ayu "forgiving her past" ??

[sitara]

odd question, but what is it with ayumi and forgiving her past? you come across that very often in lyrics and in the 2004 documentary... It sounds like she did something very bad in her childhood, and she is seeking forgiveness.
but as far as we know she wasn't treated very well by her parents, so why does AYU need to be forgiven??

2 examples in her lyrics:

RAINBOW:
"I was forgiven by forgiving many things
Including my childhood so long ago"

CAROLS:
"that i can forgive my past someday...."


please??