Who still cares about Ayu?

[susiowong]

Ignore the rude topic title. This might be negative to some people, but reading about rumors of a new mini-album made me think of myself in relation to Ayumi's music.

I used to get excited when there would be a new release by Ayu, but now I'm not excited or surprised. I just don't care, and whereas I used to always buy the album, I just download them now when AHS puts it up.

Does that mean I'm too spoiled as a fan, since she's always releasing something? Does that mean I'm just disinterested in Ayu now? Did she change her style of music, is that why I don't fall in love like I used to? Does it mean I work way too much and have no time for the things that I loved in my teenage years? Meh. I wish I knew, but I don't.

Obviously, I still love Ayu. I'm dedicated to her, even after so many years of feeling very "meh" about her music. But honestly, she's a huge part of who I became today because she impacted me so much as a tween/teen, but even though I don't think of her everyday, don't listen to her music everyday, she still has a place in my heart. (lol) It makes me sad, but that's just how it is.

What do you guys think? Have you gone through this? Have you lost interest over time, but do you still feel loyal? Do you fall "in and out" of love with her? I'm interested in hearing what others have to say about her after so many years of following and being a fan.

[Bigtop]

Someone who lives in Washington state, huh?

Yeah, I kind of agree. I've lost interest in Ayu over time, partially because of her actions, but also because of interest in other musicians, not to mention everyone is getting older (!). I got interested in Ayu when I was 13, now I'm 22 (I've spent almost half of my life with J-pop in my backs!). I'm not so sure if I'm so loyal to Ayu very much today as much as I was nine years ago, and even my run at TeamAyu has been so dormat if I should even consider renewing my membership or not, especially with the budget concerns that I have after all those computer upgrading that I've been doing over the past couple of years or so.

But then again, if it wasn't for Ayu, I wouldn't be in the J-pop fandom that I've been having today...

[holy_arrow]

I think your fire is down but it hasn't over yet. The fire of lovin' Ayu. Perhaps, you should save money to attend to her concert to raise your fire again.

Many people lost their passions on something because they enjoy it in the same way day by day. When they change the way they enjoyed before, the new passion which came from older will appear.

I had a friend who has been Ayu's fan for 10 years but start ignore Ayu from 2012, after enjoying her performance in Singapore in 2014, she started to collect her release from 2012 to present

[KarenPang]

I think what you're experiencing now , it's normal to me as I myself also experience that

Not just in Ayu's fandom but in many other fandoms I'm also in , I think there will be a time when your fandom level peaks/stabilises & after a while , depending on circumstances , you might still stay on or in the worst sad case , just altogether leave

For me Ayu is no doubt a big part in influencing me on the way I listen to Japanese music especially since she was the 1st person I knew when I started to make that switch which happened almost 10 years ago

In the early days of supporting her , I listened to her music almost everyday without fail . Now I only do that occasionally depending on my mood but does that make me a bad fan ? Absolutely not

People change as time goes by . Likewise for Ayu & myself but for me I don't see myself leaving her fandom anytime soon . If I did , I would have done that a long time ago & not now

Also in recent times I have not been happy with what she does , be it when comes to her recent music and/or scrutiny on her private life which it's none of my business to care about but like what holy_arrow said , after seeing Ayu so upclose in closing a-nation Singapore last year , some of the old spark in me that supported her came back

[xLuna&1LOVE]

Of course you are not the only one. My love for Ayu has not been very consistent as well, but that does not mean I am done with her.

Like Bigtop says it could have a lot to do with growing up or having been such a huge fan of hers, that her latest actions or musical decisions you did not necessarily like, did cool off your fandom. But like many members, Ayu is a big memory from our youth or in my case one of the best aspects when I look back on my dark teenage years.

Needless to say, I cannot simply erase my love for her because of the same reasons like you, topicstarter. Ayu's music used to give me motivation, a reason to be creative and most of all: because of some performances, I have pushed all my limits and do what I love most in life, theatre design. I am in a better place now and her music does not necessarily do as much for me then in the first place. Sometimes I am worried too if I even like her music like I did before. Ayu is the only J-Pop I listen to, my interest in other J-Pop artists like Namie Amuro, alan, Koda Kumi etcetera are gone.

But I enjoyed the 2015 era. The music was good, I liked the photographs from the tour and the only thing that did put me off were her live vocals. Eventhough when the majority on AHS says she has improved a lot, for a minute I tried to decide if it was me who's deaf or the rest of the people. Some conversations on AHS make me want to listen to the older albums and sometimes I get that old feeling that I must have that one album.
I like browsing on AHS, but one day I like browsing here and the other day I do not give a darn what is going on. Same thing happens to in whether I like to listen to Ayu, or decide I want something else.

