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#41
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oh seriously thank you masa, appears and oji!
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YAYAYAYA GAGAGAGA DADADADA WOWOWOWO |
#42
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To: appears
1. It's good to use [it's ... that] here. But I have some other questions. I feel "kakkowarui" has stronger meaning than "unattractive" and it should be translated to "uncool" or "awkward". The other point is "part". It's clear that she is saying about her mental side, not physical side. Is it clear, if we use the word "part"? 2. I change this part according to your suggestion. Thank you. 3. I think "nothing consumes me with stimulation" is a good translation. Last edited by masa; 28th March 2010 at 04:48 PM. |
#43
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Quote:
2. hmm.. other than [somewhat] I don't have good words right now. I think [a little], [a bit], etc have different meaning than 幾らか/いくらか/ikuraka. If ayu used [ちょっとは/chottowa] here, it would perfectly fit with [a little/a bit], though... Compared to ちょっとは, I believe いくらか is slightly less-colloquial. 3. To be honest, ... I like this [carry a torch] . [胸を焦がす] is one of expressions of a feeling of love. (Please, for example, go to this dictionary page and search for [胸を焦がす]: http://www.kenkyusha.co.jp/modules/0...p?content_id=1) And both [torch] and [焦がす] have an image of fire. How do you all think? Let me come here and check this thread again tomorrow night
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#44
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thx ^^
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#45
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i love this lyrics!!!
it's genuine, reminds me of Duty......
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tatta hitosu no JEWEL |
#46
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It's very beautiful ^^ I love the song =)
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#47
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Quote:
3 this does not sound like natural english... firstly because of the previous sentence, this one must also be in the conditional tense, but furthermore i don't think it's best to directly translate this, rather to colloquialise into -nothing would excite me [enough]- as excite also conveys the process stimulation... Quote:
3 i checked your link, but it didn't come up with carry a torch... in japanese it's differentですよ 口語~ ( に)《片思ひの》恋をする[して悩む];( のために)忠誠を尽くす, 運動をする is -to carry a torch-... one translation of [mune wo kogasu] means to be consumed by something, in the context of this song, "stimulation" / excitement...
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A Song for XY |
#48
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BIG thanks to all of you who is giving us your great translations!
I really like the meaning of this song. I do enjoy Microphone more, yet these lyrics makes me think a bit.
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[Video] Key ~eternal tie ver.~_______LJ Blog________[Video] A History [BIG SALE! Ayu CDs/DVDs/Goods/Ayupans and more!] AHS married to Maro ~13/1-2010~ Spoiler:
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#49
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^
Thanks for reading our translations Quote:
1. How does "It is embarrassing things that I feel dear" sound? 2. It's true that "いくらか" is very similar to "やや". Well, now I feel "If I stay here, it may be easy a little" sounds ok/fine though I still feel slight difference of nuance from the original lyrics. Now I think we have these candidates: "If I stay here, it may be easy a little" "If I stay here, it may be easier" "If I stay here, it may be some easy" <= Is this natural??? "If I stay here, it may be somewhat easy" <= I prefer this, especially if the original lyrics is "幾らか", not "いくらか" My image of "幾らか/いくらか" is "to some extent, but not sure about how much". 3. The point is that "胸を焦がす" is a kind of fixed expression for feeling of love and longing. "Carry a torch for" is also a phrasal expression and I thought it has a meaning near to that of "胸を焦がす", doesn't it??? If you want to use "consumed with", I think it would be like "but there'll be no exciting things (or stimulus) I'm consumed with". But I think the word images of "consume" and "焦がす" are too different. If we say "but there'll be nothing which excites me", it's correct and natural, but I'm afraid we'll lose a poetic impression of ayu's original lyrics. My image of "胸を焦がす" is "my heart is secretly on fire for love/longing". ok, mine is here and I'm waiting for any comments again
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#50
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I know that usually this phrase "mune o kogasu" is used for the feeling of love. But it isn't in this song. She is using this with broader meaning. That's why I chose the word, "enthusiastic".
