Ayu's social networks - Discussion #51

[summerain]

I'm just passing by to see the drama hurricane. Oh, it's pretty bad, I hope you're just ok (even though there are souls here with no salvation).

By the way, I found funny people talking about her looks this way. Where's the feminist motto "you can do whatever you want without being judged" while concerning looks? It seems pretty selective.

[wednesday]

I can't with this thread

I don't always love Ayu's clothes, but that's just my aesthetic. I don't know what she's feeling or what her intent is (if there is even any).

And sometimes one wears something thinking they look cute and they look back and think, "OMG what was I thinking?!?!". Like me today, thinking no one would notice my cat chewed my flip flops, and now looking at them like, "nahhhh I gotta throw these out, I look borderline homeless...".

[summerain]

I'm the first one to say I hate Balenciaga with a passion. Sometimes I want to reply her stories with "STOP TRYING BALENCIAGA HAPPEN, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN", but then I remember I'm living in society and just let it go.

[truehappiness]

Some brands she just loves. Balenciaga, LV, Chanel, Balmain...

[EndOfTheWorld]

I see almost everyone here can admit that it's about the delivery of the criticism that causes problems. Being rude, disrespectful etc. But I think it's also time to admit that two wrongs don't make a right and I think the other side is wrong too. It does edge on the line of bullying. Some users here form a mob and get this high and mighty, self righteous attitude. Judging and looking down on the entire fandom to which they are included in. Expressing things like, none of us deserve Ayu, the fans are her greatest enemy, you shouldn't be here, you're a hater, you're not a true fan. As if they themselves are perfect and it is everyone else that is the problem.
I honestly just like things better when it's more friendly around here and everyone gets to say what they want and sometimes really interesting discussions can happen about Ayu that are insightful and thought provoking. I don't understand this rule of positivity only. It doesn't make sense to me. This is a forum for fans of Ayu to come here and express their views and get the latest news. If everyone just sat there and worshipped Ayu all day this would be such a boring place. Expecting the majority of the comments to be positive 100% of the time is a bit naive. Sometimes what Ayu does just doesn't get a positive reception. It's that simple. That is normal and shouldn't be held against everyone.
This entire issue keeps coming up more and more frequently and I don't think it's sustainable. Eventually it's going to drive everyone away from this forum and we are already losing active members for years now.

[mi|kshake]

Gotta admit, I thought Ayu looked pretty in those photos and didn't think a whole lot of them but seeing these discussions, I have to look back and see what I missed!

Thoughts:

So yes, there's posing but that doesn't bother me in this instance. The dress is elegant and it's nice seeing that colour of lipstick on her.

Originally Posted by EndOfTheWorld

Eventually it's going to drive everyone away from this forum and we are already losing active members for years now.

I love AHS - it's my favourite forum for Ayu and JPop discussions - but I don't hear it mentioned in a good light on other forums lol!

[Chibi-Chan]

Originally Posted by primavera♥

@orbitalaspect


@Chibi-chan

Spoiler:

@Chibi-chan. Your taste, yes. Your taste almost always ends in you making negative assumptions about ayu's personality or intentions. Like we all have things we'd like to see, but not everyone goes as far as to say that someone isn't being their true self or that they're trying too hard to be something they're not just because we don't like it or think they're not good at it. Now ayu has to lose her fear of showing her real face to over a million people on social media to truly be herself? Even artists that post "ultra-natural" photos can do so with an intention to promote something. It just seems like a lot of assumptions are always being made about ayu, some more problematic than others(based on other posts), and some that deal with biases related to aspects of social identity as well. I think it really would create a different experience as a fan (not necessarily better or worse, but different) to at least look at some of those assumptions and where they are coming from. I usually don't respond to many of your posts because I don't have time to write lengthy responses on here often and even today this isn't very much, but I'm happy to engage in dialogue about this topic even if outside this thread and in another.

Maybe it's me, but I don't really get your point? (This isn't meant to be passive agressive, I just don't really think I get it.)
I wasn't saying Ayu tries to be sexy while being not. I was saying, because she tries too hard for me, she isn't anymore. I find her instagram account simply more and more boring, because it looks like every woman's IG. There isn't much of a difference between her kind of pics and the ones my female friends post. Everyone is just trying very hard to be as hot as possible in their pics. It's boring and I don't like this kind of pics.
Trying too hard to look hot doesn't make her a bad person or whatever, it just makes her pics and social media appereance boring and a little emberassing, in my opinion.
If you don't agree, that's fine. I couldn't care less if others agree or not, but I think I'm allowed to voice my opinion like everyone else without being basically told "I don't want you to write those things".
People here are constantly commenting on her weight, that she's too fat or how her breasts look. But somehow people find it more insulting when I say I think she tries too hard to look hot (and therefore am indirectly saying that she wouldn't need to try that hard because she would look more sexy without trying that hard).
If you guys like to read my comments as if I'm betraying the fandom and don't deserve to be here, be my guest. But it's boring when people don't try to argue my points but only comment how they don't like my posts.
Having said that, I don't think Ayu posts her pics because she feels like it, but out of a PR decision. I honestly think that it would do her more good if she would stop trying to look like every basic fashion model and more like herself. From my experience Japanese people respond well to more normal pics of her, when she looks like herself. It makes them point out how nostalgic they feel and how cute she is, whereas those other pics, with strange facial expressions and poses and hundreds of filters seem to provoke comments how ugly she became (btw, I wouldn't say she looks ugly).

