[romaji & translation] Microphone - Page 4 - Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
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  #61  
Old 28th March 2010, 02:53 PM
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thanks so much for the translation. awesome lyrcis
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  #62  
Old 28th March 2010, 03:24 PM
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thanks
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  #63  
Old 28th March 2010, 05:38 PM
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thx ^^
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  #64  
Old 28th March 2010, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truehappiness View Post
It's either "I can't tell you why" or "I won't tell you why"....

People are leaning towards the latter.
Ohhh thank you!
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  #65  
Old 28th March 2010, 06:50 PM
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is there a kanji version anywhere?
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  #66  
Old 29th March 2010, 12:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masa View Post
To: appears

I think "I won't lose my way anymore" is a good translation, if "waver" sounds too literally. Let me use it please. About the difference of "mayou" and " tamerau", oji-i-san explained quite well. "Mayou" has broader meaning than "tamerau". And I think "hesitate" doesn't fit well in this song. But in the song of "Don't look back", "mayou" is used just as "tamerau". So I didn't hesitate to use the word "hesitate".

And I changed the related part to "The meaning and the significance of my existence".
yes, oji-i-san hit the nail on the head with that one

i'm still unsure about [never come into my sight], which is a direct translation from the japanese, but one would not say this in natural english. i feel a passive reversal i.e "i never want to see you again" fits better, as it still implies that she wishes the Microphone never to enter her gaze, yet sounds more fluent in this case...
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  #67  
Old 29th March 2010, 03:16 AM
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Really love the lyrics of Microphone, Thank you very much for the translation!
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  #68  
Old 29th March 2010, 10:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ayumi~moments View Post
is there a kanji version anywhere?
Here is my nihongo(dictation) + romaji + translation:
Spoiler:

変化はとても素敵な事だけど
自分を失くすって意味じゃない
henka wa totemo sutekina koto dakedo
jibun wo nakusutte imi janai

Change is a wonderful thing
but it doesn't mean losing yourself

根っこにあるこれまでもこれからも
貫ける自分があってこそ
nekko ni aru koremade mo korekara mo
tsuranukeru jibun ga atte koso

It has a point
only if you can hold on to what you have
at your root until now and from now on

確かに限界を感じて何もかもに背を向けて
うずくまっていた日々もあったけれど
tashikani genkai wo kanjite nanimo kamoni se wo mukete
uzukumatteita hibi mo attakeredo

Though it's true that there were days
when I felt my limits, turned my back on everything, and crouched down

(*1) もう迷ったりしない
後悔なんて無い
あなたと出会うのは運命だったの
mou mayottari shinai
koukai nante nai
anata to deau nowa unmei dattano

I won't get lost anymore
I don't have any regrets
It was my destiny that I meet up with you
(*1 end)

あたしである意味を
存在する意義を
与えて教えてくれるのはいつもあなただから
atashi de aru imi wo
sonzai suru igi wo
ataete oshiete kureru no wa itsumo anata dakara

The meaning of my being
The significance of my existing
The one who gives and teaches me them is always you
and that's why

だけどね時々顔も見たくないくらい
憎たらしい日もあるから
もう二度とこの視界に入らないでなんて思うこともあるの
dakedone tokidoki kao mo mitaku nai kurai
nikutarashii hi mo arukara
mou nidoto kono shikai ni hairanaide nannte omou kotomo aruno

But sometimes
there is a day when I hate you so much
that I don't want to see your face
Sometimes I even want you to never come into my sight again

だからって離れてしまえるわけでもない
結局どんな時も一番そばにいて欲しい
dakaratte hanarete shimaeru wake demo nai
kekkyoku donnna tokimo ichiban sobani ite hoshii

Nevertheless I can't step away
After all I want you first by my side anytime

(*2) 重力に押されて 
引力に引かれて
あなたと出会うのは必然だったの
juuryoku ni osarete
inryoku ni hikarete
anata to deau no wa hitsuzen dattano

Pushed by gravity
Pulled by attraction force
It was the inevitable that I meet up with you

何も逆らえない 
敬服するしかない
わかってる あなた無しの私は私じゃない
nani mo sakaraenai
keihuku suru shikanai
wakatteru anata nashi no atashi wa atashi janai

Cannot go against
Cannot do anything but respect
I know that without you I'm not me
(*2 end)

