The Happiness of Ayumi Hamasaki

[RyRyMini]

Originally Posted by ayu_ready78

Since I don't get on here much anymore and a little shocked to see Ayu just got married in Las Vegas to Mannie. I'm very happy to see her making a big step in her life and wish both of them the best.

Only thing I'm having a hard time with, is Ayu's conversational English good enough to communicate with Mannie where they don't have a language barrier to deal with?

Most likely not. I'm sure they can talk about surface issues, but that only takes you so far in a relationship. Relationships last because of fundamental ideals rather than surface things like likes and dislikes. Like others have said, though, it should come in time.

I'm cool with the marriage, but still surprised that it all happened so fast. It's obviously what she wants though, so because we are only her fans, we don't really have the right to pass judgment or cast disapproval on her.

[Ayumiko]

It is Ayu's decision who she marries...its her personal life after all. We fans shouldn't be in her way to make such decisions. If that's what she wants, then I'm happy for her and wish her the best. As a fan of hers, I'm just worried about her if Mannie is really right for her. Of course we don't know Mannie personally...he might be a great guy and truly loves Ayu....but from the fact that they just met not that long ago and they're gonna live separately so far away from each other, makes me think how the marriage will work out. I do hope things will work out for them. I just hope Ayu won't get hurt...but I should trust Ayu's decision. So from now on, I'm not gonna worry about her personal life...and just look forward to the music and goodies Ayu will give us.

Edit: If Mannie is the reason for the awesome cdl and Love songs album, then I certainly wish them happiness!!

[Suteisi]

Originally Posted by RyRyMini

Most likely not. I'm sure they can talk about surface issues, but that only takes you so far in a relationship. Relationships last because of fundamental ideals rather than surface things like likes and dislikes. Like others have said, though, it should come in time.

I learned the basics of english in high school, and then I met a boy that spoke english ONLY and we were together for 3 years. You can rest assured I've been totally fluent in english since then. Yes, I make mistakes sometimes, and I still have issues pronouncing certain words, but I learned the most when I was with him.

I'm sure it'll be something similar for Ayu. :3

[Uemarasan]

Everyone, thanks for contributing to this discussion! It's very much appreciated I especially like the stories that people are sharing regarding intercultural relationships! It's a topic that I've always found fascinating. Thank you for the insight into your own personal experiences.

[kalikagai]

Originally Posted by ayu_ready?

I look at her husband and have a bad feeling about him, without knowing him. I look at him and don't like him. what's bad in this?

Opinions based on extrasensory looks at the photo and PV's are quite strange, aren't they? Well, only strange though, nothing more.

***
It's normal and productive (lol) to have opinions, to share them once or twice, but it's odd to make wide half-hysterical speculation about person's private life.

[AyusakiFan]

Originally Posted by Uemarasan

I'm a little surprised about some of the negativity and doubts surrounding the big announcement. I'm genuinely happy for Ayu, but it also got me to thinking about something regarding the relationship between fans and their idols. So I just wanted to ask: do fans have the right to have a stake in the happiness of the people they admire, people they do not know in REAL life? Why?

My take: I mean, for God's sake, she's 32 years old. She's an adult who can take care of herself and she's capable of making her own decisions. This isn't some sort of immature clueless high school romance; I am sure they know what they're getting into.

Sometimes people just click instantly. Love doesn't have any predetermined lengths or limitations. And honestly, people, please, your ages are showing. The older you get the less time it takes for you to know if you can see a future with someone. By the time you're 30, you've gone through all the crap and now you can see through the BS when it comes to people and relationships, especially when it comes to people of high emotional intelligence like Ayu. Sometimes you just know; it depends on your emotional maturity. You don't need to waste time. I even bet that Ayu has had a lot of boyfriends and flings that her fans know NOTHING about ever since Tomoya Nagase happened. You'd be surprised about the things you never know about people, even your friends.

I wish happiness for the both of them. Let her live her OWN life and let her make her OWN mistakes, if it comes to that. Ayu should not live for anyone but herself.

It's also disappointing to find so many hypocrites in this forum, fans who want the best for Ayu but only if it is on THEIR terms. But that's just what I think.

EDIT: I just wanted to add this question since most people don't bother reading through all of the posts and I wanted to expound on why I started this thread For those who are afraid that Ayu would not be as dedicated to her career after her marriage: has it gotten to the point that for Ayu the happiness of her fans is more important than her happiness and that people subscribe to this? Or has the happiness of her fans even become her happiness? That is something I don't know how to feel about yet.

I mean, for once, Ayu will be living for something other than the happiness of her fans.

