The Happiness of Ayumi Hamasaki

Uemarasan · #1 1st January 2011, 09:00 PM

I'm a little surprised about some of the negativity and doubts surrounding the big announcement. I'm genuinely happy for Ayu, but it also got me to thinking about something regarding the relationship between fans and their idols. So I just wanted to ask: do fans have the right to have a stake in the happiness of the people they admire, people they do not know in REAL life? Why?

My take: I mean, for God's sake, she's 32 years old. She's an adult who can take care of herself and she's capable of making her own decisions. This isn't some sort of immature clueless high school romance; I am sure they know what they're getting into.

Sometimes people just click instantly. Love doesn't have any predetermined lengths or limitations. And honestly, people, please, your ages are showing. The older you get the less time it takes for you to know if you can see a future with someone. By the time you're 30, you've gone through all the crap and now you can see through the BS when it comes to people and relationships, especially when it comes to people of high emotional intelligence like Ayu. Sometimes you just know; it depends on your emotional maturity. You don't need to waste time. I even bet that Ayu has had a lot of boyfriends and flings that her fans know NOTHING about ever since Tomoya Nagase happened. You'd be surprised about the things you never know about people, even your friends.

I wish happiness for the both of them. Let her live her OWN life and let her make her OWN mistakes, if it comes to that. Ayu should not live for anyone but herself.

It's also disappointing to find so many hypocrites in this forum, fans who want the best for Ayu but only if it is on THEIR terms. But that's just what I think.

EDIT: I just wanted to add this question since most people don't bother reading through all of the posts and I wanted to expound on why I started this thread

For those who are afraid that Ayu would not be as dedicated to her career after her marriage: has it gotten to the point that for Ayu the happiness of her fans is more important than her happiness and that people subscribe to this? Or has the happiness of her fans even become her happiness? That is something I don't know how to feel about yet.

I mean, for once, Ayu will be living for something other than the happiness of her fans.

chocopockymaster · #2 1st January 2011, 09:11 PM

I agree with absolutely everything you said. I'm disgusted at the amount of negativity from some people--it's her life, she's free to do anything she wants. As long as she's happy, shouldn't you be?

ren'ai · #3 1st January 2011, 09:11 PM

A+ post Uemarasan

My answer is that no, fans shouldn't have any say in her personal life. I find it really sad that people want to control her and her life... why? Just because they pay for her music and that instantly makes them justified? I think those that have any problems with her personal life are lacking something in their own and that's just sad. She's a singer, a performer, an idol etc but that gives no one the right to live her life for her, no matter how much a fan dished out for her latest album or live or spent years dreaming of meeting her.

Wasn't there an interview not long ago where Ayu said she wants to experience everything for herself to the point where even if she could see into the future, she wouldn't want to know anything about it? I'm really happy for her and I hope she finds happyness with Mannie.

SKYia · #4 1st January 2011, 09:16 PM

I guess some people are negative about the wedding simply because they are afraid it's a huge rush and may end bad for Ayu. As long as she's happy everything's ok.

**Yoake** · #5 1st January 2011, 09:38 PM

I'm happy for Ayu. I always wanted that she find love. But I'm afraid because things are rush. I love Ayu because she brought & brings me a lot of things again. But I don't want to see a divorce after one year because they did things quickly. I would like she has her sweet season family for life & not for a only time!! I want to see her smile because she's happy behind the stage.

I'm glad because it seems she take more time for her now. In the past 4 years she was married with her job & everybody know that she didn't really care about her health (I thought about the event before PCDL 08-09). It's a good thing that there is a person who take care about her. I only hope he 'll never drop her.

Echiko · #6 1st January 2011, 09:29 PM

I don't think it's being hypocritical at all.

Ultimately, most fans are concerned about her happiness. So yes. Is it wrong to be worried for her after this sudden announcement? It's not like fans don't trust her judgment. Heck. We ARE just fans. Like you said, we don't know her personal life. We don't know exactly what she's thinking, what experiences she's had, why she decided to do this, etc, etc. We only know that presumably they first met during the shooting of virgin road and somehow within these few months, they fell in love with each other.

