[Translation] Latest TA post [19th May 2017] - Health and ear condition - Page 5 - Ayumi Hamasaki Sekai
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  #81  
Old 21st May 2017, 05:28 AM
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So horribly sad. I kind of felt like this day would probably come but it's still shocking. I am so sad for her because I can't even imagine what kind of dark place she could be in right now.

I just think there are so many more options than she realizes. I'm really inspired by her "show must go on" spirit, but I feel like she's hurting herself. It's a choice she will make, but it still concerns me. Performing is such a big deal to her, but I feel like in life we are given obstacles that force us to take a new direction and it's like she just can't manage to do that, which I think is totally understandable. But, if she just eased off from the constant touring and the strain she puts on herself, she could find a compromise, I would think.

To me, her lyrics are so endearing. As sad as it would be, if she ever did have to retire from performing, at least, she could become a lyricist for other artists. There's still a place in the music world for her even if she has to make changes.

Anyway, that's kind of just me thinking out loud, I guess.
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  #82  
Old 21st May 2017, 05:33 AM
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Originally Posted by UHPlus View Post
She really should consider retiring after her 20th anniversary celebration...

Professionalism also means that you should take care of yourself in order to do your job well...
I hope she'll do just that.

I agree with the people who say that she is afraid now and wants to give as much performances as she is able to before she turns completely deaf.

But as much as I love her and her music and as much as I can't imagine my life without getting new songs or performances from her, I mostly want her to stay healthy. Although I do understand her sentiment that she can't live without making music and her fear of being useless should she ever stop with it, I think she needs to take better care of her body.

So I really hope that after her 20th anniversary she will at least take a longer break to see to her knee and ear. I have hearing problems myself lately, tinnitus and sudden hearing loss, and this is not fun at all. And as grave as her TA entry sounds, I really hope that her hearing will not give out so soon.

My heart goes out to you, Ayu. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid. We all respect you for whatever decisions you make, but please take it easy.
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  #83  
Old 21st May 2017, 05:39 AM
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Last few years I lost interest in Ayu and her music, but this news... She should take care of herself! Fans will understand, they only want the best for her, right?

I still have to decide whether I think it's brave or foolish of her that she still wants to continue. I do admire her determination.
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  #84  
Old 21st May 2017, 06:20 AM
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You can he brave and still make decisions that are not the best for your health. But as complex beings we have the ability to value different things in our lives. It is hard sometimes to understand the mental space someone is in when they are being faced with completely changing their lifestyle and losing one of their passions. Ayu has a lot more to her life that is periodically hinted at in interviews or just from reading in between the lines that I think we don't always think about. And thats because I tjink we don't always remember that she is a person with serious feelings. She is a rich celebrity. But her life contains a lot of loss similar to our own. I can't imagine the time she had after ending such a long relationship with Nagase and finding herself in a new space. And then still searching for love after that that still to this day hasn't lasted. That probably is really painful and hard for her but she doesn't show it. She's lost friends, she keeps going. I remember reading about her poor health and eating habits (such as starving herself for an image) from her early career. But she even clearly worked on that and today is probably as fit as ever. To be presented with losing the main parts of your 20 year career must suck especially when it's one thing that is constant for her.

I think saying her music is stale is an opinion and wouldn't change her mind at all. And taking a break does not mean she'll come back refreshed or make better music or have more ideas or save her career and improve sales. There are examples of artists who do that and come back with music their hardcore fans still dont like. There are also artists that come back and have music loved by fans but that doesnt sell well at all and even significantly worse than before they disappeared. People just forget about them.

Ayu shows a lot of her lifestyle efforts and she did a lot of strength training and seemed to eat better. Her body shows it with those muscles lol. I think she is trying to take care of herself while maintaining her career but it is proving to be difficult. I'm sure even when she makes determined statements, she'll still second guess herself which is good because these things are serious.

I really am worried about her mental health sometimes due to what she seems to go through in her life. And your state of mental health and general feelings and passions can inform decisions like this. I dont associate that with "stupidity."
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  #85  
Old 21st May 2017, 06:44 AM
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This is such devastating news. Suddenly all I could hear is the song HAPPY ENDING playing. I just wish for her to be happy, and I thought she actually was for some time. This story feels like a bad end.
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  #86  
Old 21st May 2017, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Earth_maiden View Post
I have so much admiration for her, she is amazing. She goes through all of this and people still comment on her weight. She has enough to worry about.
Actually, the knee surgery would explain why she may have gained some weight.
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  #87  
Old 21st May 2017, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by ayu-michan View Post
This is such devastating news. Suddenly all I could hear is the song HAPPY ENDING playing. I just wish for her to be happy, and I thought she actually was for some time. This story feels like a bad end.
Well, the last sentence of HAPPY ENDING says...

"Well, I know better than anyone else
That a happy ending never suits me"
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  #88  
Old 21st May 2017, 08:26 AM
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Such sad news. My heart goes out to her.