I completely agree with you. While I understand that she is a public figure and people always have their opinions about celebrities, a line has to be drawn at some point when it comes to their personal lives. When people start dictating what others should do with their lives and start speaking on things they know nothing about, it's certainly out of line. For me personally, I haven't spoken much about her marriage except that I'm happy for her and as long as she's happy, I'll remain that way. I don't know her or Mannie on a personal level so there's not much else I can say about their relationship. I personally hate when people want an explanation for personal decisions or make bold statements when they have no facts to back them up. People need to know when they're crossing over the fan line into "you need to back up and mind your own business" territory.

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by Ayumiko

It is Ayu's decision who she marries...its her personal life after all. We fans shouldn't be in her way to make such decisions. If that's what she wants, then I'm happy for her and wish her the best. As a fan of hers, I'm just worried about her if Mannie is really right for her. Of course we don't know Mannie personally...he might be a great guy and truly loves Ayu....but from the fact that they just met not that long ago and they're gonna live separately so far away from each other, makes me think how the marriage will work out. I do hope things will work out for them. I just hope Ayu won't get hurt...but I should trust Ayu's decision. So from now on, I'm not gonna worry about her personal life...and just look forward to the music and goodies Ayu will give us.

Edit: If Mannie is the reason for the awesome cdl and Love songs album, then I certainly wish them happiness!!

Don't say that. I didn't like Love Songs much and now I'm gonna blame him

People are selfish. That's not news. :/

[jbrat2219]

It's natural to worry with news like this. To get it so suddenly and knowing that she's marrying someone she's only known for a few months definitely sends off red alerts. However, it doesn't give us the right to control her life. I don't know if any of you noticed but Ayu doesn't give two ***** and a donkey about what anyone thinks. It is something she reflected in her music and her life-style for many years. So people who think if they ***** enough, out of concern or not, she'll suddenly realize "her mistake" and adjust her life to the path you choose reaaaaaaaaaaaally need to grow up and get a life of their own.

Also, the Mannie-hating is obnoxious. This guy was A-okay by fans until he married the Queen and now all of a sudden he's a mooching, lazy, no-good bastard who is only after Ayu's money. He gave NO indication of being a bad person before, even when fans actually met him, so there's no reason to accuse him of being a bad person now. He WORKS, he makes his OWN MONEY, and he LOVES Ayu. So drop it, please~

[Kingdom]

[RoboNyanya]

And first thing I'm thinking is "Whoa, Ayu's a married woman now?" How long have I been out of the loop, LMAO!?

Kind of weird, but having read this discussion, I agree with points both Uemarasan and Coelacanth made. While I agree that we should all have the decency to step back and wish her happiness in her decision, you can't control people's feelings/their gut reactions, however rational or irrational those buggers are.

And this is a forum - a negative opinion is certainly not less valuable than a positive one. Discussion is the key. From a moral standpoint, so long as people are saying things that they believe are right and fair, they have as much right to naysay as they do to yaysay -whatever that means.

Also, while it's very true that so much of our communication is non-verbal, a lot of culture (non-verbal behaviors and thought patterns) is actually embedded in language, strangely enough. I think it definitely depends on the couple and their willingness to see eye-to-eye, but the opportunities for some serious misunderstandings pop up all over the place if people cannot verbally communicate on the same level. From my own experience (not that it speaks for everyone), my parents' relationship has and always will suffer because of this discrepancy. Though my Japanese mother has been speaking English on a functional level of fluency for thirty years, there are certain nuances of English (especially humor) she will NEVER catch onto for how intelligent she is. And this has led to so many misunderstandings and heated conflicts, that I can't help but think it's a little naive to think that love will simply overcome EVERYTHING. I won't be a cynic and say love can't get people through some tough ****, but there's a reason people with more similarities have more harmonious relationships. tl;dr, tmi, etc...


Naturally though, I HOPE that the lady that brought us so many fun, inspiring songs will share many happy years with the man she chose. But as I do not know her personally, I will politely refrain from judging her or Mannie.

[hsienko]

Originally Posted by Ayumiko

but from the fact that they just met not that long ago and they're gonna live separately so far away from each other, makes me think how the marriage will work out.

If they are to end up getting divorced for any reason it will probably be because of distance. Its one thing to be bf/gf and living in different cities but to be married and live in different counties is another thing. Because we've all seen in before where the couple struggles to make it work and then one of them meets someone and has an affair or seeks a divorce to pursue their relationship with the other person. But I say its better to be married (if you're the marriage type) and not have it work than to not have it and wonder for what never was. Hopefully she'll have a baby, because to me it seems this would be her only shot to have one, as bad as that sounds.