Every fandom comes with ups and downs.

[Miduhyo]

Around the time of Next Level and Rock 'n' Roll Circus, I just did not care about Ayu. At all. I mean, at that time, I still considered her one of my biggest influences because of albums like Duty/Memorial Address/I am... but it when it came to her new releases, I just wasn't interested. At that point of time, I had been a fan for... oh... six years? Something like that. And I just became bored with her, since she had been a part of my everyday life for so long. Sparkle is the sh**, it's so good. But when it was released I just did not care. I even got a little tired of seeing her to be honest.

So I took a break. It's not that I hated Ayu, it's just she's always here, always doing something (which is great for her if that's what she wants to do, but sometimes can be a little cumbersome for fans, you know? 'I just bought this new album of hers!' 'Oh did you know she's releasing another one in, like, two months?' 'Wait. Seriously? Why?') So many quantities is bound to lose a lot of quality. And, to be honest, I was sick of it. I felt that I never really got to enjoy Ayu because Ayu is always changing Ayu xD (Again. That's both a good and bad thing.)

So I went away from the Ayu-fandom for a little bit. I found new artist that I enjoy tremendously and still follow to this day, both big names and small. I began following other people and concentrating more at doing things with my life. Time flew. A couple of years go by and then I was just quickly browsing some Japanese website (I was actually looking up something Namie Amuro related xD) and they happened to mention Ayu was going to be releasing Love Songs. So that reminded me that I haven't checked her out for a while. Then I came back here and, though I've never been the most active fan in the universe, it was kind of nice coming back and seeing how half the fans are still here and still arguing about the same things while Ayu is still being Ayu by not being Ayu and always changing Ayu and trying new Ayu only to go back to other Ayu just to figure out that really she's this Ayu instead of that Ayu and apologizing about being that Ayu while she's singing about not being sorry for being that kind of Ayu whilst trying to be a new Ayu bringing back the old Ayu. (Did I get that right?)

Joking aside, however, I'm really kind of glad I took that time off. It was fun getting to experience all those 'older' albums and concerts without everyone's opinions changing my opinion of it. I ended up downloading and then buying all the albums I missed out on and watching the concerts with this huge grin on my face like I was some ten year old. xD Maybe you should try doing what I did. Just... you know... step back for a little bit. Ayu isn't going anywhere and we're not going anywhere so if you decide to step out for a little bit and grab some fresh air, we'll be right here waiting! And so will Ayu!

[YukiUsagi]

You said everything. I lost interest in Ayu and started ignoring her from 2012. Studying Japanese brought me back, and I'm staying here just because I love collecting, even thought I will not listen to them.

I'm finding other artists. Someday, I will leave her again, I don't know

[se7entheaven]

50:50
Sometimes I'm just tired of her. Maybe it's because of Kumi too

[Violently Happy]

I feel that I'll always care for Ayu as an artist, and a person. I do feel like I've been disconnected towards her new music, and I do feel like something in her music is lacking. I haven't connected to one of her ballads since probably the Party Queen era. I also haven't been buying her music like I used to (Except when I go to BookOff). :/ Although I'm not following her like I used to, I could never forget all the beautiful music she has given me and all the memories that I have with her music. I'm grateful I found her music as I still listen to her older stuff like crazy, and when I hear rumors about her I still get upset, and feel sorry for the way she's treated just because of her age. Hopefully I can reconnect with her newer music, and learn to appreciate the direction she chooses with her music.

[attractive nausea]

Originally Posted by YukiUsagi

You said everything. I lost interest in Ayu and started ignoring her from 2012. Studying Japanese brought me back, and I'm staying here just because I love collecting, even thought I will not listen to them.

I'm finding other artists. Someday, I will leave her again, I don't know

Now that's something i don't understand You are here collecting and giving us HQ quality links of everything yet you don't even listen and enjoy her stuff

Been a fan since 2009 and still love her and listen to her like she's brand new in my life, i lost interest in 2013 but my fandom came back real quick and now i love her even more than before. But i experienced what you (susiowong) are experiencing with my other favorites artists, used to be a big fan of the GazettE and DIR EN GREY but my fandom just disappeared slowly and now even tho i still consider them to be my favs and part of who i am i just don't listen to them that much anymore and don't feel the need to know what they are doing. So i don't actually consider myself a "full" fan anymore because i'm not buying or even listening to them. If someone asked me i'd say "yeah they're my fav band" but i wouldn't say "yeah i'm a fan" because to me being a fan implies being a little obsessed haha.

