[2004] Oricon interview w/ Ayu about MY STORY - Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
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Old 8th April 2010, 01:12 AM
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[2004] Oricon interview w/ Ayu about MY STORY

This was translated by ayu_iro@AYUNITE! and I found it at Choyan's site, AyuDynasty. Might as well share it here for you all to read!

Quote:
Oricon 2004 MY STORY interview
Translated by ayu_iro @ AYUNITE!

-----------------------------------------

MY STORY’ has 17 tracks, so it’s a pretty long album. When did you start work on it?

Ayu: I began right after this year’s tour was over, so around May or June. I felt very strongly that I wanted to take my time with it.

Did that have something to do with the fact that your ‘Memorial Address’ released last year, was a mini album, and you hadn’t released a full length album since ‘Rainbow’ in 2002?

Last year’s was a mini album, so I feel like for fans who were expecting a full length album, it must have been like, ‘This is it?’. I’m sure they wanted to hear more. So this year I wanted to take my time making this record. Also, during ‘Rainbow’, there was a part of me that didn’t know what I should make my priority anymore, and it felt like I just somehow finally was able to make it into a full album. I didn’t want to feel that way again, and I didn’t want to do that method of creating, or of giving it to my fans. So last year that most that I could possibly do turned out to be a mini album. But I didn’t want to deal with feeling so pressed for time this year, and I didn’t want have a target date set, so I decided to ask if I could start working on it early.

You wanted to put out something that you were really pleased with. So, does that mean that you made the singles you released this year while envisioning the album?

That’s right. I made them with the idea that they’d been on the album. But I didn’t have any kind of concept for the album, I just wanted to put together a bunch of songs that I liked. I didn’t really care if they went together. So I really had hundreds of possible songs, and I gave them to various people to do different kinds of arrangements for, and wanted to just pick the only the ones I liked from all of that.

So you chose songs with that as your inspiration.

That’s right. And they I’d try to sing along, just, ‘Lalala’. Because things that sounds good with just the synthesized melody aren’t always the same as what songs good when you sing.

So you put a lot of thought into these 17 songs. And, you said that you just picked songs you liked; there are a lot of different types of music on this album.

That’s right. There were some songs that I ended up resurrecting. When I listened to it all when it was almost finished I thought, “I should add in one that’s a little fun.’, and I added in ‘HONEY’. So ‘HONEY’ is very light, easy to listen to, and the vocals are kind of silly. (she laughs)

They are quite cute.

I don’t know if I could handle it if it was a single. (she laughs) I made it myself, but I don’t really know what I’ll do when I sing it live. I think I’ll be kind of embaressed. (she laughs)

Only, while it does have those kinds of songs as well, what struck me listening to it was what a personal album it was.
The title ‘MY STORY’ makes me think that as well, but I really felt like you just laid all your battles and pain and hardships right out on the table.

This time, I had the ideas of honesty and freedom in my head as I was writing. So, I wasn’t trying to write something good, or something that would move people, or something that would give people hope. I simple wrote honestly.

Did you get any ideas from the way a song sounded?

Of course sometimes a certain song influenced the lyrics, but I really did the opposite where I decided, ‘I’m going to write about that thing that happened that one time’, and then searched for a song that would fit that.

Oh, there were subjects you wanted to write about that much. Was it because you thought that to be truthful is the true part of your music?

I’ve always been the kind of person who gets into trouble because I’m too honest. I’m talking about as far as my lifestyle, and the things I say. As far as my songs go, with singles there’s always constraints, so I think for the past few years I’ve felt unfulfilled in that way. Like, I have to release them in the same cycle, a really cheerful song for summer, a ballad for winter... I’ve wanted to change that for a while, but since it’s not just my problem, I haven’t been able to really do it. But I really wanted to just do what I wanted to on this album. Because if I don’t feel anything when I listen to a song, my listeners aren’t going to feel anything either. I thought that if I made this album for myself, all songs that I felt something from, my listeners would have to feel something too. I really believe that.

That’s true. In a way artists put half of themselves into their albums, that’s why people can relate to them. If you don’t do that, your feelings won’t reach anyone. But with this album, I almost thought, ‘Is it alright that I’m seeing inside her so much?’. It must have taken a lot of courage.

When I was making this album…it was like…if I had to put it into words, it was like I was in absolute Hell. That’s how painful it was. There was the physical aspect of the hard schedule, and the mental aspect of creating an album, just everything about the process of making this album...can only be described as hellish. Every single day I thought, ‘This has to be the most painful thing in world….Won’t it end soon? Won’t I be finished soon so I can go to everyone?’ I’ve got the idea that it’s my job until a song is born, and then it’s the job of the people who listen to help it grow, so it was like, ‘Hurry and give birth!’ (she laughs)

You’re laughing about it now, but I think that to give so much of yourself takes a really strong will.