もし完璧なメロディーがあるなら
あたしはまだ出会いたくない
moshi kanpekina melody ga aru nara
atashi wa mada deaitaku nai

Should there be a perfect melody,
I won't like to meet up with it yet

repeat (*1)

あたしである意味を
存在する意義を
与えて教えてくれる あなたが
atashi de aru imi wo
sonnzai suru igi wo
ataete oshiete kureru anata ga

The meaning of my being
The significance of my existing
Who gives and teaches me them is you

repeat (*2)

EDIT: there were the days -> there were days (thanks to ren0210989)




Quote:
Originally Posted by appears View Post
yes, oji-i-san hit the nail on the head with that one

i'm still unsure about [never come into my sight], which is a direct translation from the japanese, but one would not say this in natural english. i feel a passive reversal i.e "i never want to see you again" fits better, as it still implies that she wishes the Microphone never to enter her gaze, yet sounds more fluent in this case...
Thanks for this > yes, oji-i-san hit the nail on the head with that one

Regarding "sight",
firstly I think it's sometimes OK to use less-colloquial words/expressions in our translation because ayu's original lyrics sounds less-colloquial/less-chatty sometimes even to Japanese people. Words like 視界, 重力, 敬服 and a kind of philosophical phrases like 私である意味, 存在する意義 are the examples.

And another thing to consider here is that we need to differentiate between "kao mo mitaku nai / 顔も見たくない" and "kono shikai ni hairanaide / この視界に入らないで". Because ayu repeats one idea twice in different expressions, we need to do the same, and in this case the second expression is less-colloquial than the first one. How does this explanation sound?
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  #69  
Old 29th March 2010, 05:09 PM
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I really like these lyrics. Microphone sounds very good.
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  #70  
Old 29th March 2010, 05:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oji-i-san View Post
Here is my nihongo(dictation) + romaji + translation:
Spoiler:

変化はとても素敵な事だけど
自分を失くすって意味じゃない
henka wa totemo sutekina koto dakedo
jibun wo nakusutte imi janai

Change is a wonderful thing
but it doesn't mean losing yourself

根っこにあるこれまでもこれからも
貫ける自分があってこそ
nekko ni aru koremade mo korekara mo
tsuranukeru jibun ga atte koso

It has a point
only if you can hold on to what you have
at your root until now and from now on

確かに限界を感じて何もかもに背を向けて
うずくまっていた日々もあったけれど
tashikani genkai wo kanjite nanimo kamoni se wo mukete
uzukumatteita hibi mo attakeredo

Certainly there were the days
when I felt my limits, turned my back on everything, and crouched down

(*1) もう迷ったりしない 
後悔なんて無い
あなたと出会うのは運命だったの
mou mayottari shinai
koukai nante nai
anata to deau nowa unmei dattano

I won't get lost anymore
I don't have any regrets
It was my destiny that I meet up with you
(*1 end)

あたしである意味を
存在する意義を
与えて教えてくれるのはいつもあなただから
atashi de aru imi wo
sonzai suru igi wo
ataete oshiete kureru no wa itsumo anata dakara

The meaning of my being
The significance of my existing
The one who gives and teaches me them is always you
and that's why

だけどね時々顔も見たくないくらい
憎たらしい日もあるから
もう二度とこの視界に入らないでなんて思うこともあるの
dakedone tokidoki kao mo mitaku nai kurai
nikutarashii hi mo arukara
mou nidoto kono shikai ni hairanaide nannte omou kotomo aruno

However sometimes
there is a day when I hate you so much
that I don't want to see your face
Sometimes I even want you to never come into my sight again

だからって離れてしまえるわけでもない
結局どんな時も一番そばにいて欲しい
dakaratte hanarete shimaeru wake demo nai
kekkyoku donnna tokimo ichiban sobani ite hoshii

Nevertheless I can't step away
After all I want you first by my side anytime

(*2) 重力に押されて 
引力に引かれて
あなたと出会うのは必然だったの
juuryoku ni osarete
inryoku ni hikarete
anata to deau no wa hitsuzen dattano

Pushed by gravity
Pulled by attraction force
It was the inevitable that I meet up with you