I don't think anyone will disagree that fans DON'T have a right to make decisions for her happiness. It's HER life to do what she wishes. But Ayu is a human being like anyone else. She can make mistakes and she's not perfect. There's as much of a feeling of wanting to wish her well as an underlying worry that this won't work out for her. Based off of personal experiences, it's understandable that so many fans are worried this won't work out for her. They've been together for such short period of time compared to the time with her past boyfriend. Personally, I worry that if it IS an issue with age, I hope she isn't marrying because she's worried about not finding her true love at this age. (Me and my cousins had that kind of conversation before...) Doesn't mean we don't support her. It's being honest.

The problem I think many fans have is the fact that this announcement came out of nowhere makes it seem like she decided this on a spurr of a moment when in actuality, she has probably thought long and hard about it, and had actually taken a lot of time to get to know Mannie and what their relationship is.

So all in all, my thoughts are. It's not wrong that fans are shocked. Worried. And somewhat in disbelief. But I think in time, as their relationship becomes more known and shared to the world. Such uneasiness will disappear. She knows her fans care and that's all. And despite whatever her fans think, only her feelings really matter.

Kanzaki · #7 1st January 2011, 09:37 PM

I agree with you.

What bothers me most is when people come up with the most bs excuse for being against their so called "rushed" romance:

"What about the language barrier?"

1. Ayu is a fluent, if not nearly fluent, english speaker. Mannie most likely the same.
2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.
3. Ever been in love with someone with a different native language? No? Then shut up.

Echiko · #8 1st January 2011, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.

In the long run like marriage, yes it is. What about communication?

But that's not an issue with this couple I believe, Ayu's english is actually not that bad in my opinion. maybe not grammatically but she knows a lot of vocab

I was so amazed in the CNN interview!

Kanzaki · #9 1st January 2011, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echiko

In the long run like marriage, yes it is. What about communication?

But that's not an issue with this couple I believe, Ayu's english is actually not that bad in my opinion. maybe not grammatically but she knows a lot of vocab

I was so amazed in the CNN interview!

But who says you need only to talk to communicate? 70% of what we "say" to each other is just made up of our body language.

Echiko · #10 1st January 2011, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

But who says you need only to talk to communicate? 70% of what we "say" to each other is just made up of our body language.

Well, I'm not saying that you can only talk. But I think that you can only grow to understand one another through body language only after being able to talk through them.

I mean it's not impossible. But I'm just considering with a difference in culture and life styles, the time they knew each other, and communicating through phone/emails, they most likely have no problems with language.

And I hope I'm not feeding gas to the flames by my point in defense of fans' worry. =_+ I've been a fan of Ayu for a long time too and I want her happiness. I just want to point out that fans have feelings for her too so their fears aren't just "having a say in how she finds happiness". They're concern. So, yes. Some can hold their tongue. But the shock will pass and fans can do whatever they want. Everyone knows only her feelings matter.

Coelacanth · #11 2nd January 2011, 12:45 AM

She's a public figure. Of course there's going to be people with different opinions about her, this includes her love life... I don't understand why so many people are offended because some individuals are either indifferent or not particularly happy for her. Who cares? It's not going to affect Ayu, we all know she's stronger than that. She can deal with the scrutiny. And someone's particular views on her personal life isn't a measure of how "good" or "bad" a fan is, so everyone needs to stop with that nonsense as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echiko

I just want to point out that fans have feelings for her too so their fears aren't just "having a say in how she finds happiness". They're concern. So, yes. Some can hold their tongue. But the shock will pass and fans can do whatever they want. Everyone knows only her feelings matter.

Thank you.