We know she prefers to bear the burden alone, but I hope she'll allow herself to lean on her team and friends more now.

I'll admit my initial reaction was "Rest more! Perform less!", but as others have already mentioned, we don't know the entire situation. Maybe her right ear is at the point where it'll worsen even if she does rest and she's trying to squeeze in as many performances as she can because of that. We don't know.

I feel guilty for being so harsh on her performances now, though. I don't watch her live performances anymore because her current performance style just doesn't do it for me, but she does put a tremendous amount blood, sweat and tears into them. I shouldn't forget that.

This must be so frustrating for her. I hope she'll be okay.

Last edited by tenshi no hane; 21st May 2017 at 08:48 AM.
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  #89  
Old 21st May 2017, 08:58 AM
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I am a horrible fan. I honestly hope that TA entry is just to get sympathy and attention from fans/non-fans.

News like this should be reported by a third party, nobody does it themselves.

On a side note, i hope she can leave avex and join a new label who can treat her sincerely with real thoughts and ideas instead of using the same old trick which doesn't surprise anyone anymore. We are the hardcore fans, we take whatever she offer.
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  #90  
Old 21st May 2017, 09:02 AM
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as a human i would say, ayu - stop it and take care on yourself. But ayu is so self-driven and she does what she wants to do. when she says that the stage is the only place she can live, than she shouldnt give up that one thing which helps her the most. the sooner than later, she will have to face it.

get well soon ayu,
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  #91  
Old 21st May 2017, 11:39 AM
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I am in such a shock right now. As somebody sadi, that explains a lot, her being off recently and maybe even the shorter tracklist for this tour is the reason for that. Also I think a lot of people judge the situation negatively because they think they have all details in terms of her medical history etc ^^ I know Ayu seemed to be pretty open about her life but in all honesty we may know 1% of her most private areas like health. I don't think like dwelling on "maybes" (maybe she has wanted to live to the fullest as the artist knowing her worsening condition?) cause now is now.

It is just a really sad moment. I have been a fan since 2006 and Ayu was my first musician I started following because the moment I heard her voice I felt that this was the person i can easily connect with on emotional level, even though I didn't understand lyrics then (that changed quickly). In the course of years I had no break in following her, the ancitipation for new songs, albums, music videos and tours especially was so intense and gave me a really positive energy. Also whenever I was in a bad moment in my life listening to Ayu's songs contributed largely to my piece of mind and not letting me rot in depression. I associate many of her songs with very specific memories, important ones, both very happy and very sad. Her lyrics ,even though the theme was often repeated, have always been such a powerful push for me. Not to mention her passion for work has always inspired me to do what i love. Yesterday I watched "Step by step" and oh gosh how relevant it is now:

"One more step, so that even if it becomes
The last step we’ll ever take, we won’t regret it
One more step, because our courage to step out
Holds more meaning than taking 100 steps"

I have so much respect to Ayu and even if she slows down very much in her music profession, I will always support her because what she has given me and many other people is priceless. Love her.
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Last edited by maxikot; 21st May 2017 at 01:48 PM.
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  #92  
Old 21st May 2017, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by adrtwb View Post
On a side note, i hope she can leave avex and join a new label who can treat her sincerely with real thoughts and ideas instead of using the same old trick which doesn't surprise anyone anymore. We are the hardcore fans, we take whatever she offer.
Serious question, do you think avex doesn't give ayu the freedom she wants? Her sales are as low as they've ever been, her image is poor after two divorces, her tours are ridiculously expensive and aren't sold out (when was the last time her tour completely sold out?)...

Ayu was the driving force behind supporting Max all those years ago. If avex was insincere in their support of her they would have scaled back their financial support
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  #93  
Old 21st May 2017, 12:58 PM
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tbqh. I feel bad for her but she is acting like a stupid spoiled child and if any fan would be mad at her for not being there for some years or for any live concert in the future, he would be even more stupid.

She should take a long break like Utada - and if she can#t bear it, then just focus on recording for now or produce other artists or whatever.

There is a time when you gotta say stop, even if it is your most precious thing (and it actually happens to a lot of people doing sports - professionals or not)

I can't and I won't support her current decision.
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  #94  
Old 21st May 2017, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrtwb View Post
I am a horrible fan. I honestly hope that TA entry is just to get sympathy and attention from fans/non-fans.

News like this should be reported by a third party, nobody does it themselves.

On a side note, i hope she can leave avex and join a new label who can treat her sincerely with real thoughts and ideas instead of using the same old trick which doesn't surprise anyone anymore. We are the hardcore fans, we take whatever she offer.
I dont think ayu would ever leave max. She holds him very highly.
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and the whole fat thing, I think its mainly just her costumes and her height, she looks taller on DVD but shes actually quite short and with outfits especially with short skirts and broad shoulders, will make her look like that. It also usually means she has a second outfit underneath too.
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I think the main fact is ayu does not want to stop yet, maybe she feels if she stops, she may miss her chance to ever return. She could still do music and release stuff, which would be better on her ear, but her love seems to be more in her shows and her fans at the moment
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  #95  
Old 21st May 2017, 06:13 PM
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I've just read the news... and something has really broken inside of me. I feel that an extremely important part of my life and myself is about to disappear forever.