[mizuki-7]

To be honest when you have been fan of her since the begining of her career or at least since her peak and when you see how she fell from grace in nearly all aspect of her career it's easy for a long time fan to give up on her...the majority of those who have sworn fidelity to her left of the decline starting to be felt ...

It's not my case I only know her since the end of 2009 but I know every aspect of her as singer and I know I will always be loyal even if she lost her spark and her creativity is lacking since some time but I can't help I admire to see how she still continues to move forward and question herself as singer no matter the critics (God knows how much she receives criticism XD).

[hayasaki]

I started listening to Ayu during the release of I am... or RAINBOW era, but i was still so young back then, i began to be so crazy with her probably around Memorial Address or My Story era especially when I saw AT2005 DVD. I was so crazy about her, like she has become a part huge of my life. A day wont end without me, thinking of ayu, even once.

I entered my late teen-age years and entered college, more and more, i started to appreciate Ayu's artistry deeper... But i don't know why or how, perhaps I started to feel a little bit disconnected to her when sunrise/sunset single was released. And that time, i just graduated college and having my first corporate job.

I was still listening to her, but not to the extend when I first went crazy over her many years before that time. Perhaps, during those days, i was struggling to find my place in the world of the adults and got no enough time for any artist, (no, i'm lying. I think i was going crazy for KPOP around that time, cuz shinee and 2ne1 were born).

Though my interest to her suddenly dropped like crazy, i was still listening to her new songs, especially when Rock n Roll circus was released. But i didn't really like the album perhaps except for some tracks. Honestly, i didn't really cared much during that era.

I nearly stopped following her, not until i learned that she released Love Songs... i bought the cd without listening to previews and was blown away. ..i was so addicted to that album. But i think that was it, i didn't really care much for the next releases too. I must admit, the things that happened to Ayu during those days made me almost turn my back. But no, i really can't. She has already become a part of me... and thank God I didn't give up on her.

I've been a fan for such a long time but it was just 2013 when I first saw Ayu live during A BEST TOUR. And i'm 100% sure that that was the moment when I realized that I was born with the A logo on my forehead. LOOOOL

Joined TA and bought LOVE. And ever since, i always make sure to attend her concerts. I really don't know how to explain it, and i'm sure not everyone will understand me. Even some of my friends make fun of me being so loyal to Ayu but, based on what i experienced through the years of my Ayu fandom, there are just high and low time when it comes to fandom.

One day, you are crazy, then the next day you're not. But perhaps for an Artist like Ayu who has already become a part of my identity, its not possible to really just forget her or turn my back from her. Never.

I can probably rest, but i'll always go back to her. She's the only artist i've ever adored this much.

[sitara]

Originally Posted by Miduhyo

Then I came back here and, though I've never been the most active fan in the universe, it was kind of nice coming back and seeing how half the fans are still here and still arguing about the same things while Ayu is still being Ayu by not being Ayu and always changing Ayu and trying new Ayu only to go back to other Ayu just to figure out that really she's this Ayu instead of that Ayu and apologizing about being that Ayu while she's singing about not being sorry for being that kind of Ayu whilst trying to be a new Ayu bringing back the old Ayu.

this paragraph is perfection.
also the funniest thing I've read on this forum in a long time XD

fact is a lot of people still care about ayu, otherwise she wouldn't be able to have concerts this big anymore or sell stuff like crazy. not like she used to, but she is still crazy successful after all this time.

people act as if her music wasn't breaking the top 20 anymore :/

[LONJJONG]

You don't have to care about what she releases recently if you don't like it. I mean forcing yourself to like it will hurt your fandom even more.

I couldn't really balance my fandom priority when I discovered YUI... however as YUI's "HOLIDAY IN THE SUN" and "HOW CRAZY YOUR LOVE" didn't impress me much, I started shifting to K-pop. That made my Ayu fandom even more down, I once thought of selling away my albums. The K-pop boom was around Sunrise/Sunset released as well; I mean I liked the single but not Rock'n'Roll Circus (although I got the album). Then I guess around that time, I ultimately realized my devotion to Ayu, the feeling I never had since becoming a fan in 2004. I listened to old Ayu songs again after not doing so for a quite long period, and I started to complete my studio album collection.

Now I am pretty much out of K-pop bandwagon and only maintain my Ayu fandom. I realize that artists who write about themselves tend to have more longevity in my playlist.

I still listen more to old Ayu songs, but recently I am so into Party Queen and NEXT LEVEL. Sometimes, some songs just popped up in my head and I had the urge to listen to them. Her discography is so diverse and interesting.