何も逆らえない 
敬服するしかない
わかってる あなた無しの私は私じゃない
nani mo sakaraenai
keihuku suru shikanai
wakatteru anata nashi no atashi wa atashi janai

Cannot go against
Cannot do anything but respect
I know that without you I'm not me
(*2 end)

もし完璧なメロディーがあるなら
あたしはまだ出会いたくない
moshi kanpekina melody ga aru nara
atashi wa mada deaitaku nai

Should there be a perfect melody,
I won't like to meet up with it yet

repeat (*1)

あたしである意味を
存在する意義を
与えて教えてくれる あなたが
atashi de aru imi wo
sonnzai suru igi wo
ataete oshiete kureru anata ga

The meaning of my being
The significance of my existing
Who gives and teaches me them is you

repeat (*2)






Thanks for this > yes, oji-i-san hit the nail on the head with that one

Regarding "sight",
firstly I think it's sometimes OK to use less-colloquial words/expressions in our translation because ayu's original lyrics sounds less-colloquial/less-chatty sometimes even to Japanese people. Words like 視界, 重力, 敬服 and a kind of philosophical phrases like 私である意味, 存在する意義 are the examples.

And another thing to consider here is that we need to differentiate between "kao mo mitaku nai / 顔も見たくない" and "kono shikai ni hairanaide / この視界に入らないで". Because ayu repeats one idea twice in different expressions, we need to do the same, and in this case the second expression is less-colloquial than the first one. How does this explanation sound?
well, i found something interesting... in my dictionary [Xの顔など見たくも無い] is [cannot stand the sight of X] which i think sounds better than the literal translation of [i don't want to see your face]
that being the case,

there are times i hate you so much
i can't stand the sight of you
sometimes i even think to myself
that i never want to see you again

because the literal translation is [never enter into my sight ever again]
but as we've used the word -sight- previously, i personally think it's ok to switch it like this... and you?
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煽動、戦争、懺悔、告解、欺瞞、謎、愛、そして別離…。


歩き続ける 唄い続ける 辛い現実が そこに待ってても 必ず行くよキミはきっと キズつきながら そして  悲しみながら 喜びながら 進むべき道は ひとつだから
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  #71  
Old 29th March 2010, 05:28 PM
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Isn't that taking a few too many creative liberties when it comes to translation though?
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  #72  
Old 29th March 2010, 06:36 PM
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^ the problem is that english and japanese are like polar opposite languages at times, so accurate translations (particularly when it comes to poetical thing such as lyrics) are uber-hard to translate well...

i have endeavoured to retain as much of the original as possible whilst at the same time producing something natural-sounding to english speakers...

personally, i would translate the line
i crouched down and turned my back away from everything
even though the original is
i turned my back away from everything and crouched down
as i find the former to sound better stylistically but it's obviously open to interpretation and everyone will have a different take on it... plus, it's unfortunately half a decade since i've been translating japanese professionally, so i'm rusty as hell :-/
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歩き続ける 唄い続ける 辛い現実が そこに待ってても 必ず行くよキミはきっと キズつきながら そして  悲しみながら 喜びながら 進むべき道は ひとつだから
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  #73  
Old 29th March 2010, 07:35 PM
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> well, i found something interesting... in my dictionary [Xの顔など見たくも無い] is [cannot stand the sight of X] which i think sounds better than the literal translation of [i don't want to see your face]

Well, could you tell me why you think "I cannot stand the sight of you" is better than "I don't want to see your face" for the translation of "顔を見たくない" ?

"顔を見たくない" is a very normal and frequently used phrase. Why do you want to use less-frequently-used phrase for the translation of "顔を見たくない" ?


As for "視界に入らないで", you know the literal translation of it is "Don't enter into my sight". I'm curious what is bad about this "Don't enter into my sight".

I think you said you wanted to avoid using "sight". Then, why do you think using "sight" for the translation of "顔を見たくない" is OK?


Let me explain again.
Ayu's first phrase is "顔を見たくない" and second phrase is "視界に入らないで".
Why do you want to change this order while we can say firstly "I don't want to see your face" and secondly "Don't come into my sight" ?

Anyway this is just how I feel. I simply cannot figure out


As for
> i crouched down and turned my back away from everything
and
> i turned my back away from everything and crouched down
,
I'm not very sure about nuances of English and I agree it's open to interpretation and liking.