It probably has to do with me being a huge Michael Jackson fan, that I'm so distrustful. Point is, you need to be careful when you're as wealthy and successful as someone like Ayu. I'm sure people understand that it's her own life and she needs to be allowed to make her own decisions and make her own mistakes. It doesn't mean they're not going to have thoughts or feelings about her personal decisions. Y'all that are happy for her ARE still actively involved in discussing her personal matters, so don't act like everybody with a negative opinion needs to "mind their own business." Please.

microphone · #12 1st January 2011, 11:05 PM

@chocopockymaster
some people have genuine concerns about this news. i don't but you can't expect someone to think so blindly. if the feeling of happiness is the only thing important then anyone can do whatever they want, even sinful things, as long as they are happy but you know that's not right...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

But who says you need only to talk to communicate? 70% of what we "say" to each other is just made up of our body language.

you don't know what it's like to be married. someone said it might be a problem in the long run and i tend to agree. don't think about marriages you see on romantic dramas. if this was not your intention, i apologize!
i don't think it is a problem however because ayumi's english is good and she is constantly improving.

isthisLOL? · #13 1st January 2011, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

I agree with you.

What bothers me most is when people come up with the most bs excuse for being against their so called "rushed" romance:

"What about the language barrier?"

1. Ayu is a fluent, if not nearly fluent, english speaker. Mannie most likely the same.
2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.
3. Ever been in love with someone with a different native language? No? Then shut up.

Thanks, thanks, thanks for this. Most people just assume stuff about language barriers that...really isn't like that. As long as you got some knowledge about a language there ARE no language barriers in relationships.
And I fully agree with the first post as well.

Amrai-chan · #14 1st January 2011, 10:04 PM

I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

I agree with you.

What bothers me most is when people come up with the most bs excuse for being against their so called "rushed" romance:

"What about the language barrier?"

1. Ayu is a fluent, if not nearly fluent, english speaker. Mannie most likely the same.
2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.
3. Ever been in love with someone with a different native language? No? Then shut up.

For all we know they could be taking language classes so they can communicate better.

Kanzaki · #15 1st January 2011, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amrai-chan

I agree.

For all we know they could be taking language classes so they can communicate better.

Maybe. I didn't do that with my bf though, we just learned it kinda automatically as the days went by. We'd been IM'ing in english and then we met, but we just 'clicked', though there were a lot of "what?"s and "what did you say?"

My point is...It's a bs excuse for opposing an engagement. I know that, since I've got personal experience with those so called "barriers".

Spoiler:

AngelSenshi · #16 1st January 2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

Maybe. I didn't do that with my bf though, we just learned it kinda automatically as the days went by. We'd been IM'ing in english and then we met, but we just 'clicked', though there were a lot of "what?"s and "what did you say?"

My point is...It's a bs excuse for opposing an engagement. I know that, since I've got personal experience with those so called "barriers".

Spoiler:

I agree with the thread-starter in this case, and with a lot of what you, Kanzaki88, have said! I agree loads! And also, congratulations to you too!

Amrai-chan · #17 1st January 2011, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

Maybe. I didn't do that with my bf though, we just learned it kinda automatically as the days went by. We'd been IM'ing in english and then we met, but we just 'clicked', though there were a lot of "what?"s and "what did you say?"

My point is...It's a bs excuse for opposing an engagement. I know that, since I've got personal experience with those so called "barriers".

Spoiler:

Yeah it's a possibility. It is. Congratulations!

Kanzaki · #18 2nd January 2011, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amrai-chan

Yeah it's a possibility. It is. Congratulations!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngelSenshi

I agree with the thread-starter in this case, and with a lot of what you, Kanzaki88, have said! I agree loads! And also, congratulations to you too!

Thank you ^^
The date, my 23rd birthday: 11-11-11

I'm so happy for Ayu, for myself, and I have such high hopes for this year right now

panda♥ · #19 1st January 2011, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amrai-chan

I agree.

For all we know they could be taking language classes so they can communicate better.

yup, Ayu doesn't tell us every detail of her life, so it could very well be possible!

njanjayrp · #20 2nd January 2011, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kanzaki88

1. Ayu is a fluent, if not nearly fluent, english speaker. Mannie most likely the same.
2. When you're in love, things such as languages and talking aren't really that important.
3. Ever been in love with someone with a different native language? No? Then shut up.

While I think that no one else besides her should have a say in who she marries or not, she is far from being fluent in English. I agree with the rest though.