[EndOfTheWorld]

最新ネイルはコレ💅 @zakinko_esNAIL
最新マツエク @yuuki019 はハリウッドハイブリッドというスペシャルな日よう👁✨

リップはラシャスのクリアー💄

[truehappiness]

Didn't look at it till now but apparently the people who make that lip plumper posted about how Ayu uses it a while back, lol.

https://www.infracyte.com/luscious-l...y-storm-japan/

IMO, she doesn't need plumpers like this. She looks great in the pic though... that hair!

https://www.bloomin-net.com/product/135

If anyone was wondering, this is the black dress Ayu wore. It's like a hoodie parka maxi dress that Ayu wore a bit... differently. She really makes it look a lot more luxe.

[jbrat2219]

Is all of this drama coming from the picture of her in the black dress? I mean, I can understand if you all are fighting about the shoes, but the dress? lol Does no one remember her lingerie campaign? She definitely tried harder to be sexy in the past!

[love in music]

Originally Posted by truehappiness

Didn't look at it till now but apparently the people who make that lip plumper posted about how Ayu uses it a while back, lol.

https://www.infracyte.com/luscious-l...y-storm-japan/

IMO, she doesn't need plumpers like this. She looks great in the pic though... that hair!

https://www.bloomin-net.com/product/135

If anyone was wondering, this is the black dress Ayu wore. It's like a hoodie parka maxi dress that Ayu wore a bit... differently. She really makes it look a lot more luxe.

I agree, I don't think she needs plumpers either, I feel like she has always had full lips. She does look cute there though and her nails are adorable.

[orbitalaspect]

Originally Posted by Andrenekoi

People also tend to jump to the most extreme conclusions about her character over pretty much nothing, what is also very annoying.

To be completely honest, I originally posted that Ayu in that dress reminds me of one of those moms that dresses up for everything, as though it hasn't registered that she's not 22 anymore. I'm paraphrasing, but I think everyone is honestly talking like they recognize a difference between comments like "XX looks like a f#&÷ beached whale in that dress" and "XX looks like a mom trying hard look young". There's brash delivery and then there's drawing a hypothetical comparison to something. I don't think any of you actually understand the nuance as much as you keep claiming you do. Your actions say the complete opposite every time someone posts something you don't like. I'd be the only person agreeing with me if other people weren't clearly seeing you guys further blur the line between something you think is an insult and something you think is an opinion.

And we've been all over this andrenekoi, but the plain fact remains that you're entitled to call someone's opinion annoying, you're just not entitled to start or contribute to an entire discussion being turned into post after post criticizing someone. That's bullying. And you guys seriously need to learn that these things aren't justifiable because you believe you're doing it for a good reason. It still makes you a bully, and at the very least an enabler. Using my example from before, would you do this to someone sitting at a table with you in public? Would you really find it appropriate to start a roundtable discussion about how much one person at the table should just leave? I doubt you would even not try to speak up for the person being talked to like that.

Again, it's totally cool to pop back with "opinions like yours are annoying because XYZ." But you guys take this rapidly to some major extremes that don't even make sense. You assume all I ever post are criticisms? I've got hundreds of posts on AHS. You need to read every single one of them before you assert lies in order to defend your poor behavior. I wouldn't even estimate 5% of my total posts are criticisms. This behavior and the grasping at straws to explain it are annoying. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys started digging up word usage from the Middle Ages to defend yourself. You guys make vague black-or-white claims about someone you disagree with in order to leverage others' volatility to help push someone out of a space you want to control by your idea of our collective interests without listening to us to make sure you're not just projecting your interests as everyone's interests.

I want you guys to be here and feel like we all want you to be here. But really, make that meaningful. You're sharing a space with A LOT of different people and personalities. The way you see things isn't the right way; it's not even a bronze medal winner. It's just how you do you. Respect others doing themselves. Tons of people find you just as annoying as you find other people, both online and throughout your life. All you can control is how you process and choose to respond, as well as how to respond to it.

You don't get to define what Ayu is to me. You don't get to wrap my years of being here in your oversimplification of what you think I contribute based on the handful of times I've posted since January 1. You weren't sitting in that room with me when MIJ was released and I had to face the reality that years of thinking she'd find at least part of her spark again were spent in vain. And to be honest, it's pretty damn disrespectful for anyone to show up on this forum and speak for Ayu's impact on someone else. It's not your place, no matter how much your experience might conflict with theirs where they overlap in Ayu's timeline.