I wrote
"I felt my limits, turned my back on everything, and crouched down"
and it's because it's the order of how ayu sings. I think if we can keep the word order as original as possible, it would be better because ayu fans can follow/sing the lyrics while they have a better image of what ayu/they are singing.
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  #74  
Old 29th March 2010, 08:00 PM
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^ yes i completely agree, it's just difficult because japanese and english grammar are usually opposite in form etc, so it's hard to directly translate without sounding ridiculous sometimes

yes, i know i was a bit vague about the sight thing..
basically, in english, you can say "get out of my sight!" (i don't want to look at you right now)
we don't usually include the face in phrases like this... i.e [jesus, i can't even look at you right now... i can't stand the sight of you... etc]
i don't want to look at your face sounds unnatural...

it's like... in spanish, me duele la cabeza... literally the head hurts me - my head hurts...
you know? so we modify it to sound better in the translated language, whilst retaining the original meaning...

but i realise i have thrown a curveball by revearsing the order of the sight thing... but my dicitonary translated -kao mo mitakunai- as -i can't stand/bear the sight of- which to me sounds a perfect translation...
the glitch being that the next sentence uses precisely the word -sight-...
but one would never say -never enter my sight again-...

ok, so howabout we try

'there are times when i hate you so much
i can't even look at you
sometimes i think to myself
get out of my sight and be gone'

P.S i have only had 3hours sleep so i'm not the sharpest thorn on the rosebush right now :-/ 御理解と御了承を戴きます様宜しゅう御願い申し上げます...
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歩き続ける 唄い続ける 辛い現実が そこに待ってても 必ず行くよキミはきっと キズつきながら そして  悲しみながら 喜びながら 進むべき道は ひとつだから
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  #75  
Old 29th March 2010, 08:10 PM
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to go a bit away from appears and oji-san's translation questions...

may you turn your eyes on this part, it's just minor, but like a thorn in my eye:

Quote:
Though it's true that there were the days
When I felt my limits
Turned my back on everything and crouched down
the 'the' i bolded... there's no need for it.
so it should look like this:
Quote:
Though it's true that there were days
When I felt my limits
Turned my back on everything and crouched down
thank you~ ^^
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  #76  
Old 29th March 2010, 08:13 PM
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^ da, i'd put that in my translation but masa-san blanked me on it
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歩き続ける 唄い続ける 辛い現実が そこに待ってても 必ず行くよキミはきっと キズつきながら そして  悲しみながら 喜びながら 進むべき道は ひとつだから
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  #77  
Old 29th March 2010, 09:34 PM
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OMG~~

the lyric is so AWESOME!!!

and AWESOME translation! o.O

thanks masa!
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  #78  
Old 30th March 2010, 04:12 AM
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awesome lyrics!
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  #79  
Old 30th March 2010, 05:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ren0210989 View Post
to go a bit away from appears and oji-san's translation questions...

may you turn your eyes on this part, it's just minor, but like a thorn in my eye:

the 'the' i bolded... there's no need for it.
so it should look like this:

thank you~ ^^
wow, thanks a lot!!
I'm always anxious about my "the/a/(nothing)/one's"

My first translation didn't have that "the", but later I added it thinking it may be grammatically weird if "the" is not there.

I'm happy to know there's no need for it.


Thank you to appears, too!
I think I get a part of your points.

Is it like
"I hit your face" is unnatural (or never used??) and
"I hit you in the face" is natural?

Then, I agree it's natural and fine to say
"I don't even want to look at you" instead of
"I don't even want to see your face"

As for "get out of my sight", I still feel it's a little too natural.
My reasoning is
"get out of my sight" is asking something which is in to go out
but
"shikai ni hairanai de" is asking something which is out not to come in.

They are (to me) different things. But, haha, maybe I'm too picky.

Another thing I'm curious about is if it's better or not to pursue the natural English in a place where there are many non-native English users.

Danke schön for your comments and ideas!!
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Old 30th March 2010, 06:23 AM
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I personally feel that changing what Ayu wrote simply to have it make more sense for English speakers would be compromising her work somehow, haha. I suppose it depends on the style of the translator in the end. I think there are some people who really dislike when translators try to "localize" their translations, if you understand what I'm saying...

Last edited by truehappiness; 30th March 2010 at 06:25 AM.
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