And also, after watching her in a-nation, I realized that she is no other than just a human like all of us. She's always so unreachable for me, I can't imagine how she really exists in real life. I finally felt that "connection" with her! For a second, this even crossed my mind: "Why am I so into this woman? She is a human like me!" then she started singing A Song for XX and that made me cry.

After all, you decide your own definition of loyalty. You may look after her recent career now, but you can be selective of what you want like or not. If it doesn't amaze you now, doesn't mean it won't in the future.

[NintendoHTF1242]

I'm in the same boat. I still follow her but when she announces something it's kind of like "whatever" lol

[DonkeyKongRemix]

I am still crazy even if I try to deny it at times...I can't not care about her.

And I just signed up for TA this summer so I'm way in.

[Delicious n Bold]

I'm still excited about when she announces new music and when it is released. It's always so much fun.
I am not excited about the quality of music anymore. Her old stuff is definitely better and there are only a few new songs here and there that actually have a strong positive impact with me.
There's also the controversial opinion of artistic growth (musically). I always like to listen to music and ask if the artist is stuck in the past in relation to the albums they released before the current album/song I'm listening to. I would accuse ayu of that (and thus adding to my deflating fandom levels) but you can say that she hasn't. Sayonara is obviously a natural extension of Colours. But that's really about it. A ONE was good but I found that it's the same stuff she's been doing since 300 B.C. and I find I can't connect with people if they don't grow. I was actually trying to decipher some sort of artistic message behind the album and I actually did find something personally so that was pretty cool! I'll still listen to A ONE but it's not going to be in constant rotation like Colours (most songs) was. Colours obviously wasn't a fan favourite here and people unjustly dragged terminal, but for the songs that werent business as usual, I loved it and my love for ayu grew a lot. I was jamming to her songs and having a great time. But now... Her old stuff I'll definitely listen to because it's great and some stuff like RNRC and Love songs is extremely nostalgic.

[Surreal17]

Originally Posted by LONJJONG

You don't have to care about what she releases recently if you don't like it. I mean forcing yourself to like it will hurt your fandom even more.

I couldn't really balance my fandom priority when I discovered YUI... however as YUI's "HOLIDAY IN THE SUN" and "HOW CRAZY YOUR LOVE" didn't impress me much, I started shifting to K-pop. That made my Ayu fandom even more down, I once thought of selling away my albums. The K-pop boom was around Sunrise/Sunset released as well; I mean I liked the single but not Rock'n'Roll Circus (although I got the album). Then I guess around that time, I ultimately realized my devotion to Ayu, the feeling I never had since becoming a fan in 2004. I listened to old Ayu songs again after not doing so for a quite long period, and I started to complete my studio album collection.

Now I am pretty much out of K-pop bandwagon and only maintain my Ayu fandom. I realize that artists who write about themselves tend to have more longevity in my playlist.

I still listen more to old Ayu songs, but recently I am so into Party Queen and NEXT LEVEL. Sometimes, some songs just popped up in my head and I had the urge to listen to them. Her discography is so diverse and interesting.

And also, after watching her in a-nation, I realized that she is no other than just a human like all of us. She's always so unreachable for me, I can't imagine how she really exists in real life. I finally felt that "connection" with her! For a second, this even crossed my mind: "Why am I so into this woman? She is a human like me!" then she started singing A Song for XX and that made me cry.

After all, you decide your own definition of loyalty. You may look after her recent career now, but you can be selective of what you want like or not. If it doesn't amaze you now, doesn't mean it won't in the future.

I really like this comment.

As for me, ayu is on my everyday life. Even if there are days when I.m not listening to her because I.m discovering new music or I.m in the mood for another artist, she.s still on my mind. For example, right now I.m in the mood for songs (ayu.s) that I haven.t listened in a long time. The rewarding feeling as a fan is when I rediscover her art. Its so fullfilling.

[stepYOU1234]

I was almost disappointed in myself for losing interest in Ayu during LOVE again and CoLOURS and hadn't bought an album since Love Songs. But then last years CDL and A ONE got me completely back on board! I know people don't like the mixing of Last Minute but I'm a bit ignorant to what good mixing is so I love it! Hello Ayu I loved! A year of being one of my most played songs means Ayu is coming back for me.

[oaristos]

I'm still completely crazy about her and can't sleep properly when she announces something new because I get too excited. That's probably because I've been listening to her songs for a few years now, but I only became a true fan a while ago so there are so many things about her I haven't discovered yet, and sometimes I even find songs that I have never heard before. It keeps me excited