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#51
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Quote:
I'm talking about original image of that phrase. I feel it's interesting ayu combined this phrase with "刺激 / shigeki" (and this combination isn't very strange because the feeling of longing has a broader meaning than love). I'm trying to think how I can convey this impression. Maybe we can have some candidates and leave them to readers. EDIT: If we want to use enthusiastic, how about these? "but there'll be no stimulus which makes me enthusiastic" "but there'll be no stimulus I'm (or can be) enthusiastic for" (I know these two convey different meanings and both of them are less-colloquial, though ...)
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Last edited by oji-i-san; 29th March 2010 at 12:26 PM. |
#52
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Quote:
regarding the 幾等か question, i find 'slightly' is a better translation than 'somewhat', what do you think? i found an interesting translation of 刺激の無き事 - lack of inspiration. so if we substitute stimulus for inspiration, we can put "staying here might be slightly easier, but nothing would consume me with what i need to be inspired"
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A Song for XY |
#53
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Even though I have heard this song just once, I've been in love with it ever since. <3 I love the lyrics, Ayu's vocals and the music. This song really caught my attention.
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#54
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^
^ mmm, "slightly" means "very little/small" and means it clearly, doesn't it? I think "somewhat" has more amiguity, doesn't it? I feel "somewhat" is closer to "幾らか/いくらか". Compared to "slightly", I think "a little" is better. Currently I think "be somewhat easy" is my first choice and "be easy a little" is my second choice. Anyway this is just how I feel and I'm not sure the nuances of English words. As for "consume" and "inspire", I still think images/impressions of these words are a little far from "胸", "焦がす", and "刺激", ... If we try litral/poetic translation, these are my choicse: "there'll be no stimulus which I carry a torch for" "there'll be no stimulus which I can be enthusiastic for" "there'll be no stimulus which makes me enthusiastic" If we try free translation, I think "there'll be nothing which excites me" "nothing will excites me here" are fine enough. This is just how I feel, again.
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#55
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Quote:
dude, i can see you like this -carry a torch phrase- a lot no? but i'm afraid its not appropriate here... i put it in japanese before, it's more about feelings of unrequited love etc, and mune wo kogasu on it's own does not express this... (off-topic, but there is a similar phrase -to burn a candle for- which u might also like? ) so ok, what about -i suppose it would be easier if i stayed here, but nothing would make me burn with excitement-
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A Song for XY Last edited by appears; 29th March 2010 at 08:11 PM. Reason: obscenely poor grammar... bad appears, bad boy *spank* blame it on sleep deprivation \(>_<)/ |
#56
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Wow, what a very very SHORT lyric.. o.O
but anyway, it's a nice and neat trnslation. Thanks masa!
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Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another... |
#57
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Thank you so much guys! I haven't loved the lyrics of one of her songs this much since I read the translation to "identity". Songs/lyrics like these remind me why I love her so much.
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#58
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Thanks to Masa...
Thanks to Oji-san... Thanks to appears... For the awesome translations. You guys kick ass
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I need a new signature lol xD Ayu stans are Fugging scary. |
#59
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interesting. love both microphone's and this lycris =)
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#60
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Quote:
I feel "easier" is ok. And I don't know if we need "i suppose" and I'd follow the word order of the original lyrics. So, my modified version would be like "if i stay here, it might be easier" though I miss the literal translation of "ikuraka". ^^; > feelings of unrequited love, etc I'm curious about "etc" here. As a native Japanese, I'm sure the image of "mune wo kogasu" is something like "my heart is secretly on fire loving/longing something" So, I'm curious if there is any English phrase which fits this image. > to burn a candle for Is it commonly used for the meaning I wrote above??? > i suppose it would be easier if i stayed here, > but nothing would make me burn with excitement It sounds natural. I like the second line if we try a free translation. That's all for now. Please don't forget all of them are just how I feel!!
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don't look back, hamasaki ayumi, masa, rock'n'roll circus, translation |
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