'BLUE BIRD' romaji and translation - Page 4

masa · #1 5th June 2006, 11:00 AM

You are welcome.
And thanks, Sunshineslayer. I take your advice and edit my first post. (Though I don't understand the difference between "too" and "as well" clearly.)

--> And I gave way to tears as well

>???? might be "kurenai",it means "red" in Japanese....I guess...
I think it's perhaps not so. Because if we use this word, it's common to say "kurenai no sora".

>???? might be "konoseno",it means "this back" in Japanese....
It makes sense. It's perhaps so. But I wait for the official lyrics to come out.

I think the songtitle "BLUE BIRD" is appropriate and necessary. Because if it's not so, we don't know that this is the tale of two birds.

truehappiness · #2 5th June 2006, 10:57 AM

Yure na kumo ga nagare tara

Does that even make sense? LOL. I need to go learn Japanese. :<

Ah~ I've seen something that says yure is to 'shake' or something.. but can also be used to talk about something 'blowing' like wind in the sky or something..

It's anyone's guess until the lyrics come out, I guess. :[

IRIS_intense · #3 5th June 2006, 11:10 AM

Domo Arigato for the translations!!
"Let's go together across the blue sky
Looking down on the white sand beach
No need to have a serious talk
I need nothing except your smile"
You said so and smiled to me ------ i really like this part..i think its better than fairyland..lets hope the PV's better too..

AyuGAME · #4 5th June 2006, 12:08 PM

thanks for the translation
the lyrics was really GREAT...i love it

i love this part
Murmuring about the dazzling sunlight
I camouflaged the tears welling in my eyes

walt1112 · #5 5th June 2006, 12:39 PM

nice translation!

Dustie · #6 5th June 2006, 12:55 PM

Heh... you seem to have actually oversweeted them a bit. I don't know Japanese well, but it's easy to say many translators add their own interpretations to the lyrics, while they're in fact pretty simple.

Here's a translation by ray348 from AHO, which I dare to say is I think more accurate...

Quote:

if the beautiful clouds flow by
if this sky stops crying
I will wake up from my long sleep
by your voice

You watched over this wing on my back
waiting for the season to take off

Let's go to the blue sky and clouds (or "let's go with the blue sky")
Looking down at the white shores
We don't need any difficult conversation
All I need is your smile
You said that and smiled at me

We didn't need any words
I always found my place here
"The sun is bright"
I muttered and camouflaged my teary-eye

Let's go to the blue sky and clouds (or "let's go with the blue sky")
Where ever we end up
If you are hurt
Then I will give you my wing
You said that and cried a little

You watched over this wing on my back
waiting for the season to take off

Let's go to the blue sky and clouds (or "let's go with the blue sky")
Looking down at the white shores
We don't need any difficult conversation
All I need is your smile

Let's go to the blue sky and clouds (or "let's go with the blue sky")
Where ever we end up
If you are hurt
Then I will give you my wing
You said that and cried a little

I gave way to tears too...

Yours are full of bautiful words, but where there such beautiful words in Ayumi's lyrics actually?...

SunshineSlayer · #7 5th June 2006, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dustie

Heh... you seem to have actually oversweeted them a bit. I don't know Japanese well, but it's easy to say many translators add their own interpretations to the lyrics, while they're in fact pretty simple.

Here's a translation by ray348 from AHO, which I dare to say is I think more accurate...

Yours are full of bautiful words, but where there such beautiful words in Ayumi's lyrics actually?...

Both are essentially the same, only worded differently which is what will happen with different translators. I'm not completely fluent in Japanese yet, but I know enough to know that Masa's translation was pretty accurate - there was nothing that stood out like "OMG Ayu didn't say that." If anything it's the other translation that I noticed that in a bit - like I don't see "if" written anywhere in the first paragraph, yet it is in the translation.

Why even bother to criticize the translation anyways? It's not like people have to do these for us; it's strictly on a volunteer basis. And Masa has done soooo many translations - I especially thank him for the 2 lengthy interviews that he translated on his site, without which we would all know a whole lot less about Ayu.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dustie

like for example "Murmuring about the dazzling sunlight I camouflaged the tears welling in my eyes."

has almost the same meaning as >"The sun is bright" I muttered and camouflaged my teary-eye < but it's still not the same words. It just confuses me if she actually used words for "dazzling" or "welling" or rather phrases "bright sun" and "teary eye"...

In that instance, Ayu used the word "mabushii" which at it's most simple definition does mean bright. However, the term mabushi is usually used to describe something like, "Wow, that is so bright it's beautiful." It's a word that has positive feelings associated with it and thus it often gets translated as meaning "dazzling." That's how I would have translated it as well.

truehappiness · #8 5th June 2006, 01:24 PM

Well, you do know that masa has a site dedicated to many Ayu translations and currently resides in Japan as well as posts at a huge Ayu BBS, right?

http://homepage2.nifty.com/morimasa/e-ayu.html <--his site~ it's even at the top of AHS' page! Under the banner thing..

I'm not sure if a translation can be more accurate than another .. maybe just done differently :/

Dreamwriter · #9 5th June 2006, 02:02 PM

thanks for the translations!^^

Dustie · #10 5th June 2006, 02:06 PM

I think ray348 is Japanese actually, so I posted his/hers text. Won't swear to death for it though...