I'm terribly sad for her and wish her strength to overcome all this darkness. Again.

Such a unique and strong-spirited person she is...

"Is this your beginning?
Is this your demise?
Have you given up?
Are you standing firm?
Have you become defiant?
Are you in despair?
Whatever they say, just move forward
That’s what you told me"
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  #96  
Old 21st May 2017, 06:14 PM
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I became her fan in 2010 and have always thought her so strong for continuing her career with one deaf ear. Since then her music has helped me through many tough situations. Knowing she may become completely deaf makes me so sad. I hope no matter what she's able to continue in music as a songwriter or something at least since that's what she loves but I wish there was a way she could get better. Even though I want her to rest there isn't a guarantee she'll improve and it's ultimately her choice.
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  #97  
Old 21st May 2017, 08:00 PM
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The main thing that hurts her knee and her hearing is the live shows. She doesn't need to quit music, she just needs to quit these crazy big concerts/tours.

I know exactly what it's like to have to quit your life's vocation because of a health problem. It happened to me. But guess what? Life goes on. You cry, feel depressed but then find a new goal and work for it.

In her post she implies "please let me keep performing!". Well... no one is stopping her. At all. People just want her to take it easy and scale down on the concerts. For her own good.
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  #98  
Old 21st May 2017, 10:13 PM
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So many thoughts, I was thinking about Ayu's situation on my bus journey on the way home today.

At first, I didn't really know what to say because I didn't feel anything reading the initial news. I think because, in a way, I don't know what it means - I still have a lot of questions. It was only reading the official translation and everyone's reactions that it hit home.

I do think continuing with a 60 date tour is a mistake. Everyone would understand if she scaled it back. I remember once, a while back, someone mentioned on the forum that she should become a studio artist instead of touring and I think this would be a good idea. However back to when I was talking about "I don't know what it means". Is she continuing the tour because the clock is ticking regardless and she wants to perform as long as she can and have no regrets? Is the time scale for her going completely deaf longer? (10 years away?) Can she improve her condition by quitting live performances right now? Is her deafness more imminent?

Like Zeke mentioned, I can't help but think of the CNN interview where she says "Without music I am nothing, I die" or words to that effect.

I remember reading Arama's April's Fools story and - no offence to anyone who believed it - thinking "Pfftt, who is going to believe this? Ayu would NEVER retire!". I always imagined that she would continue releasing albums into her 50s and 60s like Seiko and Yuming. I can't really imagine coming here and not anticipating new music news and just talking about "the good old days".

I am maybe thinking too far ahead but I've no doubt that she would have a career as a lyricist ahead of her and that we would continue to get remix albums.

As a new year begins, I always tend to look forward to new albums by my favourite artists as some of them release a new one every year. I especially did this with Ayumi - getting through the year by looking forward to a new album release, followed by an arena tour, A Nation performance and CDL and all the stuff in-between such as covers and track lists being revealed. I enjoy reading everyone's reactions to new releases and checking what Ayu had posted on social media on a daily basis. It will be weird not to have that timetable.

I wonder now what the 20th anniversary will bring?

I also wanted to say that I totally understand everyone's views here.

Last edited by mi|kshake; 21st May 2017 at 10:17 PM.
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  #99  
Old 21st May 2017, 10:29 PM
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As I stated before, and it is just my view on things, she is the only who knows what is right for her, but sentences like "I'll die without music" are just a bit theatric don't you think? Like dreamally mentioned, life goes on and no one ask her to quite. her condition may also don't get better by performing life, but it certainly won't worsen at fast as it does know. Performing and being on the road is like doing a high amount of sports everyday.

Even if she goes on now, there might be a high chance she can't even record anymore after this - and what is she left with? Exactly what she is fearing now only that she is choosing the completely wrong path. Can any of you really say "it maybe is her last chance to meet fans" with a clear mind and is that really what you think? I still think that what she is doing is crazily stupid to an extend I can't even put in words.

She just needs to shift her goals and that she is not capable of doing that really makes me question her mind again. She always seemed to reasonable and reliable to me in the past. That is all gone since a few years.
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  #100  
Old 22nd May 2017, 01:13 AM
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You can burn me at the stake and even though I am saddened by this news, to be honest I find it extremely sad that "someone's life would be over without music". Music can be a driving force but there are so many more important things than applause.

She wouldn't be able to perform forever anyway, and what's the point of that when you come back home and you're completely alone? The ending of Sweet Season PV always comes to my mind... Fans' love means nothing when at the end of the day you return to your empty house without a family of your own. Just my 2 cents... Artists who find a balance between career and private life are the happiest imo.
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