[freedreamer]

Love you! hahah

but well..I think as foreign fans we see it one way. Japanese fans see it another way.
Im really happy for her of course. Definitely wished there was a wedding ceremony of sorts and Ayu can be in a wedding gown haha but as long as she's happy.

To be honest, the news, well. I'm over it haha. Now I'm just waiting for what new music is coming our way! Afterall, it's her personal life. I'm interested in her career and works Lol, i think I sound like I don't bother but well, I did and was very excited for her.

[happiholic★]

Originally Posted by hsienko

If they are to end up getting divorced for any reason it will probably be because of distance. Its one thing to be bf/gf and living in different cities but to be married and live in different counties is another thing. Because we've all seen in before where the couple struggles to make it work and then one of them meets someone and has an affair or seeks a divorce to pursue their relationship with the other person. But I say its better to be married (if you're the marriage type) and not have it work than to not have it and wonder for what never was. Hopefully she'll have a baby, because to me it seems this would be her only shot to have one, as bad as that sounds.

But, if they do get divorced, won't it be hard on the child? They would have to spread them selves across two continents. I lived on the American Base in Yokohama, and witnessed a lot of Japanese women marrying American men, but end up divorcing, for various reasons. Its really hard on the children from what I have seen and the parents too. Most of the time, someone loses out.

[AyUmIXx]

Originally Posted by freedreamer

Love you! hahah

but well..I think as foreign fans we see it one way. Japanese fans see it another way.
Im really happy for her of course. Definitely wished there was a wedding ceremony of sorts and Ayu can be in a wedding gown haha but as long as she's happy.

To be honest, the news, well. I'm over it haha. Now I'm just waiting for what new music is coming our way! Afterall, it's her personal life. I'm interested in her career and works Lol, i think I sound like I don't bother but well, I did and was very excited for her.

yeaaa excited for new music!
i want MORE LOVE SONGS from Ayu!! since she's been working with a lot of tough-relationship type of songs..i want more Romantic love songs.. i wanna how she feels all along the relationship with Mannie through her music

[xLuna&1LOVE]

Wow, I'm just back from a holiday and what's this? Ayu is married? Dude, this is why I never can leave my computer for a day.

Anyway, I am happy for her, if she thinks Mannie could make her happy, then let it be.
I am just very surprised and a little bit shocked that's all.

[shizukanaotoko]

I totally agree that we should just be happy for Ayu!!! I'm just slightly concerned that it might have been a rash decision. 4 months is a short time after all but I wish her the best and I will always love her with all my heart

[Uemarasan]

Originally Posted by hsienko

If they are to end up getting divorced for any reason it will probably be because of distance. Its one thing to be bf/gf and living in different cities but to be married and live in different counties is another thing. Because we've all seen in before where the couple struggles to make it work and then one of them meets someone and has an affair or seeks a divorce to pursue their relationship with the other person. But I say its better to be married (if you're the marriage type) and not have it work than to not have it and wonder for what never was. Hopefully she'll have a baby, because to me it seems this would be her only shot to have one, as bad as that sounds.

That's a bit presumptuous because we don't really know what kind of arrangements they have made regarding their marriage. Maybe they'll make Los Angeles their primary residence, with Ayu heading to Japan to do shows and TV appearances. She can record songs, films PVs, and do photoshoots outside of Japan. Maybe they'll settle down in Tokyo and Mannie will sign up with a modeling agency in Japan. The very nature of their jobs means that distance will be easier to negotiate because they do not have to go to an office everyday. Both of their schedules are very flexible. Mannie can simply take time off to accompany Ayu during her concert tours and he will still have work to return to in Los Angeles. Also, Ayu has enough money so that the financial burden on travel is virtually inconsequential. In fact, she lives outside of Japan several months of the year.

The only time that distance will be an issue is if they decide to have children. But even then there are several educational options that can have a child be as mobile as the parents.

[Suteisi]

I really don't see how distance could be THAT much of an issue. I mean, they've got two important things right now, Love and Cash. LOL

My 1st boyfriend and I were in long-distance relationship for 2 years and it still worked out, we moved in together and were together for a good while. We didn't break up because of the distance. When two people really love each other, it can work out. Of course, it's not always easy, and certain sacrifices might have to be made, but it's possible :3

[Corvina]

We all can just speculate.
Guess they will first both keep their first residence they have right know, but who knows how it will go on?
And I'm sure Mannie will start learning Japanese and Ayu to improve her english. They will never be on the same fluently level like a native speaking couple, but if the love is big enough, they will be able to overcome it.