[romaji and translation] GREEN

[simonlau]

thank you masa for the translation

[Melrose]

Originally Posted by v3lun420

U should see his translation. He is a dedicated Ayu Fans, As for translation, I believe his translation more than anyone else. Plus ur translation sounds like it uses a lot of unnecessary words

Thanks for repeating something that was already posted later? X_X?

And it's not my translation. I think it's Delerium-Zer0's (?) but with the choruses fixed up by me.

[fuawas]

soo beautiful!!
they're really great!
thanks ^^

[kirei_ayumi]

her lyrics to this song is too beautiful. thanks for sharing.

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by Melrose

And it's not my translation. I think it's Delerium-Zer0's (?) but with the choruses fixed up by me.

It's chocopockymaster's... there are tiny bits of input from me in another thread but I don't know if those lyrics reflect them at all.

[ren0210989]

Originally Posted by maikaru

masa's translation feels more natural, I think, than that other one.

yeah, it doesnt need to have word "light" in it because hikarikagayaite is taken in literally to mean "really shining."

maybe instead of "in cold air," masa君〜 you should put "with a cold air."
or something like that.. "with dignity," "with solitude"
that kind of cold, lonely feelings.

I really like he didnt put "heart" into the second verse, cause kokoro doesnt just mean heart, but mind, soul, etc. So its literal the way one thinks to walk I think..

Yeah masa did so good job... english is so good. _ _);

and in my mind, the other one did not include a vital part of the last last last section.
I want him to see my smile
More natural than now

However maybe natural should be "innocent" or so.

uuaa.. I don't know!

you mean "with cold air", you can't put "a" in there. that's just not gramaticly correct, right?

and i agree, everyone should STOP the whole translation compareson stuff.
masa did an awesome job as always, his lyrics are always natural, the other version posted by chocopockymaster were a little bit idk how to say it... let's just say, modified to look more artistic & beautifull.

[Mitkki]

Originally Posted by ren0210989

you mean "with cold air", you can't put "a" in there. that's just not gramaticly correct, right?

You can. It would change the meaning though. 'In the cold air' would literally describe it as the surrounding air actually being cold while 'with a cold air' would be figuratively used to give the appearance of the coldness of an action with disregard to the actual air temperature. I believe in this case the former would be the more appropriate wording.

Originally Posted by maikaru

maybe instead of "in cold air," masa君〜 you should put "with a cold air."
or something like that.. "with dignity," "with solitude"
that kind of cold, lonely feelings.

'with a cold air' in english would most likely be interpreted as 'uncaring' or 'uncompassionate' though, not as dignified or in a solitary state.

[edgefusion]

They're okay I suppose, a little cookie-cutter now. She's done much much better in the past.

[otsukachieko]

uwaaa... this is soo beautiful *___*
i'm shivering when i read it =__= ~~
thx for sharing...!!!

[kendelle]

What beautiful lyrics! Thanks so much for sharing them with us all, masa~!! ^_^

[PoetGirl]

thanks for translation. beautiful lyrics

[Delirium-Zer0]

Originally Posted by ren0210989

and i agree, everyone should STOP the whole translation compareson stuff.
masa did an awesome job as always, his lyrics are always natural, the other version posted by chocopockymaster were a little bit idk how to say it... let's just say, modified to look more artistic & beautifull.

The more people can translate something, the better... that way you get more interpretations. Especially with a language like japanese, where context is very important - things like subjects being omitted, words having totally opposite meanings depending on the sentence they're in, words having different meanings depending on their kanji but they're written in hiragana so you don't know for 100% what the writer meant...

Not to mention different translation styles. You get some people who translate word-for-word, leaving metaphors & idiomatic expressions intact even if they don't make sense in english; or you get translators who translate the metaphors & idioms. Each translator will specify a different subject when subjects are omitted, too.

Japanese to english is REALLY tricky and it's nearly impossible to get 100% correct, especially when "correct" has different meanings for different people.

So the more translations we get of any one song's lyrics, the better. When we see many interpretations, we can get a better of idea of what Ayu may have realy been talking about.

[xtinavrilayu]

She's amazing!

[ストロボ・EdGE]

I don't know if someone already posted the Japanese here but:

光り輝いて凛とした木々たちが
身を隠すように色を消していく
希望へつながる何もかもを遠ざけて
ぬくもりを怖がる私のように

あの人の笑顔がもう
眩しくて優しすぎて
弱さ見せてしまいそうで
泣き出してしまいそうで

☆触れた指の先から
想いが溢れ出しそうに
なったあの瞬間から
この恋に気付きました

どうして人は心のままに従い
歩いていくのが難しいのだろう

本当はきっとずっと
わかってたはずなのにね
現実に目をそむけた
真実を否定してた

★見つめるその先には
愛しいあの人の姿
風が変わる頃には
この想い伝えようか

☆★

再び芽吹いた木々たちが色付いたら
今より素直な笑顔見せたい

[taskinillusion]

This song is so fresh and amazing. <3 Thank you so much for the translation!

