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^^it's what she said, this has nothing to do with "shitting over her work". She specifically refers to her entire work, like covers, music videos and songs. This has nothing to do with not releasing as much. She talks about how Shimoko said on social media how she (Ayu) was putting her everything into this work (Haru yo, koi) and that she felt the same way. Then she goes on about how she was putting her everything into her covers, her songs, her videos and how this time, when recreating Haru yo, koi, it wasn't important if she had fun doing what she was doing but that she felt she was putting her soul into it. She then asks, and this is important, "after finishing this work, I immediately wondered how many years it has been that I was that focused, exhausted, concentrated and possessed by something". Then she continues, saying that she sadly had forgotten that feeling, but that frankly speaking, she really woke up. She finishes that paragraph with "私は ね。" (this is me, right?), which touched me the most about that entry. Also, she says no matter how Haru yo, koi will turn out, she has to return to this Hamasaki Ayumi.
So yes, she talks about how she was not putting her everything into her work during the last few years. And honestly, I respect her a lot for saying this. She is not perfect and her work neither. If she had some years when her priorities shifted and she felt "having fun" was more important, that's fine. She indirectly says that having fun with her work was more important to her for some time than the dedication for the entire outcome of a project like she used to have in the past. But working on a song that important brought back for her how it felt to dedicate herself to her work and that this is Hamasaki Ayumi and she needs to return to that Ayu and won't stop. It's a very brave thing to admit that and if anything, I love her even more for this.
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7th March 2021, 02:44 AM
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