ayu's DIARY entry 7/31/2009
 

An urgent message from Ayu which clearly involves a fan (gender not specified), particularly someone in TA...

An emergency...
7-31-2009 3h17

...which caused me to write this message.
Tomorrow, we will have a general meeting for a-nation, and even though I will admit that the stay in Kumamoto is not easy, I will not scorn, and I am apologizing because I am about to write a very personal message. Anyway, it involves a TA member, like you all are. So, forgive me. Or, rather, please join me in my message.
We must not abandon living!!!!!!!!!!
Stop wanting to go, and go home to your home!!!!!!
Me, and the members of TA, who are your friends, are by your side!!!
You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are not leaving you alone!!!!!
So, I must say, please stay alive.
Continue to live.
Yes, there may be in obstacles in life more difficult than others, but do not have it otherwise.
But, I will not let you down.
And, you know, there are many messages that have arrived, TA friends!!!!!!!!!!
All will pray for you...
All will support you...

---

To all of you
7-31-2009 12h24

...really, really, thank you all for the messages.
I trust that all of our prayers will be answered.
Because, it is to believe that it is the substance of our hope.
Today, I will go to the general meeting, full of hope, with the treasures of my heart vibrating.
A-nation starts tomorrow, and even though some of you cannot participate, there will be those of who will be able to, and together, we will create our best summer memories together.
I am pleased with the TA who will be able to be there.



Japanese-French translation by cy@AyuAngel.com
French-English translation by me

So, I'm assuming a TA member either is sick, or wants to suicide? ;~;
That's so sad! I'm happy Ayu is calling out to him/her!
Thanks again!

I think that TA member is being very sick. Even if he/she wants to commit suicide. It's incredibly mean and irresponsible letting Ayu know things like that...she's probably scared to death other him. Especially after it's likely her friend committed suicide also...

That person is really mean or very sick to do something like that...

I wonder if she'll tell us what's wrong? ._.;

^ Probably not. I think it's weird how she posted something so personal in the first place. Poor Ayu she'll be terrified.. "/

gosh... sounds more suicidal than illnes to me...
but as much as i feel the TA members pain in life, it's not fair or even remotely sane to let Ayu know you're about to commit suicide, it can put a lot of pressure on her and carin as she is it WILL affect he deeply...

hope it all goes well :yes

wow...hope the TA member is ok...it was nice of ayu to put a message of encouragement.

omg.....what a message...~ and ...i wonder what that TA member did that allowed her to get this info~ ..

i agree! this is quite rare. perhaps he/she just wanted to draw attention.
thanks for translations btw.

seems like the someone in TA wanted to commit suicide
ayu must have been teriffied :(

thanks for the update Chelsea

it appears like he/she wanted to die and posted it on the TA website... in any case, I'm touched by how much Ayu cares! ~_~

Thanks for translations!

ganbatte!! omg we support him/her!! <3

after watching Sunrise, yes, is not all black after all... we have each other as well as ourselves :D

i wonder what happened..

It's so nice that the member actuall confided in Ayu. I mean...it just goes to show how strong this idol-fan bond really is

thanks for the translation~

hope he/she will be ok ..
ayu's so kind ..

This.

i think this person felt ayu was the only person they could tell.

i also almost committed suicide some time ago. i thought about it alot. i wish i'd had ayu back then.

i'm glad ayu is trying to reach out to them. i will pray for that person too, ayu!

Thanks for the translation. I hope the person is alright, ayu is such a caring person

Wow that was weird... It's probably not the first time a TA member decides to kill them self since japan have the largest amount of self-killers but its probably the first time someone say it to her... Then I must say, thats a pretty selfish person. But I wish the best for him/her and that he/she will keep on living and find happiness.

I realise that people have feelings of wanting to commit suicide and I also realise Ayu's lyrics must have saved a lot of people from committing suicide. But I feel personally as if this person should get professional help, Ayu isn't a psychologist, a councillor or a psychiatrist.

I've had friends in the past who've threatened to commit suicide so many times to the point where I myself am emotionally burnt out with it. I feel as if this is what the TA member has done to Ayu...it's great he can confide in someone, but Ayu is a famous singer and it makes you wonder whether other TA members will do the same thing...

It'd be sad if they did because I can totally see people abusing Ayu's kindness, which is what I feel has happened because what can she really do for this person? She can post blogs, but that's not going to help their mental illness is it?

Yeah Ayu is an entertainer, its a bit unfair to unload such complicated problems on her. Shes probably freaking out since now she may or may not control what happens to this kid next. If this person doesn't have anyone to talk to, seeking professional help is best. Her website isn't Sunday morning at church.

This message is really moving. Whether the fan has done it for attention or not, can't be judged. We don't even know what is going on. But I'm quite sure that her messege can also support and help other people in such situations.

I hope this person can work things out..ending your life is never the answer.

Ayu has such a big heart.

thanks for the translation

that's terrible! Suicide isn't the answer, never! :no
It's true.. Ayu has a big heart, but that guy needs to talk with someone else D: like a psychiatric.

btw thanks for translations

People here forget that Ayumi lives in Japan,
and in Japan not many people do suicide for attention,
Not many people will say "I am gonna suicide, look at me."
It's a burden on everyone else, so they suicide quietly.
I think she just found out that this person might have done so,
And was moved by her story...

Anyways, I feel really happy about this message..
And I will hope for those TA members~~

I wonder what's wrong with the member... It's soooooo touching that Ayu cares so much :luv2

aww.. this is sweet message from ayu
I will pray for him/her with you ayu and TA~

I don't know the meaning much. But I know it sounds serious.

Well...I do understand where you're coming from and it's great that her TA can rely on her...but I think there's such a thing as relying on Ayu too much. From now on, there's nothing Ayu can do for this person, so it'd be terrible for the news to reach her he did commit suicide.
If he didn't and was saved by Ayu's blog. That's great...but what if there's a next time?
I've also had thoughts like this at least twice in my life. But I would never be able to tell someone like Ayu, I've always known it's better to go see a professional about such matters, which is what the TA member should have done in my opinion...

Genie (is it okay if I call you that?), I'm really sorry about your story. I get what you're trying to say about that TA member... but it's not like you actually went to comment on the TA website that you have been feeling suicidal too.

It's like... if I were Ayu, personally, if I know a fan wants to commit suicide, I would be really worried and freaked out, especially when like a close friend of mine actually committed suicide as well.

I mean Ayu can say stuff like "Don't give life up!", 'You're not alone!", but in the end, it also depends on the person himself. I have had suicidal thoughts before, and I know even if all my friends were to give me their opinions, ultimately, it's also up to me to make that decision. ^^

Btw, I hope you're feeling all right now...

oh tat is really a v personal msg. Hope it's not gonna affect Ayu too much. It's nice that she cares..

she's so caring! it sounds as if someone was thinking of committing suicide. i really respect her for reaching out and using her influence and power to benefit others.

Thanks for the translation

What a deep personal message, Truly hope the best for this person

it seems a member wanted to suicide...it's beautiful that ayu has written a personal message to him/her. She's not just a star but a warm-hearted person.

I feel bad this person worried Ayu so much.. :/ But it's good that Ayu helped them.

omg it's terrible
Ayu is so nice to think about her fans
I'm so proud of her!

thanks for translation

thanks!