Now that it’s all done, I’ve gotten over it, and I’m fine, (she laughs) but at the time, I thought, ‘Why am I digging this up and making a song about it?’ But I also thought that by making a song about things, I could move past them, so everyday my thoughts were just a mess.

Oh, even then, you wondered if you should really bring up those battles?

Yeah. I wanted to hurry and sing them, but I also wondered, if it actually came to singing them, what if I didn’t want to, or I couldn’t?

Was it the first time you got that way?

I think it was sort of like when I was making my debut album. Only back then I had the strength of not being known by anyone, so part of me wasn’t scared of anything. So I think my uneasiness was a little different. But this time it was similar and yet the opposite. I had to fight with a lot of being scared because I was too well known.

Of course. You have to break out of the restraints of being too well known. It’s quite oppressive. But you made me remember something when you just said that it was like when you released your debut album. Listening to this album, I wonder if it was a kind of return to your roots for you. That you had gone back to the original meaning of how you were going to approach music, of what music was to you.

That’s right. This does feel like a start. So it’s not 100%, but I can definitely say that I like this album.

Because this album is you?

That’s right. I feel like I can say, I did everything that I could do, without any excuses. Before, there was always a part of me that was making up a reason to make myself satisfied, like ‘I did the best I could in the time I had.’ But not with this album.

It’s a result that comes from truly facing yourself.

Right. When my tour ended this year, I said that I wanted to live like a human. I mean, I am a human, but I felt like I’d become somewhere between a robot and an alien. Like, I didn’t know what month it was, or what season it was, or what the trends were. I was just going to work and then going home everyday. Before I realized it, I hadn’t kept in touch with any of my friends for half a year, and I knew I couldn’t keep going like that, that it wasn’t a good thing.

Even as someone who creates things.

Right. If you just keep giving out, you never get anything back. Every day I just kept putting out and putting out, but nothing ever changed for me, so I had no way to absorb anything. And I realized at that rate, I was going to have to be creating something from nothing.

So that’s what you wanted to be human again. It is true that if something’s not written by a human, humans won’t relate to it. But, I think this album is very human. That you’re the same as everyone. You’ve got blood in your veins, you cry tears, if you’re worried about something you get depressed.
But I think that you want to communicate things because you are human.
I think that there are so many things that we can all understand, just because we’re humans, born into the same age. There are so many things that we can say, ‘This is like this, isn’t it?’ regardless of position or age or sex. But I myself was starting to lose that, so I think that I also put my feelings of wanting to believe that into this album.

And that’s why you needed to expose yourself like this.

That’s right. Because it I don’t open my heart, no one will open their heart to me. I’ve been saying this forever, but I think people are like mirrors. Like, if I really hate someone, there’s no way that that person will be grinning and thinking how much they love me. I think that’s true for everything. If I’m thinking, ‘I’m all alone. I’m so lonely, everyone is treating me differently.’, then that must be because I did something that made it look to the people around me that I wanted to be treated differently. That occurred to me all of a sudden one day. That it was also like a mirror, and somehow I made them act that way. But really it’s not true. I’m just a person, and you’re just a person, and I’m sure they’re just a person too. So if we just talk we could see eye to eye on so many different things, and the same things make us happy and sad. That’s what I wanted to say on this album.

I can see that. I think that’s why I can relate to it so much. Even if our experiences are different, we’ve all felt the same emotions, so we can see ourselves in that. I really felt that this was an album made not by the super star Hamasaki Ayumi, but by the person Hamasaki Ayumi.

I’m so glad.

It’s been a long time since something cut me to the heart this way. And, the songs in the middle hurt a lot, but the last half is powerful and positive. I felt that that order was also a message about life, that yes, a lot happens in life, but in the end, it’s something you have to make for yourself.

I used the entire range of emotions as my theme for the whole album. That was the opinion of all of us, the photographers, and all the rest of the staff, so the songs and the photos in the lyrics booklet all naturally followed that.

And that is human emotion?

That’s right.

The last song,’Humming 7/4’ is a song about how no matter what anyone says, you are yourself. Because in the end, you have to believe in yourself.

I really believe that. There are people who you influence you, and people who hurt you, and sometimes people whom you hurt. But in the end, if you don’t realize things on your own and have the desire to change it, then you’ll never change. Because I don’t want to be living just because I was born.

So you made this album to change something. You spoke of it being the start of something: has making this made you look forward to how you will be from now on?

Yes. I really am looking forward to it.

