prematurely. That's why she didn't cry, not because she was "strong".

[Keishi]

gosh...I never know that ASFXX could be this deep....thanks for the interpretations both of ya!

[Yarumi]

most of Ayu's beginning lyrics were extremely deep, she had alot more time on her hands then, plus she had alot of memories and emotions that she hadn't set free yet

[walking proud]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

One thing:

When did you become strong?
Since when have you felt weakness?
How long must you wait
for the day you understand to come?"

I think the last two lines should be "how long must I wait", not "you", since after asking her mom in the first two lines how long it took HER to grow up, she's putting that against herself, and then asking how long it'll take herself. That line has no "you" or "I" in it so it's fuzzy but i think that's what ayu probably meant.

And judging from the line in the booklet "your small, weak-looking back from behind is what I remember" (that's rough, i don't remember what it was specifically, but this is a reference to her watching her dad leave and thinking he looked weak and cowardly), I think this whole song is her talking to her mom in reaction to her dad leaving. Ayu and her mom are on their own after that event, and it occurred to ayu that she'd have to grow up faster than she thought she would, and try to help her mom. She didn't feel abandoned so much as shoved into the world of adults prematurely. That's why she didn't cry, not because she was "strong".

Eh.. you probably know better than I do.. I was just going purely from the lyrics, not from her past or anything.. *sweat*

[Delirium-Zer0]

Actually your interpretation just based on the lyrics was pretty much dead-on! ^_^