I just noticed it in plenty of translations, on divineayu.com as well. They all have a lot of beautiful words, that sometimes confuse me, as I'm not a native English speaker. Sometimes they seem really oversweet to me, that's why I am asking if it's really how Ayumi's writing, or is it just they way they say - not translate - Ayumi's phrases.

masa · #11 5th June 2006, 02:12 PM

>Yours are full of bautiful words, but where there such beautiful words in Ayumi's lyrics actually?

In which part of my translation did you feel so, for example? Please point out the part. And I'm ready to explain closely. By the way, what is AHO?

truehappiness · #12 5th June 2006, 02:12 PM

Well, if anyone translated Japanese/Chinese/any language literally, then it'd be all boring.. especially since words can mean a lot of things O_O~

I think that a lot of the masa translations are really true to the 'actual' translations aka what is really trying to be gotten across. Anyone can translate, but to put into a poetic way.. :]

Agh. I lose myself. I wonder if masa will come and explain xD

truehappiness · #13 5th June 2006, 02:16 PM

AHO is Ayumi Hamasaki.Org~ It is basically a forum like this, but with a different setting~

See it here: http://www.ayumi-hamasaki.org/ayumibb/index.php

voltron · #14 5th June 2006, 05:17 PM

They're so pretty...it seems like they're pretty recycled, but it's still pretty nonetheless.

ohsixthirty · #15 5th June 2006, 05:49 PM

thanks for the translation masa!

i really like these lyrics, but i do feel like they're a combination of several of her older songs, endless sorrow and no more words for example. still, they are nice lyrics.

Fevenita · #16 5th June 2006, 06:46 PM

Thanks for the other translation as well (I already thanked masa on Ayunite forum)! ^^

I think translating lyrics is more like art than translating them from word to word. Every translation is appreciated, at least I'll get somehow a more correct image of the lyrics and I can choose the phrase which I like better (sorry my English isn't perfect here, I hope you understand). masa has used some different phrases but it still means the same in my opinion, like masa's "Words were not necessary" and ray348's "We didn't need any words" do have the same meaning even though they are said in two different ways. So for me it doesn't matter if some lyrics are translated in a more beautiful way and the others in a more "original" way, as long as the meaning of the lyrics won't change

ohsixthirty · #17 5th June 2006, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fevenita

I think translating lyrics is more like art than translating them from word to word. Every translation is appreciated, at least I'll get somehow a more correct image of the lyrics and I can choose the phrase which I like better (sorry my English isn't perfect here, I hope you understand). masa has used some different phrases but it still means the same in my opinion, like masa's "Words were not necessary" and ray348's "We didn't need any words" do have the same meaning even though they are said in two different ways.

exactly! the translation means the exact same thing, just said slightly different. sometimes on phrase may flow better in english than another, but the general idea is still the same.

Mirai Noah · #18 5th June 2006, 07:25 PM

Thanks for the translation, masa!

Dustie · #19 5th June 2006, 08:38 PM

like for example "Murmuring about the dazzling sunlight I camouflaged the tears welling in my eyes."

has almost the same meaning as >"The sun is bright" I muttered and camouflaged my teary-eye < but it's still not the same words. It just confuses me if she actually used words for "dazzling" or "welling" or rather phrases "bright sun" and "teary eye"...

By reading various translations from Japanese I quickly realised this language is never "literal" and can't be "literaly translated", it rather seem very general when it comes to grammar structures (and sometimes very detailed/complex in meanings when it comes to words) -- hence all the interpretations, as I called it. (Can we maybe say that Japanese can't really be translated, but rather interpreted?...)
English is full of grammar bricks which bound words together, while Japanese seems to have less of those (or they are rather ~hidden~ or ~invisible~), this must be the reason for some differences, but when it comes to words, I'd prefer to know the the closer meaning, rather than a nicer-sounding replacement...

I'm not sure if you will understand what I mean. And I commented on this particular song, becouse it seems the first time I can have any comparison.

I absolutely didn't want to discredit your work...

masa · #20 5th June 2006, 09:29 PM

Basically I try to convey the original Japanese meanings and nuances to English translations as loyally as possible. I think Ayumi is the best lyricist in the field of J pop. Her lyrics in general are very poetic and beautiful in Japanese. So I think it's natural that the translations become poetic and beautiful, too, and that they should be so.

1. "murmur" or "mutter" -- I don't know the clear difference of these two words. But looking up the dictionary, I found "mutter" is often used to tell complaints. So I took "murmur".

2. "dazzling" or "bright" -- I took "dazzling" because I thought "mabushii" corresponds to "dazzling", while "akarui" corresponds to "bright". But I didn't hit upon the idea of using "----" then, and there seems to be a room for improvement.

3. "the tears welling up in my eyes" or "my teary-eyes" -- "Urunde (i)ku" is the progressive form expressing the change. So I took "welling up". I think "urunda hitomi" corresponds to "my teary-eyes". But this line might be OK without "in my eyes". (I'm not quite sure.)

So how about this?

I murmured, "The sun is dazzling"
And camouflaged the tears welling up

I'd like to hear the opinions of English-speaking people on this part.