Do you feel a sense of release?

Yeah. I really do. I feel like I have wings. Like I can go to all these different place now, and fly even higher.

It really is ‘Humming 7/4’ Huh? Does that mean you made that song to be last?

Yes. Because it’s a song that I really feel says what I was trying to say.

It certainly does feel that that song completes the album.

Right. I thought that I might end it with ‘winding road’ or something else that was moving, but I thought it would be better to end in a way that kind of gave a glimpse of what’s next.

I see. That makes more sense now. So, you yourself have an idea of how the future will be.

Right. So I think that it’s connected to what’s coming next.

So will Hamasaki Ayumi keep changing?

I don’t know if anyone who isn’t me will be able to look at me, and see I’ve changed, but I will definitely change.

When you’re certain that you’ll change, it makes you look forward to the way you’ll be even more. I mean, I’m looking forward to it, as well. And you’ll be touring starting Feb. of next year. Now, you’re tours are never tours based around your albums, right?

They never have been. (she laughs)

Right. (laughter) That’s a lot of fun, and I’m always a little happier going home, but will you ever do a tour based on an album?

Actually, next year’s tour will be ‘MY STORY’.

Really!? So you’ve finally made an album that you feel enough about to do that!

I guess so. (she laughs) I want to show this thing that I’ve made with words and sound visually as well.

Wow. So the changes are beginning already. Maybe the audience will be able to take home something from ‘MY STORY’ at the concert as well.

I hope so.
I especially like when she talks about MY STORY and how there was no concept behind it at all and they had hundreds of tracks to choose from, hahahaha.

Compared to her newer albums, Ayu spent from May/June to October/November on MY STORY. Wow~

Last edited by truehappiness; 8th April 2010 at 02:41 AM.
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Old 8th April 2010, 01:31 AM
Polyrhythm Polyrhythm is offline
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The effort shows. MY STORY is easily her best album.
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Old 8th April 2010, 01:38 AM
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That's an extremely good interview; I really like it and it really delves into that album a bit more, which I like since it's one of my (many) favourites of hers I think. All her effort came out wonderfully I believe, and I always thought it really must've been a tough journey, or at least a long time of a lot of work.

Thanks for sharing the things you find! =]
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Old 8th April 2010, 01:51 AM
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MY STORY is a perfect album. it;s completely rock.
she took half year to finish this album
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Old 8th April 2010, 02:10 AM
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thanks for sharing!
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Old 8th April 2010, 02:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Polyrhythm View Post
The effort shows. MY STORY is easily her best album.
Agreed
MY STORY is love.
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Old 8th April 2010, 03:21 AM
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more reason to love the already perfect MY STORY album. <3

in a way, I feel that Rock 'n' Roll Circus is really similar to MY STORY... about writing lyrics that are just Ayu - honest, heartfelt lyrics... it's really interesting

thanks for sharing this
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Old 8th April 2010, 03:48 AM
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Thanks for sharing!!! This was very interesting!!!
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Old 8th April 2010, 06:36 AM
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It's so cute hearing how she thought she may have been embarrassed to sing HONEY! I love hearing little secrets like that in interviews. As always, thanks for the translation!
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Old 8th April 2010, 08:12 AM
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I think R'n'RC comes really close to this...lyrics wise...
This was my FIRST Ayu album..(I saw it promoted on Singapore TV haha)...so Im really happy to read this. thanks! MY STORY rocks!!!
It definitely created an all new Hamasaki Ayumi from then on
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Old 8th April 2010, 10:17 AM
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Love the story behind MY STORY, haha. Fantastic album, and it is easily one of her best, and this just proves it. She's so deep, and its so true, unless you expose yourself, nobody else will relate to the feelings conveyed in a song.
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Old 8th April 2010, 11:08 AM
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thanks a lot for sharing *.*
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Old 9th April 2010, 12:05 AM
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Thanks for sharing that
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Old 11th April 2010, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by waterballoon View Post
more reason to love the already perfect MY STORY album. <3

in a way, I feel that Rock 'n' Roll Circus is really similar to MY STORY... about writing lyrics that are just Ayu - honest, heartfelt lyrics... it's really interesting

thanks for sharing this
I agree. I almost feel like with RNRC, Ayu was trying to go back to that initial feeling of just wanting to be honest, to work through things in her past or express thoughts/feelings she's had.

I LOVE that she came out and addressed the boring singles-release routine - upbeat summer, ballad winter. I've always complained about that in Jpop releases and I'm glad to see that Ayu feels the same XD
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Old 11th April 2010, 05:50 AM
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Thanks for sharing
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Old 11th April 2010, 07:03 PM
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thx ^^
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