[Sky High]

Originally Posted by EndOfTheWorld

最新ネイルはコレ💅 @zakinko_esNAIL
最新マツエク @yuuki019 はハリウッドハイブリッドというスペシャルな日よう👁✨

リップはラシャスのクリアー💄

Love her nails, simple but cute.

[megawarrior345]

*reads the last 3 pages*

anyways, Ayu looks 25 and giving me 2002 hair vibes. I prefer her blonde diva looks from a month or so back though. she looks so good lately either way. whatever she's doing, she needs to keep doing it! I can't believe she's already setting up promo. hopefully we get more details soon.

[tokyoxjapanxfan]

How is her skin so perfect tho lol

[xLuna&1LOVE]

Wow, this discussion is hard to ignore and I am not sure if I understood everything right. I guess it is really helpful in a way that members express themselves what has apparantly been boiled up for a while. Hopefully the mods won't delete this, because... even for off topic, I really hope we all now can stand back, look at the other has been writing and try to put ourselves in their shoes. If I have ever been come over as passive aggressive, bullying, discouraging, disrespectful, I am sorry. Also I acknowledge I have said things in the past I am not proud of... one of those things were telling a new member to f off after he said that Ayu was a hot grandma or something like that. I meant it sassy, but I have learned that since we are writing, instead of talking face to face, the other one might recieve the message differently than intended.

I love AHS, and true; mainly to just say out loud my praises for Ayu (I don't have anyone to share my worship with in real life, basically) so sometimes it is really off putting to read discussions like these... or even negative posts, because A) I am bad at expressing my thoughts in the heat of a discussion, it is stressful, and B) being positive just creates maybe a boring, but relaxing place to come together.
Writing this I suddenly notice I am kinda intimidated by members who are able to choose their words wisely and now what parts in my posts are twisted or whatever and for that reason, I try to stay out of any discussion whatsoever.
But from what I read, I see that both sides twist anothers' words, to prove a point perhaps. Stand back for a while, read what has been said, and try to empathize what makes someone saying this... we strive for an opinion-free forum, but yet we don't always practice what we preach. Neither do I, so please don't think I put myself in a better daylight.

On the same hand, even if we ask others to empathize with us (and the other way around) I think we must also keep in mind that some members just talk the way they do. Maybe we shouldn't take it very personal what these people are trying to say. Their behaviour might come off-putting for some, but it may also depend on the kind of type of person you are, and the type you are talking to. You can't change the way someone is... and if you try or point out their flaws, they will defend themselves. Like you would too.

Even though I haven't participated in the discussion, for me it is eye opening. We cannot sink that low as @melissalove described: bullying members in privat message. That is downright wrong and I am shocked this behaviour is present on AHS. I must say, about negative comments such as those from @Chibi-Chan, sorry; I am guilty of thinking somethimes that if there are so many things you don't like about Ayu, I wonder why you were still here. Because of this discussion, I understand the viewing better and I will promise not to think such things again.
Maybe I have wrote a very idealistic post, but let's take a break from this discussion, just to read what has been said (instead of unintentionally reading what is inbetween the lines).

End of essay. Love!

[rikku1994]

Man... Over a dress... All this drama... Over a dress...

I mean, what do y'all expect if you called ayu looking like a mom trying hard to be young or sexy or even not being herself... In an ayu forum? If you state an opinion that is delivered in a way (which may seem rude to some ppl), in an attempt to be funny and sound like Joan Rivers or constantly complain about almost everything Ayu does to sound like an intellectual, then you have to expect someone having an opinion about your opinion, regardless if they agree with you or not, learn to take it. Don't claim that someone is bullying you just because someone disagrees or calls you out on it, like jesus christ, a lot of y'all are nearing your thirties with a receding hairline or hair turning white, we are not teenagers anymore, and I'm pretty sure ppl here can take a little internet comment and not turn into a social issue.

Now as for Ayu's look, I think the dress is nice but that shoe needs to go. Her hair is great, I kinda love the Kylie Jenner overdrawn lips lmao... I miss her blonde diva hair but the kind of hairstyle she has now suits her better.

[KittyKathy]

She looks so skinny here.

[ulfy01]

@snowo That GIF is the most hilarious thing I've seen all week. Perfect description of the situation.

Despite what my current join date says, I've been here for over 15 years. I hardly ever post. We've had our share of situations like this, but this is getting out of hand.

@orbitalaspect I always like reading your posts. I don't always agree with them, but I like reading them. I have to respectfully mention though: you opened your original post with "You guys are going to hate me for saying this, but...". That's essentially acknowledging that it's going to incite people. People here are absolutely going to get incited. That's one hundred percent expected.

I'm not going to lie, I tend to steer clear of negativity about Ayu (getting harder and harder these days). I don't like it one bit. I don't really care what that says about me. I deal with it as it comes though.

That said, I do wish people were kinder to EACH OTHER here. It's ok to voice opinions, it's ok to not agree with said opinions. What's better is to be excellent to each other despite our differences.

[Sky High]

Love her dress and bag.