[Melrose]

I want him to see my smile

Shouldn't the him's be removed? She (almost?) never talks about a him or her but speaks in general or about a you. And with the PV it's not even sure she's talking about a him or her so I think that changing it would it better. ^^ What do you think masa?

[masa]

Ima yori sunao na
Egao mise tai

It's true that she doesn't say in this part that she wants to show her smile to "him". But this is a love song to a particular person, and I think it's unnatural to interprete that she wants to show her smile to "everyone". So I added "him" to my translation.

[vuong22]

thanks so much

[Nessa]

Originally Posted by Delirium-Zer0

The more people can translate something, the better... that way you get more interpretations. Especially with a language like japanese, where context is very important - things like subjects being omitted, words having totally opposite meanings depending on the sentence they're in, words having different meanings depending on their kanji but they're written in hiragana so you don't know for 100% what the writer meant...

Not to mention different translation styles. You get some people who translate word-for-word, leaving metaphors & idiomatic expressions intact even if they don't make sense in english; or you get translators who translate the metaphors & idioms. Each translator will specify a different subject when subjects are omitted, too.

Japanese to english is REALLY tricky and it's nearly impossible to get 100% correct, especially when "correct" has different meanings for different people.

So the more translations we get of any one song's lyrics, the better. When we see many interpretations, we can get a better of idea of what Ayu may have realy been talking about.

I just thought I'd add this since no one else had. The more translations the better, I agree compeltely. The English language is beyond beautiful, so I love when people/translators colaborate and work together to produce, using our amazing language, profound and powerful translations.

But what Melrose did, is he came into Masa's thread giving his prefered translation on the song, posted a direct link to it and said he prefered that one, which is very close to saying he thinks it is better than Masa's.

To come into a thread with someone else's translation, which Masa clearly works hard on, then to all but say "this other [linked] translation is better" is just flat out rude. There are so many other ways Melrose could have come and discussed the differences with Masa in his translation and the one Melrose linked, and thusly they could have had a very productive discussion which could have lead to an even more poetic and profound translation of this song. Instead, Melrose's first post, which proclaimed his preference and linked it in Masa's thread, again, was rude, and I am not surprised in the slightest people were upsetted by such.

Everyone is on the same side when it comes to translating and understanding Ayu's lyrics, so the negetive conotation Melrose had was compeltely without tact and could be perceived as insulting to Masa. Some people really need to think before they post so situations like what has occured in this thread are prevented in the future.

Anyway, off that topic. I personally like to read through the translations of Ayu's songs, than go through and subtley change just phrasing to make them, at least to me, flow more... structurally in English. No meanings have been changed at all, just subtle things added to help (in my opinions) in English at be smoother. Of course it diverts from the literally translations quite a but, but for native English speakers, it helps in the poetic (at least my friend's I've shared them with and myself think so) flow of the lyrics. I thought I might share with you all. This is Masa's translation that I tweeked only a few things I thought would come off a bit more powerful, but of course this is just my opinion. I always love Masa's translations, and if I've butchered it, PLEASE let me know! Again, MEANING has not been changed, just certain structures and a word here and there. I've always been BEYOND afraid to share any of my tweeked translations with Ayu fans since I didn't want to insult the fans, and ESSPECIALLY Masa, since I respect him greatly.

GREEN~
The brilliant trees, flowing in the cool air
Are losing their colors... as if hiding themselves
Just like me, who is afraid of such warmth
Keeping myself away from anything leading to hope

The smiling face of that individual
Looks so dazzling and tender
I'm afraid I might show my weakness
And begin to release my tears

* I noticed this love
The moment my fingertips touched his
And my feelings were
All but ready to flow out

I wonder why it's difficult for us
To walk [life] as we wish

Actually, I've always
Realized this for sure
But I turned my eyes from the reality of it
And denied the truth

** I'm gaze at my dearest person...
I might tell him
Of this feeling
Perhaps at the time the wind changes

* (repeat)
** (repeat)

When the trees come into bloom again
And the leaves are a fresh green
I want him to see my smile
More natural than it is of now...

[emi♡]

^Melrose understands what happened and so does everyone else. It was something of a misunderstanding.

There was no need for you to bring it up at all. Agreeing with Deli is fine, but singling him out, is rude. It's over, and it's not like he kept doing it or anything. He even sent masa a PM about it. A big chunk of your very long post in unnecessary.

but anyway...
Thank you for your new version. The English does flow very well, but I think you should be careful if you move away from the literal translation, of how you structure it. I think it would look and sound better if some things weren't in four line stanzas.

But that's just my opinion.